I looked at the positive test and felt the tears stream down my face. My legs seemed to give out on me and I felt myself slide down the wall. I closed my eyes and remembered the night I got myself into this mess.
It was the beginning of summer and I had just turned 16. I am usually a shy person who would rather stay inside and watch tv than interact with people. However, my mother decided it would be a good idea for me to get a job. She was a single mother and was working all of the time, and didn’t want me to be at home alone. So, I decided to work at a sleep-away camp. The other people who worked there all went to school with me and we were all in different grades.
My best friend Ashley had joined me in working here and we were having a blast. I was in charge of the third-grade girls and she was in charge of the first graders. This is where I met Liam.
Liam was a year above me in school and was the notorious bad boy. He had been in and out of foster homes his entire life and when he wasn’t banging different girls every night, or starting fights, he was working at an after school program. He had amazing brown eyes and brown hair that was short on the sides and longer on top and seemed effortlessly styled.
He had very distinct features, he had a nice jawline that was slightly squared, and he had a small scar above his eyebrow. He was completely jacked and always had slight stubble growing on his face.
He was popular and somehow everyone loved him even though he started a lot of trouble. I would have never gotten the nerve to talk to him until he was put in charge of the third-grader boys and we had to do activities together.
Our conversations started with him making small talk and me blushing and stumbling over my words, but then they turned genuine. I couldn’t help the butterflies he gave me when he flirted with me and I couldn’t help but fall for him a little more every day.
Finally, at the beginning of August, it was the end of the summer camp counselor party and it was my first time drinking. Ashley and I had taken at least two shots and I was tipsy when Liam came over to me and started to flirt. The alcohol took over giving me confidence and one thing led to another and I woke up naked, alone, and with my virginity no longer intact.
I didn’t tell anyone about this because I was ashamed at the fact that it was so easy to get me into bed. I had never had a boyfriend, I had only been kissed once and I had sex. In a way, I wanted to just get it over with, but I also regretted it the next day immediately.
After that night I crossed Liam’s path a few times and he acted like he had no idea who I was, this was really hard to get over. I had always been a hopeless romantic so this situation was a hard pill to swallow.
That was three months ago, and I had finally gotten over the entire incident. That was until I realized that I had missed three of my periods leading me right to this position. I had ignored the missing period because I had always been irregular but after the third month I was suspicious.
I was taken out of my thoughts by a loud banging on the door.
“Lilly dinner is ready!” My mother screamed through the door causing me to jump. I quickly took the test and the box it came in and I hid it in the back of my cabinet.
“Coming!” I said. I looked in the mirror and saw my blue eyes staring back. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and combed through my light brown wavy hair to make it less messy. I took a deep breath and walked out into the kitchen.
“Hey, honey! Are you feeling okay? You look a little pale” My mother said looking at me worried.
“Yeah I am just not feeling well, I think I am going to skip out on dinner,” I said to her. I went to my bedroom and my shaking hands reached for my phone. I dialed Ashley’s number and waited for her to pick up.
“So what is the news?” she asked me and I felt tears start to fall down my face.
“Well, I don’t have the stomach bug,” I said, starting to cry a little harder.
“Oh Lil, I am so sorry. Do you want me to come over?” she asked me, and I could feel her concern over the phone.
“No, my mom thinks I am just sick. I will see you tomorrow in school,” I said to her and hung up. I laid on my bed and cried myself to sleep.
I woke up the next morning and felt nausea hitting me hard. I took a small sip of water and got dressed in leggings and a light pink sweater. My jeans had stopped fitting me this weekend and the October air was starting to make everything chilly.
My mother had left me a note saying she had to leave for her shift at the hospital, so I grabbed some saltines and a water bottle and made my way outside where Ash was already waiting for me.
She gave me a big hug and then drove us to school.
“When are you going to tell your mother?” She asked me as we walked to our lockers.
“Are you kidding me? If she found out she would kill me! Besides, I still haven’t figured
out what I want to do with it yet” I said as I put my books in the locker and grabbed my stuff for science class.
“Well, you should probably figure it out soon” She said to me, giving me a look. I felt like I was stuck in some horrible nightmare.
“Can we please not talk about it. I need time to think” I said snapping instantly cringing at how harsh my voice sounded.
“Okay, we don’t have to talk about your options. But are you going to tell me who the baby’s father is?” She said, crossing her arms, her brown eyes glaring at me. I told her I thought I was pregnant a week ago but didn’t want to admit who the father was.
“I doubt he would even care,” I said looking over as coincidently Liam and the school’s slut Sara walked by us to stop at his locker which was convenient across from mine.
I watched as they had some sort of argument and she slammed his locker shut and strutted away. He turned around and caught my eye and he gave me a smirk as he walked away.
“Oh no please do not tell me it was him” I heard Ash say and it brought me out of my trance.
“It was who?” I said, turning my attention to my locker trying to avoid the question. She grabbed my shoulder, her blonde ponytail swinging as she gave me a stern look.
“Please do not tell me you lost your virginity to Liam,” She said, hoping for me to deny her accusation. Instead, I stayed silent not wanting to lie to my best friend.
“You are so screwed,” she said to me and I smacked her shoulder.
“Thanks for the support,” I said and she gave me a look. Before she could reply the bell rang and I started to make my way to science. She gave me a look telling me that I was not off the hook and she went to English.
I thanked the lords that Liam was a year older than me, so we had no classes together besides gym, which luckily I also had with Ashley and another one of my friends Bri. Bri had bright red curly hair which was a nice contrast to my brown hair, and Ashley’s blonde. We had always been inseparable and have known each other for a couple of years. The only other class besides gym that we had together was Lunch. I walked to the table where Ashley and Bri were already waiting for me. I grabbed my saltines and started to nibble on them praying to keep at least one down.
“Any news?” Bri asked.
“It was positive,” I said. She looked shocked but quickly covered it. Bri had a feisty personality and was very protective of her friends. Ash was the popular one who was liked by everyone and I was the shy one. We all had opposite personalities which worked for our friendship.
“Also man whore is the baby daddy,” Ash said, her mouth full of food. I threw a cracker at her.
“Do you have to say that so loud?” I said looking around hoping no one was paying us any attention.
“Liam? Way to go Lil,” Bri said holding her hand up for a high five which I made sure to ignore.
“Let’s drop this topic now?” I said my cheeks were fully red. We talked about our weekend plans and before we knew it lunch was over.
Finally, I had made it through the day and it was time for gym which was my last period class.
I went into the changing room and I just took off my sweater and kept on my leggings and threw on a T-shirt. We went into the gym and I noticed we were playing volleyball. I started to get nervous knowing that this was probably not the best sport to be playing while pregnant.
“This probably isn’t the best idea,” Bri said to me.
“It’s either I play or tell the coach what the problem is. I would rather avoid that for now” I said. They both looked at me in concern but I tried to push those negative feelings away.
I looked around the gym and felt some of my anxiety go away noticing that Liam had skipped this class. We were assigned our positions and we all started to play. I had made it almost the entire period without the ball even coming near me and I was not as nervous anymore.
The last game of the class was about to start when I heard Coach Hayne call out to someone.
“Nice of you to join us Jaxon,” he said and I looked over and saw Liam and his best friend Dax walking in the room. Liam called out.
“Better late than never!” He then went over and sat on the benches. I felt my face get red and became more nervous. Bri was on my team, and she gave me a reassuring look. I looked over at Liam and caught him staring at me. I was so distracted I didn’t see the ball aiming right at me.
I felt it hit my head and was immediately thrown back from the impact. I felt dizzy and my head hurt, my vision started to blur. As I came too I heard Bri yelling at Ryan the football player in my gym class.
“She is pregnant you asshole!” She finally screamed and I looked over and saw her gasp and cover her mouth. Everyone looked at me in shock. I felt even dizzier by that one statement. I felt Ashley help me up and she helped me to the nurse’s room with Bri following behind.
“I am so sorry. I was so mad that I couldn’t help it” Bri said, apologizing over and over again.
“It is okay Bri I am not mad, I know it was just an accident,” I said, giving her a small smile trying to reassure her.
Ashley said there was no point in going to the nurse because I needed to make sure the baby was alright so we went straight to her car. I was begging for them to let me go home but they forced me to go to the only hospital in town, one which happened to be where my mother works.
We arrived and they checked me in, and as I was waiting, my mother walked by.
“What happened?” She said looking at my red face from the impact of the volleyball.
“I got hit by a ball in class, it’s no big deal,” I said, hoping she would leave me alone.
“Ms. Lane she went unconscious for a few seconds,” Bri said and my mother ushered me to a room.
She did a concussion test on me and said I seemed alright. She then got called to a case when the doctor arrived, who was none other than Liam’s foster dad and I wish I could have died then and there.
“I will be right back baby,” she said, kissing me on the forehead. As she left Dr.Jaxon read my chart and said I seemed okay.
“This isn’t the only reason I came here today” I finally admitted and He sat down. I felt my heart start to race, knowing this test would show me my faith.
“What is it? You can let me know, “ he said and I hesitated.
“I don’t want my mother to find out,” I said, knowing they worked closely together.
“Everything we talk about will be 100% confidential,” He said to me and I sighed.
“I think I am pregnant,” I said and he looked at me for a second and then said,
“About how far along?” I did the math in my head and answered,
“Three months,” I said, closing my eyes wishing I could die from embarrassment.
“Let me grab the ultrasound machine and take a look to make sure the baby is okay after that fall,” He said and he left the room and a few minutes later returned with a machine. He put gel on my stomach and started to give me an ultrasound.
He stopped and I saw a little bean pull up on the screen.
“That is your baby. It seems to be about three months like you said” he said and I felt myself tear up.
“We can discuss all of your options if you would like. I know you are only 16 years old. Is the baby’s father part of your life?” Dr. Jaxon said, sitting down.
I wanted to say ‘no your sex addicted son is not part of my life, nor was he ever planning on being part of my life’ but instead I replied.
“No, he is not”
“Well, I think it would be best to talk about this with your mother to figure out which option would be the best for you. You still have time to decide but abortion is still a viable option if you decide you are not ready to have a baby. There is also an amazing adoption clinic in this hospital, and there are programs in place for teen moms if you decide to keep the baby” He said handing me pamphlets on all of the different options. I thank him and put the brochures in my bag.
I walk out and Ashley and Bri pull me into a group hug. We walk to their car and I tell them about what I had seen on the ultrasound. Seeing the little baby growing inside me had changed me. I was growing a human inside me. However I was too young to be a mom, and I would rather get an abortion and forget this ever happened than have to tell and disappoint my mom.
“I need to get an abortion” I finally said and the girls started to fight.
“You can’t get an abortion there is a human life growing inside you” Ash started and Bri cut her off.
“It is her decision, she is 16 years old if she isn’t ready to have a baby she isn’t ready,” Bri said back.
“There is adoption. I am sure someone would love to be given the opportunity to have a healthy baby” Ash fought back.
“Maybe she doesn’t want to have a baby at all,” Bri said.
“You guys enough! It is my life and my choice, and I am choosing that I am not ready to have a baby” I said. Ash looked at me stunned, and then she looked forward avoiding my look. I started to feel guilty but I got out of the car and went inside. I ate some dinner, took a shower and went to bed.