The alluring crimson sun warmed my body, the brightness of morning was as clear as day with how it poked through my window curtains. I struggled a bit to open my eyes, I wasn’t entirely sure how long I’ve been asleep. But the softness of her body resting against mine brought my heart at ease. I honestly couldn’t believe that I was able to sleep peacefully. No night terrors or anxiety attacks, Rose truly was the comfort that I’ve been longing for, the cure to my sorrows and pain...
“Thank you... for staying by my side. Rose, I love you...” I quietly whisper to her ear.
Her calm breathing and relaxed body showed that she was in a heavy slumber. Giving off a smirk, I placed a kiss on her forehead before covering her naked body with the sheets. With my mind replaying the images of what we did, I felt my face growing red as I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment. Hopefully, I didn’t come off as controlling last night...
Carefully getting off the bed, I approached the bathroom and started to wash my face. I had to shake off my nerves, I feel as if I’m some kind of teenager right now with how I’m acting. As I began to dry off my face with the towel, I headed towards my closet soon after and changed into some clothes. Once I was done, I walked back to my room and the sight of Rose sleeping made me smile as I leaned myself back against the wall. Never knew I could be so happy this early in the morning...
“Be my wife already...” I said in a bashful tone as I laughed to myself in delight before walking out.
Closing the door, I walked down the hallway and tried to remember where I left my phone. I’m certain that I left it in the washroom where I put Rose’s clothes to wash. Which now that I think about it, her clothes should be already clean. Coming across the room I was heading towards, I easily found my phone lying on the table. But as I reached out to grab it, I immediately pulled my hand back when it started to ring! It caught me off guard, but I soon answered it and was surprised by who’s voice it was!?
“Where the hell are you right now?” He sternly asked me.
“Good morning to you too, Zack-”
“Where. Are. You?” He asked again, only this time the sound of his tone changed into anger.
Letting out a sigh, I already knew what this was probably about. Seems Lily already told Zack everything, though I shouldn’t be surprised. Those two were always close, but I guess it’s best to get this over with. No use trying to run away, I’m going to have to face Zack one way or another. And since he’s asking where I am, I’m positive he’s most likely in my dorm...
“I’m at my house-”
“I’ll be there in a bit.” He voiced out in aggression before hanging up.
I didn’t even get a chance to say much since he rushed off the phone. But then again, I doubt he wants to talk on the phone. Rubbing my head in annoyance, I slammed my fist against the wall with my phone still in hand. I don’t have the right to be upset about what’s to come, from the very beginning when I opened my feelings to Lily. Zack was very strict, but he trusted me in keeping Lily happy. But the result wasn’t what I expected, I failed...and because of that. I have to suffer the consequences...
My ears suddenly heard a door being shut closed! Thinking it was Rose, I hurried out of the room, only to stop midway way near the hallway that led towards the entrance of the house. Time froze for me and my body refused to move when I saw the person looking directly at me! Just why the hell is he here? I thought he would be away for a while due to work...
“Rare seeing you here, son.”
“Well...I only came to pick up some paperwork I forgot.” My father said as he avoided making eye contact.
It’s always been like this between us, even when I was younger. My father would always avoid me, at first...I thought it was because he needed to cope with what happened to Mom. But as the years passed, I realized that it was more than just that. I learned that he couldn’t be a Father, since he failed at being a husband. What right did he have in raising me...when he couldn’t protect the women he loved.
“I’ll be heading back to the dorms later today...” I explained to him as I looked in the direction my room was in.
I was starting to worry about Rose waking up, the last thing I want is for her to walk in on me and my father. I highly doubt my father would care about Rose being here. But I would much rather have them avoid each other as much as possible. I’m just not ready for them to talk, not yet. Not until... I’ll tell Rose everything about my past. I know I told her that I wouldn’t be able to last time. But after what we did last night, how could I not tell her. So I just hope Rose stays asleep for a little while longer...
“Oh, is that so? Okay, well...have you eaten breakfast yet? I could call our chef to come by real quick-”
“No, it’s okay. I could make my own meals...hey, uh...have you spoke to manager Sang? Last night he called me and-”
“Yes. He called me last night... I’ve been so busy with other companies that it’s been very overwhelming keeping updated with not just your group but with other K groups as well. Sang was very strict about having me keep this a secret. But you’re no longer a child, so I don’t understand why he insists on keeping you and Zack in the dark. I trust that you won’t tell anyone, especially the public. But it seems that Jin’s mother is going through a lot at the moment... and from what the doctors told Jin and Sang. Were not sure if she’ll be able to live much longer...”
Once he finished explaining, I looked at the floor where I was standing at...
I was actually surprised that my Father was willing to me the truth about what was going on. I just wish I didn’t already know about it, gripping my phone more harshly, I exhaled deeply before taking a seat near the living room couch. Hunching my head over, I thought of what I should do. Would seeing Jin right now be a good idea? No...I’ll probably make things worse. I mean, it is kinda my fault for what happened yesterday. But I just couldn’t stand the lies anymore...
I raised my head in confusion with what my father said. He then placed a hand on my shoulder before looking at the picture frame of when my parents got married. It’s always bittersweet whenever I look at it, a perfect couple...that ended in tragedy. I won’t make the same mistakes my Father made, I’ll hold Rose’s hand to the very end. Even if it kills me...
“I know how hard it must be for you to hear such a thing. You and Jin have been performing for years, so I know you’ve grown like brothers practically. Kai, I’m aware that I haven’t been there for you...but to tell you the truth. I haven’t really been there for myself either. Though I do have Sang who tells me how you boys are doing and I have to say, I’m not surprised by the problems you’ve been causing. The whole tabloids of you and a girl in a library, that was all over the media. I almost called you to see if the rumors were true about you dating that girl. But I don’t think it’s any business of mine to interfere in your life when you’re already grown. Though being grown doesn’t make you mature, especially after I saw pictures of you running out of the company building late at night. I have to say, that was a first for me. Never have I ever seen you look so panicked before...and that expression you gave. Though I feel if I ask you what happened that night, I doubt you’ll tell me. Kai, you are no longer a child...but you still have a lot of growing up to do. You need to learn from the mistakes you make-”
I voiced out feeling appalled. Slowly standing back up, I turned myself around to face him.
I know damn well he’s not lecturing me? I don’t see him for months, we rarely speak to each other. Hell, I practically had to raise myself growing up while he kept himself busy so he wouldn’t have to mourn over my Mother. All this time I thought I was the weak one. But in truth, the one who’s been weak...has been him.
“Here’s what we’re not gonna do. I’m not gonna lash out...and sound like a little bitch of a son who has daddy issues. And you’re not gonna start acting as if you care about your son who you haven’t seen in the months. I’ve gone through hell and back with what happened to this family. You may have lost your wife...but I think you ended up forgetting that your son lost a mother as well. So I had to rely on myself when I was young...you already know what I almost did. And you never once tried visiting me once at the hospital...so I’ma say this again. Don’t you ever... lecture me about my ‘mistakes’. When you yourself haven’t even corrected yours, what you and I have...are just two people who are related by blood and nothing more. If anything, manager Sang has been more of a Father figure than you can ever be... regardless of his shitty nature. At least he’s honest about it. That’s more I can say about you...you’ve had plenty of time to make up the years to build a bond with me. But you wasted them by hiding...Dad. I don’t hate you...but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to respect you after everything that happened. Even now...you still can’t visit my Mother’s grave-”
“Will leave things how they are then...Kai, take care of your health. Goodbye...” He spoke out as he immediately walked away from me.
Hearing his footsteps fading farther away, I waited for him to close the door. And once he did, I raised my hand and was about ready to throw my phone against the tile floor! But I forced myself to stop as all I could do was feel the pain of my nails piercing into my skin with how tight I had my fist closed. Trying to take deep breaths in, I slowly brought my hands back down as I stood standing there in anger...
“Coward...” I whispered to myself in hatred as I placed my phone back in my pocket.
My Father only ended up proving my point, running away again instead of facing the reality... whatever. If that’s how he wants to live his life, then let him. It has nothing to do with me, I already have my hands full with what I have to deal with. And just as I thought that... the ringing of the doorbell went off!
I voiced out in a stressful matter while running my hand through my hair. I almost forgot that Zack was coming here, shit! It’s like one thing after another, making my way towards the door. I looked through the security camera to see that it really was Zack. I’m starting to regret giving him and Jin the key card to my house, so much for me having privacy...
In that very instant of me opening the door, I was welcomed by a fist hitting me directly at my jaw. Stumbling backward, I ended up falling to the ground as I accepted whatever Zack had to say and do to me. I hurt Lily and the trust that Zack had in me, I don’t even think an apology will be good enough to fix this.
“Okay...I deserve that-”
“Shutup! You have no idea how much more I want to beat your face in right now, Lily asked me to let this go...but I can’t...I won’t! After everything she’s gone through...this is one thing I refuse to ignore-”
“I understand why you’re angry...but you were the one that told me to put an end to things if-”
“Yeah. I did...but I never told you to tell her that you had feelings for someone else! Why the fuck did you feel the need to tell her that!? You couldn’t just have told her that you no longer loved her-”
“She found out on her own! I...I never wanted to tell her that I found someone else...” I raised my voice in irritation as I picked myself off the ground.
“You could have just lied...why couldn’t you of just have lied-”
“Because Lily...is someone who I can’t lie to-”
“Fuck you! Don’t you fucking dare talk about her like that! Don’t speak as if you still care about her feelings!” Zack yelled with agitation in his voice as he hurried towards me.
Yanking me from the shirt, I felt the buttons rip off with how rough he was pulling on me before pushing me back against the table. I then watched as Zack clenched his jaw tightly before taking a few steps away from me. By the look of his veins popping along his neckline, it was evident that he was doing all he can do to not punch me again. With my chest exposed, I tried my best to cover the many kiss marks that Rose had left on my chest so Zack wouldn’t notice...“Why...who...when the fuck did you have time to likes someone else? In the many years that I’ve known you...you have never given any interest to anyone. It was always my sister who you would always talk about...she was the only person, that I thought you only cared for. Look...I...I don’t give a damn who you wanna be with, but when it comes to my sister...I don’t think I can forgive you for hurting her like this. Do you have any idea...how long she kept crying on my shoulder last night? You know...I promised her that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her again. After the accident that happened to her...me and my family swore to protect her. But her stubbornness of wanting to be independent made it difficult for us... though whenever she was around you. She would change because she truly loved you-”
“Lily...is a grown-ass woman. So I doubt she wants to be treated like a child, Zack...she may be your sister...but you have nothing to do with the relationship her and I had-”
Before I could even finish my sentence, Zack tried to punch me once more. But this time I didn’t let him as I quickly grabbed his fist in mid-air and grabbed him by the collar. Pulling him closely, I made sure I spoke clearly enough for him to listen. Because I never wish to speak about this again...
“I’m sorry...I know that those simple words aren’t enough. But believe me when I say that I truly did love your sister...she helped me grow. And I could never repay her for the kindness she gave me...I wish things could be different. That I could’ve ended thing’s with her sooner... because then maybe...I wouldn’t have hurt her so badly. Zack, Lily...she deserves better than being with someone like me... because I never would have loved her the way she would have loved me...”
Finishing what I had to say, I released him before taking a step back. His cold reaction soon changed into sadness as he rubbed the inner corners of his eyes in a tiresome motion. Observing his body language, I could tell he didn’t get much sleep last night by the redness of his eyes. I’m sure he’s stressed, so there’s no way I could tell him about Jin’s mother. It will only wear him out more...
“So that’s it then...it’s just over...” He voiced out in annoyance...
“Don’t make it sound as if it was so easy for me to do-”
“It’s hard to believe that when you’re able to love someone else-”
“You think I chose to love someone else so easily? Then you’re a fucking idiot if you really believe that, love isn’t something you do...it just happens-”
“Yeah...and you became selfish the moment you gave into those feelings. Because you never thought of the consequences that would hurt others.” His words hit me like a ton of bricks that I didn’t know what else to say. Though the silence didn’t last very long once we both heard someone calling out my name!
Zack and I both turned our heads in sync and saw Rose who was standing close to the hallway wall with only my shirt on! The shock on her face was visible just like Zack’s as he almost stumbled himself back. It’s like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing as he looked back at me. He then released a small laughter of sarcasm as if everything was just some sick joke...
Though I ignored Zack’s reaction as I hurried towards Rose’s side. Wrapping my arm around her back, I pulled her close to me as I looked over at Zack. His face that was once surprised quickly changed into something sinister once he put two and two together that the person I had fallen for was the woman I was embracing...
“Melrose, you...were the last person who I thought would be with him. Kai...you disappoint me.” He choked out what he had to say before looking back at Rose and making his exit.