Our Secret Melody

All Rights Reserved ©

Lyric: Forty-Four

Melrose POV:

After reading the text that Kai had sent me, I made to sure quickly respond so Jin wouldn’t notice. But after I pressed send, Jin had instantly snuggled himself deeper onto my legs! The last thing I expected him to do was to have me be his pillow. But it’s only for a little while, Kai said that he’ll let me know when he returns. Though I wonder where he went-

“What are you thinking about?” Jin asked once I realized he was looking directly at me!

“Huh? Oh...just, a lot of things I guess...you know how much I tend to overthink things.” I said to him as I tried to cover his upper body with the sheets.

“Melrose...tell me, how were you when you were a child? Seeing how are you are now, I take you to be a shy little girl.” He explained in a light chuckle...

Giggling along with him, I was a little shocked that he was interested in wanting to know more about me. Though I don’t mind sharing my memories with him if it could help him take his mind off things...

“Actually, I was the complete opposite. In fact, my younger sister was the one who was the shyest and I was always the most obnoxious. But our roles began to switch the moment we started to get older, I noticed that the more I went to school. The quieter I became, always being nervous and shy talking with others. However, my sister had no issue when it came to socializing. And to be honest...when she began dating, I guess you can say my self-esteem went down since I never had a boyfriend...” I explained to him as I stared out the window.

For so long, my standards of living have always been just going to school and then working afterward. I never thought of anything else, going to football games, parties, or even dating. I don’t know why, but none of that interested me, the only thing I found passion in was doing makeup. It just always amazed me how many different types of looks you can do, and I never thought of doing makeup on a guy since I’ve always seen mostly women wearing it. But I’m glad Jin was my first, I wouldn’t ask for anyone else...

“What about now?” He asked in a soothing voice.

“Huh? What are you asking?”

I asked in confusion once I looked back down at him. But he gently smiled as he reached his tired-like hand towards me. Tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, he rested his fingers along my jawline before letting out a heavy sigh...

“Would you...want a boyfriend now? Is your heart... interested in someone?”

He faintly asked as his fingers moved ever so lightly against my neck. However, the tingling sensation sent shivers down my spine!

I was growing worried if Jin would see the hickeys that Kai had left on me! It’s not that I’m ashamed of having them, but I don’t want anyone to find out we’re together, especially, Jin. I don’t wanna worry him nor would I want him or Kai to argue more with one another. But it’s just so hard having to lie, I don’t wish to keep anything from Jin. But what would he do if I told him the truth? Would he be disappointed? I mean, just by the way Jin is staring at me right now...so restless and tired, the expression of someone so sad...

“I...I don’t know...maybe, I have grown interested in someone.” I said to him before he looked directly at my neck before shutting his eyes.

“I see...I wonder who the lucky guy is?”

He spoke in a broken voice before putting his hand back down. He then adjusted his head more comfortably on my lap before holding on to my hand more firmly...

“What about you? Is there someone you’re interested in?” I asked him in a quiet like voice as I saw how fluffy his blonde hair was.

“Hmm...I guess you can say I have, but I don’t think... she’s interested in me. Either way...it won’t change how I feel about her, she will always be special to my heart...no matter what.” He explained before drifting off to sleep.

Though what Jin said sounded very meaningful, he truly holds strong feelings for someone. Though I can’t help but feel anxious for some reason, so I tried to calm my breathing as I ran my fingers through Jin’s long hair. I can honestly say that I’ve grown attached to him, but it’s difficult to put into words what our relationship is? All I want...is to just be there for him, like he has for me...

“Jin...I’m sorry, I wish I could do more.” I whispered to him before carefully scooting myself off the bed.

Placing his head on an actual pillow, I made sure to not disturb him as he kept drifting deeper into his sleep.

This is what he needed, to finally rest and put his body at ease. Stretching out my hands, I looked over at the clock and saw that It was slowly starting to get late. I hope Kai won’t take too long being out, taking a seat next to Jin’s mother’s bed. I fixed her sheets so she wouldn’t be cold, however, in process of doing that. I had a moment of realization once I saw the number of machines she was attached to. She was relying on a respirator to help her breathe, the needle that was attached to her arm was connected to an IV bag and I knew that she was growing weaker day by day. Her fair skin was becoming paler and it was breaking my heart that Jin had to see his mother in this condition. I know Kai told me to prepare for the worst outcome, but I don’t think I can...

Placing my warm hand on top of her cold one, I closed my eyes and began to pray. That she will be okay, that she won’t be in pain anymore. And that Jin will be able to smile wholesome again. From the very beginning when I first met him, he was completely different from how he is now. He’s trying so hard, to be strong...but I could tell that he’s running out of strength.

“Do you believe that there is a God?” Following his voice, I was shocked to see that Jin had awakened so soon! It hasn’t even been an hour...

“Jin? Why are you awake? Try an go back to sleep-”

“I would pray to him every night, non-stop...but it’s like, the more I kept praying. The deeper my mother fell ill. So I just stopped praying altogether...and eventually...I stopped believing.” He explained in a weak-hearted voice before looking down at his shaking hands.

It hurts hearing him say that, but I could understand why he wouldn’t believe in God anymore. For so many years, he’s been in agony... hoping, praying, and crying that his mother could just live a healthy life. To see that it could never be fulfilled, I’m sure that he has already lost hope. But I don’t want to give up...I want him to keep believing. To the very end...

“Your mother deserves happiness, but so do you-”

“How can I be happy...with the way things are right now!?” He immediately asked in a stern tone as he punched the mattress he was laying on.

“Please, calm down. I know you’re upset but- Jin!”

As I tried approaching him to keep his voice low, I was startled by how quickly he had grabbed my arm and had me pinned down on his bed! With his body hovering over mine, I wasn’t sure where to look! The loose buttons on his white shirt made it very visible for me to see his bare chest! They must have unbuttoned themselves when he was tossing and turning in his sleep earlier? But that’s not what’s important right now! Why is Jin doing this?! Though as I tried to get Jin off of me, my body stopped moving the moment I felt a cool wet droplet land on my cheek! That was when I took notice of Jin’s watery eyes that were gazing back at mine...

“It hurts...and I want it to stop... please...make it stop.” He cried out to me in agony as he clutched his shirt tightly before resting his forehead on top of mine.

Unsure of what to do, I wrapped my hands around him. This is honestly all I could do to comfort him...but I knew that Jin wanted more. Just by how strong he was holding onto me and the way he brought his face close to my neck, that was when it came clear to me...that the person that Jin is possibly interested in...was me. Why? Why did it have to be me?!

“Jin...I’m sorry...but I don’t think I’m the one that can ease your heart-”

“Is it already too late for me...is the person who left these marks on you, are they more important than me?” He said underneath his breath before placing a kiss on where Kai I had left a hickey on me!

“No...that’s not it! I do care for you...I do. But...I can’t give you what you want. Please...don’t make this harder on me!” I cried out as I felt horrible for putting Jin’s heart in more pain.

“I never wanted this...this isn’t what I planned. Do you think this is easy for me...to see you always smiling at me, making me feel like things will be okay? When I first met you in America, all I saw in you was a frightened fragile girl worried about getting caught. Yet now, I feel like I’m the one who’s become fragile. And here I am now... trying to rely on you. I’m sorry...but I made a mistake on my part...to have you live in Korea? To have you be close to me? I don’t regret what I feel... Melrose, is it really so wrong...for me to love you?”

My heart froze, and everything seemed to have slowed down around me. Because I didn’t want to believe what I heard Jin say. I hate this...I hate myself, for letting Jin get close to me. This isn’t what I thought Jin meant by me being special to him, but I finally understand...

“I don’t want you to regret anything, know...that it’s okay to love someone. I won’t ever feel that your heart is a burden, Jin...I won’t deny the special bond we have. I enjoy spending time with you, I cherish the times when I’m able to do your makeup. Because that’s honestly the most fun part of me working here. But most of all...I love the person you are when you’re there watching out for me. I don’t want to lose that...I want us...to still be together if it’s possible...can you still be by my side when I need a shoulder to cry on! Someone who I can vent to... someone that I can tell jokes to and share a meal with. Is that still possible for us to have? Or am I a horrible person to ask this of you...”

I asked him as I sobbed uncontrollably as Jin fell silent. He soon rested his whole body on top of mine before resting his head on top of my chest...

“Horrible...that’s a horrible thing to do to me. But no matter what...I will still be by your side because I know you will never try and hurt me intentionally. You have your feelings and I have mine, but I won’t lie and say my heart isn’t hurting right now. So I ask, can you please spoil me at least once with my selfishness...let me pretend, that your heart beats the same as mine. Because maybe then...I can sleep in peace, and when I wake up...you and I... could go back to how things were.” He said in a low whisper before lacing his fingers with mine...

I’m not gonna deny that my heart did flutter a bit by his words, never in my life did I think there would be two men who would love me. Even as I nodded my head to Jin’s request, I looked up at the ceiling and heard Jin’s peaceful breathing. Closing my own eyes, I thought back to when I began to enjoy my time with Jin. And the more I looked into it, the more I accepted that if I had never met Kai...then there’s not a doubt in my mind that the person I’m holding right now...would be the one I would have fallen for...

“I love you... MelRose...”

I suddenly heard him say in his restless sleep before snuggling closer to me. Giving a bittersweet smile, I placed my hand on top of his head before I opened my eyes again. With a single tear escaping me, I felt my heart crack a little...

“Thank you, Jin...for loving me.”

I said in return as I continued to lay there. And before I knew it... the minute turned into hours. And I had no clue as to what time I had fallen asleep...But within my slumber, I couldn’t help but overhear two people talking. Is it just a dream that I’m having or is it real?

“I’m sorry...but you and I both know that you don’t have much time left. And I can’t bear to keep lying to you, your son might be able to. But I can’t...”

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.