I went on a walk
and saw gorgeous flowers that
made me think of you.
There is a poem about the beauty of flowers, and swaying willow trees, and the small white ruffles of your dress as it blows in the wind. I read this poem to you a while ago, but I don’t think you paid any mind to it. It makes sense considering that I was also caught up, but my distraction from your soft humming as you picked at a dandelion and broke it apart to watch the fluff float away in the autumn breeze.
I didn’t want to disturb your peace. That was never my intention. But as you met my gaze for the first time in what felt like an hour, I knew that I had had to have you. Whether that be as a friend or something more. I saw something in your green eyes that I didn’t see in anyone except for my own: wonder. I knew that you were the one person who could make my life whole again. I looked away before you noticed that I was blushing.
After the incident, I thought I would follow the wind until I got whisked away by the light, but you got caught in my path and for that I can’t be more grateful. You haven’t asked about it yet. I’m quite surprised as most people like to pry and try to find something worth gossiping over. Not you. I know how you are and I know that you would never do that to me.
I was sitting against the tree on the checkered blanket that you had brought with us. My heart almost stopped when you looked back up at me with a small smile from the edge of the blanket. You blew the dandelion at me lightly, laughing at my reaction. I went to grab more dandelions for revenge but then realized that all of them were gone, all of them broken apart already and the remains thrown a few feet away. You thought ahead for this. The more I thought about a way to get you back, the only things I could come up with was holding you in my arms, kissing you, inhaling the lavender scent of your shampoo.
You frowned when I didn’t do anything. I’m sure that you wanted me to retaliate, create a tension between us, one that could be used later on in the evening. I looked up at you with a grin. The grin that I practiced in the mirror every day. The one that would hopefully intrigue you to the point of leaning closer. You slowly did, but not for the reason I was thinking. You grabbed an eyelash off of my cheekbone, your soft fingers lightly caressing my face.
Your light brown wavy hair tickled my face when you didn’t move away. I thought that was going to be the moment that I’ve been waiting for since I laid eyes on your beauty. Then my phone rang. I looked to see who it was and it wasn’t even important, but by the time it stopped ringing, you were seated at the other side of the blanket again. I could no longer feel your soft fingers lightly caressing my face or your light brown wavy hair tickling my face. I could no longer think about your body so close to mine, only the defeated face that you seemed to be wearing with another disappointed frown.
How was I supposed to recover from that? I didn’t know, and it seemed like you didn’t either. We awkwardly glanced at each other for a while, looking away when the other would notice. One of us had to say something to relieve us of this discomfort. So I did.
“So the weather’s pretty good, right?”
As soon as it left my mouth I had regretted saying it. We have been sitting beside each other for over two hours on one of the nicest days of the season and I used a dull conversation starter to break the awkward tension. I was about to start my inner scolding but you interrupted with an angelic laugh that was so distinctly you. This is why I need you. You save me from myself, from the voice in my head that tells me to do things that someone else would consider heinous, from the voice that made me do what I did.
We were okay after your chuckle. You saved the moment. You cut the bad tension between us and replaced it with the better kind that we were experiencing earlier.
It was getting dark so I suggested that you walk me back to my apartment. You agreed, and so we collected the blanket and made way to the end of the night. We spoke about random things, previous experiences that had us laughing at one another for the entire way.
We got to my stop, our conversation slowly dwindling. I didn't know what you wanted me to do. I was confused on whether I go in with a kiss, or a hug, or even a handshake. I thought that I could read the room better, but it seemed that my skill stopped working when I needed it the most. You made the decision for me. You kissed me on the cheek and walked away without a look back or a facial expression that showed regret. In fact, you were smiling. Your silhouette was illuminated by the street lights, your white ruffled dress swaying as you walked away, turning into a white dot on the sidewalk.
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