“Kai...what are you doing!?”
Rose asked sounding shocked by my actions, though even I was surprised by what I was doing. But I just felt like I needed to hug her before I say anything else, Rose and I left in complicated terms when she was last here in Korea. But now that she’s here, I wish to start over with her...
“I’m sorry...for making you cry last time.” I voiced out in deep sorrow as I held her more closely.
“It’s okay...you already apologized-”
“I want to appropriately apologize this time, I know we’ve talked on the phone a bit when you were overseas. But when you stopped responding to my texts, I thought you probably hated me. So I was relieved when you explained why you weren’t replying... ”
As I said that, I felt Rose place her hand in my arm, it was comforting as she rested the back of her head against my chest. Leaning my forehead close to her’s, I was able to smell the sweet scent of her shampoo again...
“Well, if we’re gonna appropriately apologize...then I’m sorry too for the things I’ve said. I’m also sorry for hitting you down there...I was just really panicked when I saw you again. It’s strange but I tend to forget you’re a famous singer. That your so popular and known worldwide almost, so I never would have thought I would ever kick a celebrity.”
She said in a light chuckle, removing my arms I took a few steps back and waited for her to turn around.
“I don’t need an apology, I deserved it. You might find this hard to believe, but I don’t like to consider myself famous...ExEx Idol is what’s famous, not me. You have the world looking at me and my group of what we do and say. We had to paint this false image of being almost perfect, just take a look at your contract if you need an example of what I’m saying.”
I said to her as she faced me with a concerned look, she then gazed her eyes at the table that had the contracts waiting for her to sign as she made her way towards them. And as she began to read over the papers, her expression changed to someone looking completely shocked...
“Are you serious, you...all of you members have to remain single for 7 years?! That’s ridiculous, you’ll be 30 by then- wait, what!? You can’t talk to the opposite sex unless their staff or family?! You can’t change your hairstyle either without the companies permission. You must be in contact with manager Sang every day?! These rules are way too strict- huh! There are more rules in the back of this page!?” She said in disbelief as she kept looking through the contract...
“What your reading is just the rules, that’s not even the worst part. Manager Sang also goes through my phone and the other members as well to make sure we’re not doing anything scandalous. We’re also not allowed to have our own personal social media accounts. It must be shared and approved within the company if we post any pictures of ourselves. But that isn’t what I wanted you to read, what your reading is the rules that must be respected in the company. Here...I want you to read what it says about me.”
I began to explain as I took the paper away from her hands, but while I was trying to look for the page I wanted her to see. She sank herself on the floor with a pale look on her face!
“Rose! Are you okay!? What’s wrong?!” I asked her worriedly as I crouch down next to her.
“What are we gonna do? We’ve been texting each other these last few days. I’ve even been texting Jin! I know I’m part of staff now, but this was before-”
“Don’t worry about that, Jin, Zack, and I have a security lock on our messages. Without the password, no one can read them. It’s a pretty cool setting that one of the staff members showed me a few years ago. So our manager could only see the messages I want him to see.”
I quickly explained to her as I handed back the papers. I couldn’t help but smile at the fact of how worried she became for me.
“Oh... okay, that’s good. For a second I thought you’ll get in trouble and that manager Sang wouldn’t want me to work here anymore. And is this what you wanted me to read? Kai Joong, age 23. Favorite color is gray, likes taking morning walks, has a sweet tooth. Likes puppies more than cats, very outgoing. Enjoys photography-”
“Okay, that’s enough reading....”
I said to her as I help her get back up on her feet.
“Uhh, is this like some kind of biography of yourself and what you like?”
She asked looking at me confused. Giving her a smirk, I chuckled in a peal of joking laughter...
“It’s more like a scripted character I have to play the role of being...I don’t like gray, my favorite color is white. I don’t take morning walks, I sleep in if I can. Nor am I outgoing, I only ever go out to the public eye when I need to, so it’s not by choice. I rarely ever eat sweets and I would much rather stay home and find things I enjoy doing. The same applies to Jin and Zack, they’re told on what they should look and act like.”
Once I finished explaining, her eyes never left mine. Though her expression changed as if she was looking at someone she felt sorry for.
“Don’t look at me like that...”
“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to. I just...I had no idea your lives are practically controlled. I...I don’t understand why anybody would want to go through with this. It’s like you’re not being true to yourself.”
She said with sadness in her voice as she looked down at the papers she was still holding. I honestly don’t know what made me do this, but I carefully cupped both her cheeks and had her look at me, her expression never changed though...
“The reason why I let my life be controlled...is because I get to share the music I create. That’s the only thing that’s been keeping me sane...it’s what I’m always thinking about. To express how I feel to the world and myself, in hopes that my words can reach anyone who needs it. The passion for making music, it’s what I worked hard in creating. It’s strange though... because ever since I met you, you’ve also been on my mind. And I don’t know why...am I crazy for thinking that?”
“I don’t think you’re crazy, I think you just find a lot of passion for what you do. And not many people can do that...and maybe the reason why your thinking about me, might be because I’m probably the first girl that’s ever done something crazy, for example, waking up in your bed. Which I still can’t believe that happened...”
She responded in a giggle while tilting her head to the side a bit. Her words touched me and before I knew it I was smiling along with her. But who knows, maybe that is the reason why I’ve been thinking about her?
Within the hours that passed, I helped her unpack and organize her room. I’m relieved that she had all her boxes labeled, it made things a lot easier for me. But something caught my eye while I was pulling things out of their packages. Grabbing a picture frame, I saw that it was an image of Rose’s family, I assumed. Rose was wearing a graduation cap and gown, was this when she graduated from beauty school?
“Rose, is this your family?”
I asked her while Rose was busy placing her pillows on the bed.
“Huh? Oh! Yeah, that’s my parents and my little sister. Samantha, she’s a lot taller than me as you can see. But she’s still in high school, you can probably guess where she got her beauty looks from. Most people never think we’re related since I look more like my Dad...”
She said in a bittersweet tone as she came towards me. I have to admit, her sister is pretty. But so is she, if anything...I think Rose is beautiful- Wait! what am I thinking right now!?
“Her name is Samantha, she’s a huge fan of yours by the way. But that’s putting it mildly, I think I told you before why I went to your concert that day in America. She begged and cried for our parents to give her the okay in going, eventually, they said yes once I convinced them. So that’s how I ended up being the babysitter, Sam has always gotten her way even when we were kids. She was always spoiled, if not by my parents then by her boyfriend’s. But I think those are just the perks of looking beautiful like her.”
She continued to speak about her sister as if she envied her appearance, as she took the picture frame away from my hands, she placed it by her nightstand. Even though she was smiling, her eyes showed a different kind of emotion.
“Your sister may look pretty in your eyes, but in my eyes, I see you just as beautiful...”
Rose quickly turned herself around to look at me and she immediately blushed as her eyes widen in surprise. At first, I was confused by her reaction, but then I realized I may have said too much! So I tried and hurried to change the subject, but I couldn’t think of what to say next! I’ve always been honest with my words and I tend to have a habit of speaking how I feel. Years of a habit of being a singer that expresses one’s self...
“Thank you...you’re the first guy besides my Dad to tell me that-”
“What!? There’s no way, I don’t believe you...I’m sure you had guys or a past boyfriend that’s at least complimented you before.”
I asked her with disbelief in my voice, I honestly couldn’t believe what I was hearing since I had many people compliment me on my appearance. So I’ve grown used to it, but hearing Rose say this is a first for her- wait! She mentioned before that I was her first kiss also. Does she not have any experience with men around her?! Perhaps that’s why she blushes so much and why I get so easily flustered when I’m around her. But then again, I don’t have much experience with women either. Except for Lily, but that was a long time ago...
“I never had a boyfriend, my Dad was always strict on me and my sister with that. Though my sister still found a way to date secretly behind our father’s back. But usually the guys I always liked, never seemed to like me so...I decided to just focus on my schoolwork.”
Once she finished explaining, I took a moment to process it all. This is the first time I’m hearing an adult woman say she’s never dated anyone before! In this day in age, I find that almost hard to believe, but I know when Rose is telling the truth or not. She tends to avoid making eye contact with anyone if she isn’t telling the truth.
“Well...I guess we’re the same, I’ve never been in a relationship either. Even before I joined ExEx Idol, I never thought about having a girlfriend. And...you...uhh...you were...”
Damnit! I don’t know if I should tell her, she’ll probably laugh at me. No, maybe it’s best if I don’t say anything-
She asked with curiosity as she stepped closer towards me. Looking down at her small petite body frame, she looks so easy to pick up in my arms. I’m certain I lifted weights heavier than her- Nope! Kai what are you doing!? Now isn’t the time to be imagining stuff like that!
“Rose, would you think I’m lying if I told you...you were the first person I ever kissed.”
Expecting her to tease me, I waited for the long pause between us to fade away until she finally spoke.
“If you would have told me this months ago, I would have laughed and never believed you. But now, I think differently... Unfortunately, our first kiss was taken away, we were nothing but strangers back then. Even now, I’m still trying to understand you better...”
“I think if you read more of the contracts forms, you’ll get a gist of what you want to know about me-”
“No, I don’t wanna get to know you by reading a stupid piece of paper. I just...I like talking to you, despite how reckless you are with your words and actions. I still wanna try and get along with you, especially now since I’ll be working with the company.”
She explained so sternly to me as she walked away to push the last few boxes in her closet...
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, it’s like every time she says something. It pulls me into wanting to get to know her better. And whenever she gets close to me, my chest still tightens and I find it nerve-wracking for me to think straight! This is so frustrating! Even when she mentioned the kiss earlier, I get it that it wasn’t the most ideal kiss. But having her call it unfortunate just really pisses me off for some reason! She did say she hated it also when we last spoke of it. I know that it’s all my fault, I was drunk and I don’t remember half of what I did but...I need to find a way to fix this. So I’ll just change that...here and now...
“Hey, Kai. I think you should call Myung before it gets late. Thank you for helping me unpack earlier, I appreciate it. But I don’t want you to get in trouble with manager Sang. I’ll just finish unpacking the rest tomorrow- huh!? Kai...what are you doing?”
She questions my actions the moment I approached her from behind, she was quick in turning herself around to face me.
Backing her up against the closet door, she didn’t know what to do with her hands other than placing them on my chest. I could tell she was hesitating in pushing me off, but the feeling of her arms was trembling a bit as I pressed myself closer to her. Bringing my head down to her eye level, she kept staring at me with such an adorable expression. How can she be this way when she tries to act like an adult around others, she’s too cute when she gets this shy...
“Rose...close your eyes.”
Whispering close to her ear, she tensed up at first but then I was able to feel how calm she became not too long afterward. Shyly looking at me, she slowly closed her eyes. And the moment she did, I immediately pressed my kiss against her’s...
Her soft rosy lips felt warm and plump as I placed one of my hands behind her neck, pulling her more closely to me. I kept looking at her flushed face that only made me want to kiss her more. Her reaction is just too adorable for me to stop, her hands that were once placed against my chest were now gripping my shirt tightly. Pulling me more forward towards her, the tenderness of her soft sweet skin was sensual as I placed my other hand against her cheek. The sounds of our kiss grew more intense as our heavy muffled breathing was the only thing we could hear. I wasn’t able to resist myself any longer as I stuck my tongue into her mouth and that’s when I was able to hear a little cute moan coming from her throat! She tasted so sweet that even I ended up closing my eyes and drowned myself in her scent. The feeling of her knees was growing weak that I quickly wrapped my arm around her waist and held her in place as I refused to let go of her lips. If I’m going to give Rose an actual first kiss, I’ll make sure it’s a kiss that will both never forget...
Hearing Rose moan out my name brought me back to my senses as I finally pulled myself away from her. With both of us out of breath, I rested my head against her shoulder and tried to compose myself before I could even look at her face. I’m certain my face is red right now, so I need a second to get myself together...
“This...will count as our first kiss...”
I whispered out breathlessly, slowly raising my head I placed my forehead against hers as she stared at me so vulnerably. I need to hurry and leave before I do anything else she might hate me for.
Rose didn’t say a word as I began to walk away from her, it’s obvious that she wasn’t expecting that to happen. But I wanted to leave without making things awkward between us. So I tried to act calm and thought of something I could bring up. That’s when I suddenly remembered about our last conversation I had with Rose a while back about her necklace. Opening the front door, I turned around and grabbed the necklace I was still wearing. Rose’s eyes followed me as she remained still where she was standing at...“If you want your heart back, make sure you bring the key tomorrow...”
And once I said that I closed the door behind me and leaned myself back against a wall. I’m still surprised by my actions of what I did, but I don’t feel bad for doing it. If anything, it felt like the right thing to do. But my heart is still beating heavy, I need to make sure I take my pills before I go to bed tonight. Running my hand through my hair, I felt very hot as I began to unbutton my shirt a bit before leaving Rose’s apartment. Hopefully, she and I could leave personal and business life separate starting tomorrow...