I look down at Leah as she smiles up at me, crying, “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me too,” she says.
I hug her even tighter and she hides in my neck again. I don’t know what I was thinking, talking to Carrie about Leah while she was in the same room.
I run my hand over my face and let Leah continue to cry. I have found out I can calm her down best by just holding her and letting her self soothe.
She’s good at self soothing and it hurts me to think she is so good at it because no one probably cared enough to try and calm her down before.
I feel like a bad dominant because for the first time, she is crying because of what I said.
I pull her head into me and kiss her, “Hush, Love,” I tell her, standing up. “I’m gonna change the sheets, so we can go to bed okay, Darling?” I say, setting her down on the couch.
She nods and wipes her tears away, sitting on the couch for a second before laying down on the cushions.
I go into our room and strip the bed, throwing the sheets into the hamper. Grabbing our new sheets, I dress the bed before going back and getting Leah.
Her tired eyes look up at me and I can see how swollen and red they are. Guilt fills me and I curse myself for such foolish behavior.
I gently lift her into my arms and carry her to bed. As soon as I lay down, she comes and curls up into my side. I wrap her up in all the blankets on our bed and make sure she is comfortable before I finally let myself rest next to her.
As soon as I settle down, her breath evens out and she drifts to sleep. Brushing her hair out of her face, I kiss her hair one last time before going to bed.
My alarm clock blares throughout the room and I bolt up, quickly trying to turn it off. I fumble with the alarm for what seems like hours as I try to turn the blasted thing off.
“Bloody... hell,” I curse, shutting it off. I let out a deep sigh, laying back in bed again. The pile of blankets next to me moves a little and Leah’s soft giggles sound our room. “Good morning, my sweet Leah,” I coo.
I unravel some of the blankets, trying to revel her pretty face, but she just hides into my side. Careful not to grab her wound, I hoist her up into my chest and pull her face to the crook of my neck.
Leah gasp at the movement, but then settling down against my chest, “Can I please make you breakfast, Master?” She asks me, sitting up on my chest.
I’m about to say yes, but then I remember that she needs to rest. “Not today, Darling. You need to rest, so your leg can heal, okay,” I tell her and she nods a little dejectedly before she quickly smiles at me again.
“Are you staying home all day today, Master?” She asks, looking down innocently at me.
“Well, you and me have to go to the doctors and psychologist, remember?” I asks her.
I told her yesterday, but I’m not surprised she forgot.
Leah nods at my question, running her hands along a scar on my collar bone. She looks deep in concentration as she does it.
I debate stopping her or not. We should really be getting ready, but I want her to feel comfortable with my body.
Her hands don’t move from the scar until her eyes drift to another smaller scar on my stomach from when I almost got stabbed.
She doesn’t venture from my scars very much and I wonder what she finds so interesting.
Does she not know what scars are?
She runs her hand over the scar on my stomach one time before focusing on a little larger scar on the side of my jaw from a childhood boating accident.
Her hands are soft and she doesn’t fight me when I cup her hands in my own, stopping her movement, “Sorry, Sir,” she apologizes recoiling from me.
I cup her hands back onto my face,“It’s just a scar,” I tell her.
Leah looks at me with confusion as first before she continues, lightly pulling her hand from my own, “I know, Master,” she says. “Who gave them to you?” She asks me with concern.
“Well, these two,” I say, pointing to the one on my jaw and collar bone, “Are just from accident as a child,” I explain. “And that one,” I say as she touches the scar on my stomach, “Is from someone who attacked me one time.”
She nods as I tell her, but her face tells me she is still in deep thought. “Wh... why?” She asks me.
“Why would someone attack me?” I ask her. She nods and looks down at the scar again. “Well, I guess they didn’t like me trying to arrest them,” I say chuckling.
Leah still looks confused and concerned though, “You have a lot of scars, Master,” she says, looking up at me.
“I suppose so,” I say chucking.
“I have a lot too,” she says in a whisper, laying down on my chest.
I wrap my arms around her as she lays on my chest. I look down at her, thinking about her words. I kiss her head and scoot her further into my arms.
It made my blood boil to think about how she probably got her scars. Only one of mine was from another person where all hers, were probably from her previous Master, based on how scared she always is.
Questions races through my mind as I held her.
How many scars did she have?
How did she get them?
Why did she get them?
“Will you show me them?” I suddenly ask.
Oh God. Stupid, Rylan.
I know she won’t tell me no.
“Yes, Sir,” she asks, sitting up. She is still naked from last night, so as she unwraps the blankets around her I can clearly see the scars which mark her body.
I don’t know how I haven’t realized them before, but skinny white scars run along her chest and across her breast along with a few scratches on her neck.
“You know what, it’s okay,” I say, sitting up with her in front of me.
She sits across from me and plays with the blankets pooled at her feet as she sits criss crossed on the bed. “It’s fine, Master. My body belongs to you anyway. I’ll tell you about whatever you want, Sir,” she says looking down.
I can’t help but run my fingers along the scar on her neck before letting my hand drop and trace the ones along her breast and stomach. She flinches away as I touch her breast, but I can’t tell if it’s because my hands are cold or the memory of how she obtained the scar hurts to remember.
“How did you get these?” I ask, running my hands over her breasts again. She doesn’t flinch this time, but she hesitates, “They are really old from when I first was given to my old master. He wanted me to pleasure him and I refused to. It was a light punishment considering I disobeyed one of his direct orders,” Leah says, awkwardly adjusting herself.
I nod trying to process what she said. “How old were you?” I ask her.
She pauses in thought,“I think I was eleven,” she says twirling a stand of hair in her hand.
“How about when you lost your virginity?” I ask her hesitantly.
“I think I was ten. Nine or ten,” she says, continuing to play with the blanket beneath, “I don’t know why I disobeyed him that night. I knew I couldn’t fight him,” she said with a frown.
I sit petrified. I knew things like this happened but, I guess you never fully believe stuff like that until it happens to someone close to you.
I grab Leah into my arms and slowly pull her into my arms. She is still going on about something, but I’m not paying attention.
I just hold her and rock her in my arms.
She was so young, so innocent and it doesn’t even sound like she knows that stuff like that wasn’t normal.
“Are you okay, Master?” Leah asks me quietly, looking up at me with concern.
I could laugh at the irony of the situation, but I was in too much shock to do anything at all.
Poor Leah, the girl who had been through so much wanted to know if I, the dominant who had the perfect childhood and story book life, was okay.
“Yes, Leah. I’m okay,” I assure her, closing my eyes and rubbing her back softly.
I never questioned that she would need to see a psychologist , but just hearing everything this morning really sealed the deal.
Leah sits on the examination table in only my sweatshirt and the pair of underwear she wore the first night we met.
The nurse has already come in and talked to us, asking several questions about her medical history, all things I don’t know and she can’t answer.
Leah swings her legs over the side of the bench and smiles over at me. Its easy to see the nervousness hidden under her smile though, “Is he scary, Sir?” she asks me.
“Who?” I ask, walking over to her. “The doctor?” She asks bitting her lip before scooting over, so I can sit down too. “No, he’s not scary at all. Doctors just want to help us anyways,” I tell her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it softly.
She nods and looks around the room again, until finally the door opens. “Good afternoon, ” the doctor greets, shaking my hand. Leah stiffens beside me and I wrap my arm around her back. “You must be, Leah,” the doctor says, going to shake her hand.
She takes his hand in hers and allows him to shake it. “I’m Doctor Harvey,” he says before pulling up a chair in front of the examination table. “I’m just gonna take a look at you and figure out how everything’s going,” Doctor Harvey explains to Leah, “The human body is very complex and it is very easy for things to be thrown out of balance.”
Leah doesn’t look sold and slowly pushes herself into my side. I smile pridefully at the action, knowing she finds comfort in me.
“So, Miss Leah,” Doctor Harvey starts, looking down at his clip board, “Are you pretty regular?”
He must see the sheer confusion on her face because he chuckles and elaborates, “Do you get your period every month?”
“Oh,” she says blushing, “I think so, Sir,” she says, looking up at me unsure. I smile and pat her side because I don’t know what else to do.
“When do you think was the last time you got your period?” He asks her.
“Umm maybe like two weeks ago,” she says, squirming uncomfortably.
“Are you two currently sexual active?” Doctor Harvey asks us.
“No,” I reply quickly. She jumps at my sudden outburst and I scold myself for scaring her.
“That was a hardy and solid no, Officer Rylan,” Doctor Harvey notes chuckling, “That must be very hard for you. It seems you have a very wonderful sub,” he says kindly, setting his clip board on the counter top.
“Yes, it is,” I admit, kissing Leah’s head, “She is very wonderful.” I agree, pulling her into me.
“Well, Miss Leah, if you don’t mind coming down here so I can look at you,” Doctor Harvey says.