Our Secret Melody

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Lyric: Fifty

Melrose POV:

This can’t be happening, there’s just no way! Why was Zack here!? And why isn’t Kai freaking out like I am!? There’s no way in hell I could lie out of this one, I know I’m terrible at lying. But how am I gonna explain myself out of this mess!? A ‘married’ woman like me shouldn’t be dressed half-naked in another guy’s house! It’s not like I could run after Zack with what I’m wearing. The only reason I came out here to the living room was that I was awakened by Kai’s loud voice, I thought that maybe he was on the phone with someone. But now I’m regretting my actions of stepping out of his room...

“What are we gonna do?! This is bad- why aren’t you stopping Zack!? I thought he was told to be in the dorms? So why-” I immediately stopped myself from speaking once I felt Kai’s arms tighten around me more!

Shifting my gaze at him, I saw that his eyesights were focused on the ground. He looked so deep in thought and held an expression of pain on his face. Just what did he talk to Zack about? Is it possible that he mentioned what’s going on with Jin-

“I’m sorry...” I suddenly heard Kai speak out in distress before letting me go.

“What are you sorry for?” I asked feeling worried once he released me and took a seat on the couch.

“I didn’t want Zack to find out about our relationship like this so soon, but I guess he was going to find out one way or another. Zack...he’s always been so carefree and has such a big heart when I first met him. But... something happened in the family that made him change...”

Without him even explaining it any deeper, I already knew who he was referring to. And although I don’t know the full story of the accident that put Lily in a wheelchair...I mean, when we spoke at the cafe a few weeks back. She said somthing about being in a car accident, though she didn’t explain any further than that. But I can see why Zack’s persona would change drastically, he almost lost his sister. Standing where I was at, I refused to move until Kai was done talking...

“I tried...so hard to be there for Zack. But I was unable to be the leader of the group for a while...I’m sorry...I’m getting off track here. Uhh, Rose... forgive me but...Zack knows you’re not really married. Jin and I ended up explaining everything about what happened back in America. I know that it might be difficult to believe what I’m about to say...but despite how angry Zack looked. I promise you that he will keep our relationship a secret-”

“Wait!? So this means...all three of you know now. Damit Kai! Why couldn’t you have told me sooner? It would have saved the trouble of me being so stressed about lying to him. And...what did Zack say to you that made you raise your voice so loud?” I asked while gripping the ends of the shirt I was wearing.

I wanna take Kai’s word when he said that Zack would keep our relationship a secret. But I feel like things are going to be very awkward between us now. And if I’m being honest with myself...I feel almost dirty with the actions I’ve done. Lily asked me to be friends with her, even after I knew what feelings she had for Kai. I still ended up ignoring it and continued to love him-

“It was about Lily...” He quickly said in a stressful sigh.

Unsure of what to say, I stayed quiet as I leaned against the wall. This unsettling feeling that still lingers inside is being held by a thread. Because I don’t know...where Lily and Kai stand at right now. What’s the relationship that they both share? And did I get in the way of their happiness? After sleeping with Kai, I’ve become more fragile...which is what I never wanted for myself.

“Rose...last night. When I texted you that I’ll be heading off somewhere...well, I actually went to go see Lily.”

He explained as he hunched himself over. I’m not gonna lie, but hearing him say what he did. I felt like something was locked inside my throat, the heavyweight of my heartfelt as if it dropped to my stomach and the shakiness of my legs made me want to just collapse from where I stood. This was the feeling...what I fear going through. I want to trust Kai...more than anything. But this jealously in my heart...it’s already killing me and it disgusts me to the core.

“Are you angry with me?” He asked next before standing back up.

“I...I don’t want to be. But-”

“But you can’t help what you feel. Yeah, that’s how I felt when I saw you with Jin...Rose, Lily is leaving Korea in a few days. And yesterday...was just me saying farewell to her. Rose? Please...look at me...”

He said in a concerned tone, I didn’t even notice when he stood in front of me. I was completely zoned out at what he was saying. That I didn’t know what to make of it, feeling his sudden hand rest on my cheek. I automatically took a step back to look at him. My actions caused Kai to react in shock as he tried to hold my hand. Though all I did was look at him before quickly turning myself around and walking back to his room in a hurry!

“Rose!? What are you doing? Where are you-”

“Where are my clothes?” I asked him once we both entered his room.

“What? Your clothes? Wait... what’s going on? Why are you-”

“Just bring me my clothes-”

“No, not until you tell me why you’re acting this way?! You sound annoyed at me and-”

“I swear if you don’t bring me my clothes I’ll walk out of your house like this!”

I raised my voice in anger as I shook his hands off of me! He then gave out a stressful sigh before turning around to go get my outfit.

Kai probably thinks I’m angry with him, but it was actually the opposite. I was angry with myself... because the one who’s been hurting out of all of us. Has been Lily, and if she really is going to leave...I need to talk to her at least once! I don’t have her number, but maybe Zack could- no. I doubt Zack would want to talk to me right now...

“Here...now please, tell me what’s going on- wait! I’m still in the room!”

Kai quickly voiced out in embarrassment once he handed me my clothes and watched me get naked in front of him.

Paying little attention to his reaction, I didn’t have time to be shy since I had to hurry. Kai had already seen everything of me so there’s nothing for me to be embarrassed about anymore. Although, the way Kai is reacting so bashful right now compared to how perverted he was with me a few hours ago. It’s almost cute and laughable...

“Kai... remember when you told me...that you felt weak. And that Lily...was once your strength...tell me. Is she still someone that you will think about, even when she’s gone? Be honest...” I asked in a stern voice once I was done changing.

The expression of Kai’s once shy face, immediately turned cold as he looked directly at me. Taking a step towards me, I stood firmly where I was at and felt Kai’s heated body inches away from mine. It was only now that I was able to visibly see the many kiss marks I had left on Kai’s chest! That was when I felt my cheeks growing red that even I tried to look away from him. But Kai was very strict in grabbing my jaw and forced me to look at him!

“No more...” He said with aggravation before pulling me closer towards him!

“Huh? What’s do you mean-”

“I don’t want you to ever doubt or worry about my feelings wavering for someone else. Did you not hear or feel what I was doing to you last night? Has it still not gotten through that thick skull of yours? Rose...the only woman I’m always thinking about...the woman who I love...is you. You are my strength...my precious love. My heart...”

His words were making my heart flutter and my eyes water. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and gripped it firmly before Kai placed a strong kiss on my lips. Deep down, my nerves were still anxious. And it wasn’t because of Kai, but because of me. I’m disappointed in myself because he had shown more than enough to prove his love to me. Of course, I’m a little upset that he went to see Lily last night without telling me. But I don’t have to worry anymore...

Pulling myself away from him, I could see that Kai wanted more than a kiss with how firm he was holding on to my lower waist. And as much as I would love to keep being this close to him, I need to end things here. Because from now on, will both have to be careful with each other when we’re out in the public. But I’m making a promise to myself...that I will not get in the way of Kai’s dream. ExEx Idol...must be his priority. His group...Zack, Jin...I want you all to succeed in what will make you happy.

“I’m sorry for walking away from you earlier...I’m not mad at you. I’m just...wishing things could be easy. Kai...will you be heading back to the dorms today?” I asked him while feeling his hand rest behind my back.

“Probably later tonight... though this morning I got a message from my music director about a chorus he wants me to fix. With the tour coming in a few days, he wants the instruments to flow right with my voice. But right now I don’t know if it matters to fix it since I’m not sure if Jin will be able to go on tour with what happened...I really need to apologize for my actions to his mother. You know...I never saw Jin act so broken before...he reminded me of a flashback of my past. His mother...she won’t die...right? She’ll live...she has to...for his sake.” Kai was beginning to sound overwhelmed that he even started to breathe heavily.

Watching him pull his pill bottle from his pocket, I watched as he took the many meds that he needed to take. His anxiety...his depression...his PTSD. I will always worry about him, Kai...

“Everything will be okay... she’ll be okay. And so will you...I love you.” I said to him in reassurance before hugging him.

I need to remember that Kai still isn’t mentally healthy... and with how things are going, I’m not even sure if Jin will be in the right mindset either. I have to make sure I check up on him and see how he’s doing. But that’s going to have to wait until I’m done talking with Lily, If I remember correctly, Zack’s house lived a few miles away from the company-

“You finally say it...” He said in a relieved matter before holding my hand.

“What do you mean ‘finally’? I told you all day yesterday how much I love you-”

“I still wanna hear you say it every day,” Kai said with a calming smile before placing his pill bottle back in his pocket.

Turning my head back towards the table in his room, I saw many of the empty prescription bottles lying across the table and felt instantly sad. Has Kai grown so dependent on these pills? Are they doing more harm than good? I’m not a doctor so I have no idea what the long-term effects are if he keeps taking so many. And what will happen if he stops taking them? Will his mental health take a toll? I have so many questions I want to ask him, but how do I bring it up without making things feel awkward?

“Rose?” He called out to me as I instantly brought myself back to my senses.

“Well...it looks like you have a lot of work to do on your songs. I should probably start heading back soon...I just remembered that Miss. Kim wanted all of the beauty staff to meet up later today to review some makeup brands for the outfits you guys will be wearing when you go on tour. That’s if it doesn’t get canceled...” I explained to him before grabbing the rest of my belongings.

“Oh, you have work today? I was hoping to spend more time with you...but, I’m most likely going to be busy for a while until I figure out the melody of this new mix I’m working on. But anyway, let me drop you off-”

“Oh, no it’s okay I’ll call-”

“Rose, I’m not letting you go by taxi. Let me drive you there-”

“I’m gonna keep denying your offer, Kai. It’s a lot different when I’m with you at night. There are not that many people out in public, so I don’t have a problem being with you in your car. But when it’s broad daylight outside when everyone is up and about. I don’t wanna risk anything, okay?” I explained to him as I saw his disappointed pout. Letting out a giggle, I grabbed his hand and had him walk me out of his house.

“Call me when you get to the company safely, and let me know when you’re heading back home when you’re done with work-”

“Eww, you sound like my Dad,” I said to him in a burst of joking laughter.

“What? No, I don’t...wait, does your Dad usually act overprotective?” He asked in curiosity as we continued to walk hand in hand.

“He’s always been overprotective with me and my little sister...”

It’s strange, but I’ve actually never spoken of my parents to Kai. In fact, I haven’t asked Kai about his Dad. There’s so much I wanna know about him, but it’s like the free time I do have with him. I just wanna spend it by embracing him, with Kai walking me to the front gate. I watched as he flashed the card key which automatically opened the gates for me. I swear I’ll never get over how cool that is...

“I’ll call you later once I’m done with my work, let me know if you need anything...” He said in a kind-hearted smile before planting a kiss on my forehead.

Giving him a nod, I began to let go of his hand and waved him goodbye as I walked further away. It wasn’t until he was out of sight that we both parted ways, placing my hand over my chest. I released a much-needed sigh as I felt how fluttered my heart was still beating. Holy shit...it’s now just hitting me...

“I had sex with my boyfriend...” I quietly said to myself as I lightly smacked my cheeks to get my mind out of the gutter.

Pulling out my phone, I tried to focus my mind on other things like calling for a taxi. But in the middle of dialing a cab driver, I saw in the far-off distance that there was a bus stop! That would be a lot cheaper than taking an expensive cab. And from the looks of it, only one person was sitting on the bench. I wonder if that person is waiting for the bus also?

As I approached closer, I thought back about what I needed to do later. After work, I need to make sure I talk with Lily. I still haven’t fully figured out what I wanna say to her. Then again, I have no idea how Lily will react? Which reminds me...I have to call Jin as well and see how he’s doing-

“Melrose, is that you?”


Stuttering my word out in confusion as to who was calling my name, I frantically looked around to see that there was no one around except the person who was sitting on the bench. At first, I was a bit scared of how a stranger knew my name. But it was when they pulled their face mask down that made me startled! What in the world is he doing out here in public!?


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