A week later Emma informed me that Christian agrees to meet and talk. This made me happy, I have heard rumours going around that Christian had had a rough time since that day. At first I thought that he deserved what he got but now when I think about it the more I feel sad for him as he lost his two best friends while I gained them.
Today I was meeting Christian at the local coffee shop. Emma mentioned to try not raise my voice at him as she saw a teacher yelling at him and he shut down. The thing is for every action you make there’s always a reaction, one that he made which which altered our life’s and no one could prepare or protect us from.
I walked into the coffee shop and noticed Christian sitting in a booth at the back of the coffee shop. I ordered an iced tea and sat across from him.
“Hey, thank you for agreeing to meet me Christian”
“That’s okay” he said quietly.
“I know you probably wondering why I have asked you to meet with me. The thing is that since that day I have been scared to see your face or just you in general because I thought that you would go after me again and this time kill me well that what my nightmares showed me. My therapist has help me a lot with they thoughts and nightmares.
My therapist has also told me for me to be able to move I have to forgive for both of us. At first she said that to me I freaked out but the more we spoke about it the more I knew she was right”.
“Ameliaaa... j know that no apology will be enough for what I done and put you through, I have hated myself since it has happened. I’m just so sorry Amelia I never realised what had happened until Jensen and Matt beat the shit out of me which I deserved. Also I’ve been dealing with so much shit not trying to defend my actions because I was a monster for doing that to you but you are the first to know this...
I’m a alcoholic and have been since I was fourteen years old and I do wish I could tell you why but I just can’t but maybe one day if you will let me. See that day the night before something happened that I can’t tell you about until I’m ready but then Emma came to mines and broke up with me so I done what I did best I turned to the bottle and drank all night and turned up at school drunk.
So Selena seemed nice to keep my mind off the break up but when I saw you, Emma and Jensen then I saw them two holding hands I just lost it. I’m not excusing what I did to you because everyday I wish I could take back that day but I can and now I have to with that”
I was speechless, so much had happened to him in a space of twenty-four hours, no wonder he flipped on me but what got me the most that has been suffering for a long time and when he spoke I could see how sincerely sorry he was.
This boy had been dealt with a very bad set of cards and until you have walked in his shoes you just don’t know. He kept it well hidden that what shocked me the most because now he looked like a shell of the person he used to be and the boy I knew growing up that’s when I decided to do one thing and I got up and slipped in beside him and hugged him at first he tensed but then he gave into the hug and cried. I know he put me through which I had people to help me where Christian had no one to talk to or care. He just needed one person to love and care for him unconditionally. I also knew this was a positive turning point in my recovery.
We offered another drink and talked like we used to but It will take a while for everyone else to warm to the idea I wanted to try be his friend again everyone deserves a second chance. We finished our coffees and headed outside.
“You need a lift home”
“ oh no I can walk it’s not far.”
“Don’t be silly get in and I will take you home .”
We got into the car and drove off. But what I didn’t know that jasper was across the street and seen me and Christian get into my car. But I would get the second degree from jasper tonight since I forgot to mention I was meeting him and clearly Emma or Jensen didn’t say a word to him.
Christian to me that he was living in a cheap motel because he couldn’t endure anymore of what was happening at home. I drove to the motel and gave him my number and that we should do this again and if he ever needs someone else to just call me day or night.
After I dropped Christian off I drove him. When I walked though the door I hear loads of shouting.
“What’s going on here”
“Well you tell me Amelia why you felt the need to meet yob with christian” jasper said with fire in his eyes.
“Well I decided scout a week ago with my therapist that it was time to forgive Christian, and do you know what I’m glad I did because that boy had been an alcoholic for the last 3 years because something had been happening daily at home.”
“Ohh so you just going to forgive him just like”
“That’s not fair jasper, but for me to able to move I have to and I am because its who I am and to help with my recovery but you don’t understand that none of you “ I screamed and turned around and walked back out my front door running to my car while jasper ran after me shouting on me but I got into my car and drove away.
They just don’t get it, they’re lucky they to feel normal where is I don’t. I know what Christian done was wrong and so doe he but I’ve decided to forgive him for us both. I drove to the little lat not far from my house and only my parents and Elliot knew about it. I used to come here to clear my head, especially after the rejection I got from jasper.
My phone kept going off so I turned it off. I just wanted to be alone, sitting on the rocks for a while when I noticed dads car and sighed when dad and Elliot got out the car. I walked up to them hugged them both without saying anything then I got into my car and drove home.
As soon as I got home I ran up to my room and locked the door. Don’t people understand I want to be alone for a while. I sat at my desk and started writing in my journal of what happened and how I was feeling right now because I was feeling I’m losing control.
After a while a felt calm so I unlocked my door and got into bed. I checked my phone and had several missed calls and messages but one caught my eye which was from jasper.
Amelia, I know your not answering my calls but I just wanted to say sorry and I had no right to speak to you like that, can I come over tomorrow so we can speak. I hate that I have hurt you. Please message me back please I’m so worried. I’m sorry I love you - jasper
Jasper I’m okay so no need to worry, yes you really did hurt me. Yes we will talk tomorrow. I’m going to sleep I’m exhausted from today, text me when you want come over tomorrow, I love you too - Amelia
After sending that message I turned my lamp off and fell into a deep slumber.