Feeling like a pariah
Finals came around and the spaced out to three days. Tomorrow was my last one and I will be glad for them to be over since I needed loads of sleep finals are so exhausting. Jasper was working more shifts so I hardly seen him.
I sat at my desk just thinking about the past year, so much has happened and changed. I have been messaging Emilie. She told me Christian is listening to the doctors instructions and is gradually getting better.
Next week me and Emilie are visiting Christian, I just hope it doesn't set him back. I'm grateful for Emilie for keeping me updated and that Christian wants me to be his friend.
About 12pm I got ready to head into the school for my last final. I got into my car and drove to school. It's crazy to think after this final and graduation high school is finally over. I sat down in the classroom and start on the English paper I had to do. 3 hours later my last final was done and I headed home, we had to wait till tonight and check online for our results.
Well I passed all my exams now it was on to graduation so I had to attend school for the next three days for an hour to practice for graduation which was absolutely ridiculous considering you just needed to sit in a chair while people spoke boring speeches about life. Then collect our diplomas which isn't hard or needing practice.
"Hey" Emma said knocking on my room door.
"Hey girl" I replied.
"So I need to tell you something"
"Okaaay.. you aren't pregnant are you"
"Ahh hell no.. I'm the valedictorian for graduation"
"Oh my god Emma congrats.. you deserve it babe"
We sat in my room when Lilly popped her head in my room door.
"How many times, we aren't guy" Emma told Lilly while rolling her eyes. I laughed at them both.
"Emma, Lilly I need to tell you's something" Emma see how you hot Christian to meet up with me, well he told me a few thing. That he's not had the best home life and has been an alcoholic since the age of fourteen."
Ohhh myyy goddd!!" Emma whispered. "Jeez" Lilly said.
"I know and Emma you were right he's not the same Christiansen's all knew growing up, he's a shell of himself"
"He also tried to kill himself the other night after I dropped him off at the hotel he's been staying at"
"What the hell was he thinking" Lilly asked.
"Well I think he thinks it's better that way because he has done it few times before this time"
"How do you know this" Emma asked.
"Well yesterday his cousin Emilie came by to tell me because Christian asked her to tell me"
"Why though not like your friends with him anymore" Emma said curtly.
"Well actually I want to be his friend again that boy knows he has done wrong but he deserves for someone to care about him since his parents don't. I hope you understand this"
They both stared at me speechless, I think they were shocked most about me wanting to be friends with Christian again. If they don't want want to be his friend that's they're choice and this is mines".
"Well umm uhh I'm just too shocked to speak" Lilly said.
How can you sit there and say that your just going to forgive and forget, I'm sorry but that boy put you into hospital with that accident and the effects of the hat he had done to you and now your willing to be his friend again. I just don't get it Amelia. Are you you okay I mean are you thinking straight."
"Emma I get your upset, Jasper was the same but I can't in good consequence let him be alone with no one. While I gained more friend he lost them, I'm not excusing him for what he done but he's getting the help he need at the moment and I want to be his friend end of."
Emma and Lilly got up and left, I really did think they would understand but I guess not or maybe they will come around one day who know or maybe I will have no friends now too.
Things did get better it was over two week since I told Emma and Lilly about everything and Emma and Lilly walking out my room and they still weren't speaking to me and Emma was rarely home now too.
I knew they wouldn't be happy about my decision but I didn't expect this. I mean friends are supposed to support or be there for you. I felt down like before and started shutting my parents and jasper out. I try to do the right thing but I still get the shit end of the stick every time and be good , follow the rules and be a good person in general and people say you do these things you will have a good life but that's not true at all.
Jasper plopped down on my bed, still in his work clothes.
"You never changed"
"Well I didn't go home but message my mom and came here straight from work."
"Ohh makes sense but why"
"Because if I see Emma and Lilly for how they are treating you then I'd do something I'd regret later."
"It's okay jasper, I'm used to it. I always get the shit end of the stick no matter what I do, I mean I try to fix things to make things right or better but I still either get treated horribly or punished."
"Babe I don't want to see you this way I hate seeing you so hurt which has been a lot lately." He said sombrely.
"I know but now I only have you, my parent, Emilie and Christian but that's okay. I'm just so sick of it all even my brother is no longer speaking to me and sometimes I wish I just doesn't on Thant operation Table."
"Don't you dare speak like that... I can't lose you baby and I won't lose because one day I want to make you my wife and have a family with you someday."
"Babe that's so sweet and I would love that ... but school first."
"Yeah of course, we are far too young for all that just now."
"Do you want to stay for a bit and watch tv with me."
"Hell yeah I do"
We lay down on my bed and watched some pretty little liars. I felt myself falling asleep while jasper ran his fingers through my head which made me feel relaxed.
I woke up at 8pm with my mom shouting on me for dinner. We got up quickly and headed down stairs to eat.
"Oh hi jasper didn't know you were here" my mom mentioned to jasper.
"Yeah came over at half five to see Amelia and I'm terribly sorry for the other night for how spoke to you and frankie it's unacceptable and I'm truly sorry."
"It's totally fine and I understand why you were angry but I also understand that Amelia wants to forgive Christian to be able to be happy and move on"
"I understand more now than the other night but I just feel so terrible for the way I spoke to you guys and now every has made Amelia feel pariah which isn't fair."
"I know jasper but not everyone will understand Amelia's reasons on forgiving Christian it they will come around"
"But mom, if they can easily drop me because we don't agree on something and because they're angry well I guess they're not the friends I thought they were and that's okay people come and go in life"
"But honey they won't be angry forever"
"Yeah I know but at the end of the day I didn't ask them to forgive him or be his friend so there's no excuse for them to be angry with me"
"I know honey" she said while setting the plates and silverware down on the table."
My dad, Elliot and Emma came and sat down at the table for dinner. I sat quietly only saying a few word to my parents and jasper.
"How long is this ignoring each other going to last" my dad asked raising his voice.
"Well she just forgiving him like nothing happened" Elliot said
"Yeah exactly" Emma said
"I glared at Emma and Elliot then turned to my dad. "Well dad they decide to push me aside like trash, family and friends don't do that so I'm done with them all".
I got up with my plate and glass of water and put them on the counter. I walked to the hallways and grabbed my coat and headed out to my car.
" wait up Amelia" I turned to see jasper running out the house towards me.
We got into the car as I drives away.
"So where to" I asked jasper.
"Well we could drive around town a few times and stay at mines or go to the city and get away for a night and go to a hotel but we will need to go to mines to get some clothes."
"City it is and it's more exciting too" I winked at him.
We stopped off at jaspers house for him to get changed and pack a bag for the night. He came out ten minutes later and Sarah waved us goodbye as we drove away.
We went to the grocery shop to get bits to eat tonight at the hotel and since we didn't eat anything at dinner. We arrived at the hotel and checked in.