Master brought his belt down on me one last time before stepping away to examine the long red lines marring my back.
“Good girl, Leah!” He praises as he runs his hand over the red welts. I smile at the praise and wiped away my tears before I thanked him, happy I could do something right for once.
Master hangs up the belt on the punishment wall before going over to the medicine cabinet.
I fell a pout beginning to spread on my face as he opens up the cabinet and pulls out the alcohol spray.
“Come here and kneel,” Master instructs.
“Yes, Sir,” I responds solemnly, crawling over to him. With each movement of my arms and legs, my back flares up from my lacerations.
Master moves my hair from my back before generously spraying the alcohol all over my wounds. I bit my lip to stop myself from screaming as the alcohol only makes the cuts and welts more painful.
I don’t dare reject Master’s generosity or kindness though and ask him to not put it on. Making sure my wounds didn’t lead to infections, was one of the small caring actions Master did for me.
Once he is satisfied, Master puts the bottle away in the medicine cabinet and gets out the collar he has me wear at night.
Although I had never ran away from him, he made me wear a collar, so he could track me if I tried to run while he slept.
The pain of previous punishments reminded me not to ask Master to loosen the tight collar or stay with me until I fell asleep.
Master didn’t like it when I asked him things, so instead of asking him anything at all, I was a good girl and thanked him for our playtime before painfully crawling over to my corner where I slept.
“Goodnight, Master. I love you,” I called after him softly as he left, causing him to turn around and look at me.
I knew it was a mistake to speak without permission once I saw his unreadable expression. I had good intentions, but that didn't mean I hadn't spoke to him without permission.
Master turns and leaves without returning my good wishes. It hurt me a little, but I was thankful he didn't punish me. Even though it upset me that he didn't respond, it wasn’t uncommon because he never wished me a good night.
After he is gone, I lay down on the concrete, wishing I had been good enough to sleep in Master’s room. The carpet in there is much nicer than the concrete flooring here. I understood though that if I want a luxury like that, I will have to try harder.
I always try to be good and make Master happy, but I usually end up messing up and making him angry.
At that thought, I let out a frustrated sigh.
I absentmindedly play with the tight collar. I try not to think about how it is squeezing my windpipe, but it doesn't work leaving the only think for me to do is cringe.
I have always hated collars.
When Master had first gotten me, I had fought with him because I didn't want a collar, but he always won. Consequently, I wear collars a lot. I don’t know if it’s because Master knows I hate them, or because he likes them, but either way I wear them an awful lot.
The concrete walls and floor of my room quickly suck the heat out of me, leaving me a shivering mess. My teeth chatter and I wrap my arms around my torso, careful not to touch the new welts on my back.
I selfishly wish for a blanket, but I stop immediately and remind myself that Master has been very generous giving me a home and love even though I am probably not even worth that much.
At the thought of Master loving me, I feel a smile growing on my face. Master was the only person who had ever loved me before.
I never had parents growing up and before and if I did, I don't remember them at all, the past nothing but a blur. Master is the only one who has told me he loved me.
I fell so sick sometimes when I realize there is a possibility I don’t feel the same way about Master...
I hear love is unconditional, but sometimes I feel anger and hate towards Master for what he does to me. Sometimes I don’t understand why I can’t sleep in his room, or have meals with him, or just cuddle on the couch.
I guess it’s because I’m not a dominant though. I’m a submissive, so maybe that’s why I don’t understand what he does to me and why.
I sit up with a jolt as my bedroom door slams against the concrete walls of my room. “Leah! Do you know what fucking time it is? It's fucking midnight. When did I tell you to be upstairs?” Master snaps at me angrily.
Tears well up in my eyes, my exhaustion only adding to my upset state. He had said to be upstairs at 11:30 because he was going to let me take a small nap, I didn't know he wasn't going to come get me though, having no alarm clock.
I try to apologize to him, but he hears none of it.
“Just shut up. I don't want to hear it,” he cuts me off, throwing something at me. I cower away from it, thinking it will hurt me.
When I’m hit with it, I realize it’s clothing. Well it’s lingerie, but it is nicer than what I’m wearing now. “Save it. We’re going over to a friend's house and you will revive your punishment there, Leah,” he seethes.
I shiver at the sound of my name and frantically shake me head. “No please. Master, please,” I beg, kneeling before him and grabbing his leg.
His eyes are hard and full of anger. I don’t realize my mistake before he harshly brings his hand down on my check again.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, Leah!" I repeat to myself as Master angrily stomps upstairs. I quickly change into the clothes he has provided, struggling to get into the tiny clothes.
I know the lingerie means I most definitely will be having sex with Master because I’m not allowed nice things unless it’s for him, but he said we are going over to his friend's house.
I want to cry and beg him not to make me go. I hate it when he makes me do things in front of others, but he says the embarrassment and humiliation reminds me of my place.
I do not know what to expect, but Master has always protected me from his friends. I have been lucky in that regard, but there is always an uncertainty about if her would protect me whenever we were around them. Not letting them touch me too roughly, but he is really angry and I fear the worst.
What if he lets them join in? What if he lets them touch me like he does? I don’t want other people to touch me. I don’t really want Master to touch me, but that’s a different thing. Master has the right to because he owns me, but his friends don’t, so I most definitely don’t want them to touch me.
“Leah!” Master calls from upstairs, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I book it upstairs and find a more than displeased Master waiting by the front door. “Let’s go. You've made me late. Did you know that? I tried to be nice and now you've made me late,” he snaps at me and I run after him barefoot into the driveway.
The pebbles dig themselves into my feet, but I know better than to ask Master to carry me to the car.
It's really dark and I can't quite see anything, but luckily the walk to the car is short.
He opens up the back seat and pushes me inside. He’s about to close the door when he thinks better of it and pulls out a piece of cloth. “Turn around,″ he demands.
I do so and he angrily ties the piece around my head before taking off the collar. He pushes me down, so I’m laying across the seats before violently closing the door.
I don’t want to anger him by pointing out that he didn’t buckle me in like he usually does, so instead I blindly search for the seat belt. “What are you doing?” Master asks me in annoyance as he sees me blindly pawing at the wall.
“The... seat belt, Master,” I say softly unsure of my actions now. I let my hands find their way to my lap as I hear him sigh in frustration.
I bow my head in shame and embarrassment. I didn't mean to upset him again. The car roars to life, “Just lay down on the seat. You’re fine,” he says.
I nod and do as I’m told, hoping he won’t be angrier at me. We sit in silence for a while, but I still feel bad about making him late.
Master was just trying to be nice to me and I ruined it. “I’m... I’m sorry, Master,” I say, waiting for him to say something, “for making you late,” I elaborate.
He doesn’t say anything and the smidgen of hope that he would forgive me vanquishes. We drive for a little while and after several twists and turns, the car stops.
I start to shake, not knowing what Master has in store for me. To my relief, Master tells me he is just picking someone up.
“Stay in the car, and don’t do or say anything stupid, okay?” Master asks me and I nod. He exists the car and I only wait a moment before I hear a female voice.
“Is that her?” An unknown female asks Master.
“Yeah. That’s her," he says getting in. He still sounds irritated with me still, but not as angry as before. I feel a hand brush my bare stomach and I flinch away as the long nails scratch me.
“Cute girl,” she says before removing her hand and buckling herself in the front.
Master laughs before the car began to move again. A hand rougher than before, which I knew to be my Master’s, grips my thigh for a moment before he pats it reassuringly.
His physical reassurance settles some of my anxiety, because he must not be in such a foul mood if he is trying to comfort me.
I don't know where we are going this late at night, or really this early in the morning, but I know it can't be good. It must be some sort of party again, right?
Oh gosh, I hope not.
The girl and Master talk for a while and I distract myself with trying to keep track of all the turns we took.
I am thrown off the seat and into the floor boards as Master hits the break before slamming on the gas. He takes a hard right. “Shit!” he curses loudly picking up more speed.
A loud siren blares behind us and Master and the other girl in the car speak frantically. “Don’t pull over,” the lady says to Master.
“Does it look like I’m about to pull over?” Master says sarcastically, making me flinch. “She’s under age and the guns not registered,” Master says before cursing loudly again and taking another hard left.
“Her?” The female says and I realize they are talking about me.
What does that me?
I scramble up from the floor and get back up on the seat again. “Where's the gun?” the female asks making my blood run cold. I bolt straight out of my seat and Master’s hand pushes me back down onto the seats.
“What good will that do, she is obviously too young?” He asks in irritation. “We’re not going to shoot you,” Master reassures me.
What did underage mean?
Why were we going so fast.
Were we running from people?
That is what the sirens were, right? We had to be running. Were they bad guys? My unasked questions remained unanswered as my Master and the woman continue to bicker.
"You've only been on parole for a month," my Master says.
"Yeah, well selling crack sells a lot more money than flipping hamburgers, so unless you have a way we can ditch or hide the stuff-"
"I'm not stopping. They'll find her and she's not of age." Master says.
The sirens continue to blare loudly and it seems as if they only get louder. “What are you doing with a gun anyway?" The girl asks Master.
Master doesn't reply to her, or maybe he does... starting to string together random concoctions of curse words.
I cower back into the seat, feeling like throwing up. I don’t know how fast we are going, or where, but I am getting motion sickness.
Right when I think things are the worst it could get, I am proven wrong.
Master and the girl swear again before the car comes to an abrupt stop.
My unbuckled body was thrown into the front seats. The sirens continues to blare around us and I can barely register Master and the girl, jumping out of the car.
The door next to me flies open and Master yanks me out, making my world spin. My headaches and I wonder if his does too. The sound, the lights, it's too much.
My blindfold must have fallen off, but Master didn’t seem to care too much. Uniformed men surround us, yelling things I can't decipher.
The world continues to spin and I cling onto Master in order to stay standing. I don’t understand what is happening, but I can barely stand.
I last for only a moment before my knees give out. "Sir, put the gun down or you will be shot."
My insides scream, my body desiring to bow to the command that wasn't even meant for me.
Time moves so fast in this moment, before I can clearly see what is going on around me, I feel a cold piece of metal to my head. I turn to look at the object, but Master's hand wraps around my throat, holding me in place.
“Take one more step and I’ll shoot her,” Master threatens, starting to walk backwards, away from the uniformed men and towards the dark forest of the highway on either side of us.
My brain can't process the words coming out of his mouth.
Master was talking about me? He couldn't be, he wouldn’t really kill me. He said he loved me. This must have been an act, or perhaps I didn't understand things correctly.
“Sir, put the gun down. We just want to talk, things don't have to go like this,” one of the uniformed men says.
“I’m not talking to anyone. Stay where you are at," Master says before moving the cold metal to my side as he grips my hair and pulls my head up.
I can't see the other men any more, only Master's face which for the first time is covered in...fear. “Sir, don’t do this. It’s not worth it.” Someone tried to reason with him.
He wasn't going to do it.
He loved me.
His hands shook and he looked down at me with an expression I had never seen before.
And then, that was the moment I felt the searing pain right before I lost consciousness as my body was thrown away.
I watched him run.
Red and blue lights flash around me. The uniformed men run around, adding to the chaos the night incurred.
I shiver at the chilly night air and stare up into the dark night sky, trying to remember what had happened.
One moment I had been lying in the back seat blindfolded and then the next thing I know, I’m lying on the asphalt a few feet away from the car.
I cringe away from the loud sirens which continue to fill the night air and change my focus to the big men in uniforms.
Handcuffs, a tool I know very well, hang around their waist with a flogger, gun and various other tools and implements.
Usually, I would be terrified of the dangerous people around me, but I fell lost among the utter chaos surrounding me.
For what seems like a while, I just lay there, observing the others. I watch in interest as three of the uniformed men carry my Master out of the dark woods he ran.
He fights them, spewing insults, but they don't seem to mind...
My Master breaks an arm free, but the quickly crush his into the floor.
None of the participants looked very happy about it and I find it odd that in this moment I fell... absolutely nothing beyond comfort.
My Master thrashes and screams obscenities and the angry looking men continued to yell at him, but I feel nothing, nothing at all.
I wonder why the uniformed men were so mad, but knew better than to try and ask Master. He looked like he was pretty preoccupied at the moment anyways and he didn’t like questions much.
My attention is pulled away from my Master and the scary men by more commotion. Another black car with red and blue lights pulls up with a big white car that has red jagged lines along the side.
Another uniformed man jumped out of the black car and two other men and a woman in white coats appeared from the rear of the white car.
I look on with interest, feeling more like a spectator than a participant in this event as I find myself utterly forgotten and out of place in this moment.
My newly found comfort in the midst of this chaos though is quickly dissolved once a uniformed man pointed the newcomers over to me.