"Hey daddy, how did you meet mommy?”
“Mommy and I met at a park, remember? It’s the park we take you and your baby sister at-”
“Oh yeah! I remember now, but...how did you love mommy?”
“Little Mel, love isn’t something you do willingly. It’s something that just happens naturally, you might be a bit too young to understand still. But know that loving someone can be very special and if someone loves you in return. It can be such a beautiful feeling-”
“Like, you! You love me and I love you!”
“That’s right, daddy loves you and Samantha very much...”
I remember having this conversation with my father when I was 9 years old, I was a child. However, as I grew older. I understood that there were different types of love, the love for your family and friends. But I was never able to understand or experience the feeling of actually falling in love with someone...or maybe, I have but I’ve yet to notice it. Is being in love really a beautiful feeling like my father said?
As I laid myself restlessly on something soft, I caught wind of something sweet filling the air. The smell of butter along with the sounds of something crisp echoed throughout the room, but what is it? Oh! That’s right, I spent the night at Jin’s place... never would have expected to have such a deep and emotional discussion with him about his mother. It was so hard seeing him break down like that, witnessing him cry for the first time truly showed how broken he is. Though the world sees him so calm and always smiling... if only his fans knew how he really was. But then again, perhaps he doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s going through...
As I tried to move my body, I was unable to do so as I suddenly felt the weight of someone on top of me! Quickly opening my eyes, I stared down and saw that it was Jin who was sleeping on top of me! What the hell! How did he, why are we- with my mind running back to that night of us talking, I had a recollection of how we ended up like this! I guess all that crying put us both to sleep in the end. Even my arms are still wrapped around him, I’m just relieved that he isn’t awake! With his head resting on my chest I was able to feel his light breathing as he snuggled himself into me more! At first, I was a bit nervous, but I knew that Jin wasn’t doing this on purpose...
So I slowly tried to scoot myself out, but I knew it’s wasn’t going to be easy. Jin’s body is way bigger than mine along with his weight. It seemed almost impossible to get out of his grip that he had around my waist! Does he think I’m a pillow or something? I then took a minute to look over at him and saw how puffy his eyes were, they must be a bit swollen from crying last night. Hell, I’m sure my eyes are swollen as well. Though I couldn’t help but smile at how much Jin trust’s me, so without thinking, I subconsciously ran my fingers through his soft blonde hair...
“Good morning, I hope I didn’t wake you. I haven’t made pancakes in a while so I’m not sure how they’ll come out...”
Being completely off guard, I jolted my body a bit when I heard the voice of someone speaking to me! Averting my eyes, I looked over towards the direction of the kitchen and saw that it was Jin’s mom! I didn’t think she would be awake, wait...what time is it?! Quickly looking at the clock in the living room I saw that it was about to be 8 in the morning. Okay, so it’s still early. But I was hoping in leaving before Jin or his mom woke up! This is completely embarrassing! Now I kinda wish I could have brought his mother something, like flowers if I knew we were gonna meet officially like this!
My words were practically stuck in my throat, what am I suppose to say at this moment!?
“It’s been so long since my son has brought a girl over...I was beginning to get worried that he was choosing to be alone on purpose. I’ve practically been begging for him to find a girlfriend, I know that his contract with the company forbids him from dating anyone. But I don’t think it’s right, I think my son along with Kai and Zack deserve to be happy.” She explained in a sorrowful smile as she looked over at me and then at Jin.
I shouldn’t be surprised by her words, of course, she’ll assume I’m Jin’s girlfriend. I mean... we’re both cuddling up to each other on the couch. But I don’t wanna make her mother worry or stress, so I’ll just play along for a bit...
“I agree...I think it should be okay if the boys wanted to date. Though I think Jin should choose a much prettier girl than someone like me. I’m sure if he wanted to, he could date anyone he wants...” I responded to her comment.
“You should have more confidence, there’s a good reason why my son is with you. In fact, why don’t you ask him yourself...”
She said in a light chuckle as she gestured her head. Following her gaze, I looked down and saw that Jin was awake! His eyes were solely focused on me, he seemed surprised just as I was with how close we were!“Jin! How long were you awake!? ” I asked him with exaggeration, pulling my hands away from his hair I looked away from his intense stare!
“I...I just woke up. I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was laying on you. I wasn’t heavy, was I?” He quickly apologized in concern as he hurried in getting up.
“You both were sleeping so comfortably that I didn’t want to wake you to-”
“Mom, what are you doing up?! What are you- you shouldn’t be cooking! The doctor strictly told us that you shouldn’t be doing anything that will strain your body.” Jin quickly voiced out in panic as he approached her!
“Oh shush! Flipping pancakes won’t tire me out. Which by the way, the nurse came by a few hours ago to check up on things. I had her remove the IV before she left, so I should be okay for the next few days. Now hurry up and go wash your face, I made breakfast for us.”
She explained in a stern tone as she gently smacked Jin’s shoulder. He then awkwardly looked over at me before he left for the restroom. And once he was out of sight I immediately got up from the couch and made my way towards the kitchen.
“I’m sorry...” I quickly apologized as I took a deep bow.
“Huh? What are sorry for?” She questions me with a confused look.
“I...I just feel I’m intruding-”
“Of course you’re not intruding, didn’t you hear what I said earlier? I’m very happy that Jin brought you here, though...may you please tell me your name,” She asked of me.
“Oh my god! I haven’t told you my name yet have I!? Forgive my rudeness, it’s Melissa Rose Lee. But everyone calls me MelRose, it’s very nice to meet you.” I said to her while raising my head.
“That’s a very beautiful name... MelRose. How long, have you and my son been dating?”
She asked of me while setting the table. So I immediately began to help her as I grew a bit flustered from the face.
“Uhh, Jin and I-”
My words grew silent once Jin’s mom and I suddenly heard a loud banging on the door!
“Huh? I wonder who that could be?” I heard her asked before making her way towards the door.
My tense shoulders dropped as I felt relieved dodging the question, so as I helped finished setting the plates down on the table. I reached for my bag that was on the counter and began searching for my phone. Once I found it, I remember that Jin told me that he had turned it off last night. But before I could even switch it back on, my ears picked up a familiar voice that Jin’s mom was talking to. But there’s no way that it could be him, can it?!
“Hey, you can use the restroom if you need to wash up- where did my mother go?”
Hearing Jin coming up from behind me, I turned myself towards his direction and saw that he had changed out of his clothes. The very tips of his hair were slightly wet and I knew that he had finished washing his face. But his eyes weren’t set on me anymore, his intense gaze was staring dangerously at someone... following his eyes, I averted my sights on the person standing in front of us.
“Kai?! What are you doing here?”
I voiced out at him with confusion. And although he didn’t speak, his whole body language had plenty to say.
“Jin, why didn’t you tell me Kai was coming? Will Zack be joining us? I hope I made enough pancakes for everyone-”
“It’s okay Miss. Pak. I didn’t tell your son that I was dropping by, I’m glad to see that you’re doing well today. And Zack won’t be coming...”
Kai calmly explained with a respectable smile. Though his eye still held a different meaning from how he sounded...
“Oh, that’s too bad. It’s been so long since I saw all you boys together. Well, maybe next time we could invite Zack. Now please take a seat, we were about to eat breakfast. MelRose, can you please grab another plate. Jin, please help her. I’m not sure if your girlfriend will be able to reach the cabinet.”
She said to us, and the expression on Kai’s face grew almost pale. As if he was shocked at what he just heard! I honestly wish I could just bury myself in a hole right now!
“Girlfriend? Jin...since when did you start dating MelRose?”
He asked as I made my way towards the kitchen. His words were cold and so intimidating that I didn’t want to make eye contact with him.
“Oh, do you two happen to know each other as well?” Jin’s mom questions us as she took a seat.
“Mother, MelRose is actually my makeup artist at the company,” Jin explained in such a relaxed tone as he helped me grab a dish, he then went ahead and reached for the plate full of pancakes and brought them over to the table.
“Oh my goodness, is that true? That’s incredible, I would have never guessed...”
Jin’s mom reacted in amazement as she began to serve everyone once I placed Kai’s plate in front of him.
He then immediately pulled the chair next to where he was sitting and gestured at me to take a seat! I wanted to decline but Jin had already taken a seat next to his mother, and since there were only 4 chairs at the table. There wasn’t really any other option for me, so I awkwardly took my seat...I felt like I was getting in trouble with how Kai kept staring at me. Like when a teenager breaks curfew and comes home late. But I’m a grown-ass woman and yet I’m feeling so guilty! What the hell is wrong with me!? I won’t let Kai make me feel this way, he’s nothing to me and-
“Have you both kissed yet?” Kai bluntly asked as he took a bite of his pancakes.
“What! Of course not!”
I quickly answered him! Though my actions caught me off guard along with everyone else at the table. Though of course only Kai could be heard giggling a bit with that devil-like smirk of his!
The whole time after that, I decided to stay quiet and just eat my breakfast. I think I’ve already embarrassed myself enough, I’m sure Jin caught notice of that as he had his mother focus on how he’s been doing with the group. But every now and then, I would steal a glance at Kai who would also look over at me. This was just making me feel really uncomfortable, I don’t remember half the shit I did last night after I drank. Then passing out in tears with Jin, and to top it off his mother now thinks I’m dating his son. And what’s worse is that Kai is here making the situation more complicated for me...
“Thank you so much for the meal, but I think I should get going now,” I said to everyone as I stood up from the table.
“Oh, you’re leaving already. I wish you could stay a bit more, Jin sweetie, why don’t you drive her home-”
“No, that’s okay. I’ma be heading out as well, so I could drop her off.” Kai immediately explained to Jin’s mother as he stood up to bow as well.
“I think it’s best if I drive her there-”
“Jin, you shouldn’t risk being seen with her. Besides, you spend time with your mother...don’t you agree, Rose?” Kai asked me next as he raised his head back up to look at Jin...
I knew that Kai was upset and just wanted to talk to me, but I had to agree with what he said. I think it’s best if Jin stays by her side, he should take advantage of the time he has with her. I don’t want to get in the way of that, so I shook my head in agreement. Though Jin seemed a bit sad by my response as he nodded with understanding. So with Jin and his mother walking us out, we all said our goodbyes until Kai and I began to walk down the hall towards the elevator.
And again, it felt like I was doing the walk of shame, Kai wasn’t saying anything as he placed his face mask back on. We both then on cue pushed the button on the wall, with his finger being placed on top of mine. I shifted my finger away and hurried through the elevator doors once they opened. With the beating of my heart growing nervous, I grew anxious and just wanted to leave as quickly as I could. But just as I was about to press the lobby button, Kai grabbed my hand and pushed the parking lot floor!
“What are you doing!?”
I asked trying to sound annoyed with him, yanking my hand free I backed myself against the wall. I wanted as much space from him as possible, since Kai always seems to get close to me I want to put some distance between us...
“You really don’t think, do you? Clearly, Jin didn’t tell you what kind of apartment complex this is. A majority of the people that live here are either famous actors, singers, and or models. It’s rare for any one of them to walk through the front door, it’s practically always swarmed by either paparazzi or obsessed fans. So it’s obvious that they’ll take the back gate of the parking lot, it’s the only place where they can leave their homes in peace-”
“Yeah well, I don’t live here so I have nothing to worry about-”
“As I said earlier, that brain of yours just doesn’t think. If anyone sees you leave this apartment, it will be worse for you. Especially since you don’t have a face mask on. Do you have any idea what the media will say about seeing a random girl leave this place, the tabloids would spread horrible rumors about you. I won’t risk Jin being caught in a scandal because of his stupidity.”
He quickly explained to me in a frustrated sigh, he then wasted no time in grabbing my hand and had me follow him from behind as soon as the elevator doors re-opened.
I took what he said and really thought about it, and I felt stupid for thinking illogically. But most of all, I couldn’t help but feel sympathetic for these celebrities. They really can’t have any comfort anywhere, paying attention to where Kai was taking me I saw that we were approaching what looked like a very expensive vehicle. Is this possibly his car?! My question was soon answered once he opened my side of the door. Damit! I did it again, I let him get too close to me!
He demanded as he gestured his head for me to take a seat.
Giving him an angry pout, I couldn’t really say no to him since walking out the front door of this building wasn’t a good idea to do. I’m sure I can’t just walk out of the back building without some sort of key like Jin had last night when he brought us in here. So as I did what I was told, he closed my door before entering the driver’s side. Putting my seat belt on I did my best in ignoring him once he began to drive us out of the parking lot. I then remembered that I didn’t turn on my phone yet, so as I went to do that, I paid little attention to where Kai was taking us...
“Who are you calling?” He asked with an aggravated tone.
“It’s none of your business what I’m doing-”
“Yes, it is when I up late last night wondering where the hell Jin took you last night! Do you have any idea how many time I called you and Jin, you both ended up turning off your phones didn’t you-”
“Why the hell do you even care? I was fine, Jin took care of me and I didn’t even get the chance to thank him, so I need to text him-”
“Did you both do anything last night-”
“Kai! Just shut up! Do you really think that Jin and I would do anything?! Just fucking leave me alone! Why did you even come? Why aren’t you with Lily?! I thought you loved her!? You both looked so lovey-dovey yesterday, so why are you wasting your time-”
With Kai slamming on the breaks, I cut my words short as I almost hit my head on the dashboard! Thank God I had my seat belt on, but as I looked forward I saw that we’ve come to a red light. But that doesn’t excuse Kai hitting on the breaks so harshly! I was just about ready to punch him in the face, but I stopped myself once I saw the broken expression he was giving. Even with his face mask on, his eyes looked completely hollowed with pain and grief.
“I’m only going to say this once...you know nothing of what Lily and I went through in the past. So don’t speak of her so easily as if you know her...”
his voice sounded so serious that I wasn’t able to speak any further. His words were like knives being plunged through my heart and I felt almost suffocated to the core. It took almost all the strength I had to not cry in front of him, so I averted my eyes away and looked out the window as he began to drive again. It may be true that I don’t know what happened to them in the past, but Kai is being selfish with my feelings!
I said to him with sadness in my voice as I clutched on to my phone so very tightly.
“Yeah...I am.” He responded sounding broken.