“I’m sorry, please forgive me for lying to you.” I immediately spoke as I bowed in front of her.
Shutting my eyes tightly, I felt completely nervous and anxious at the same time. However, Jin patted my back lightly before I decide to raise my head back up. And insight, I saw Jin’s mother give me a heartwarming smile before stretching out her hand towards me. Gently holding out my shaking hand, I slowly walked closer to her. But without warning, all I could do was instantly cry!
“I...I’m sorry...I...I don’t know why I started crying all of a sudden.”
I continued to sob in pain once I released Jin’s hand and began to wipe away my tears.
“Jin, can you please let me and Melissa speak privately...” I heard her say before she gestured me to take a seat.
Jin softly responded before placing his tender hand on top of my head for comfort. Soon after he left, it became very quiet in the room. It’s difficult to speak since I wasn’t sure how to start the conversation. But hearing my sniffles brought Jin’s mother to hold my hand more tightly. At first, I thought that maybe she was waiting for Jin to leave the room so she could scold me. I do deserve it after lying to her-
“I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me of what I’m about to ask you...”
Her words immediately made me change my whole expression entirely as I looked at her confused!
“Huh? Forgiveness? If anyone should be asking for forgiveness, it should be me! I’m the one that-”
“You only did what you thought was right, you and Jin both carry loving hearts. I know that my son only did it to bring me at ease...and to be honest. I’ve grown so incredibly happy because I know that once I’m gone...he won’t be alone. Kai and Zack... they’ve become practically brothers to my son. However...my heart will always be in pain... because I won’t be able to see my son grow more. Melissa, I’m not asking you to be with my son...all I ask is for you to be there for him. Because I won’t be able to anymore. To be the warmth that could care for his heart whenever it grows cold, to smile for him when he can’t...to praise him whenever he feels incomplete. But most of all...to give him the love that I would give him. He is my one and only son...and because of that, I wish to see him follow his dreams. And I don’t ever want him to feel alone in this world...which is why I’m asking you to please. Do this one favor for me...and forgive my selfishness. I know fully well that you and Kai are together, yet here I am... asking you to do something that might cause issues-”
“No... of course not. I... understand what you’re asking. And I promise I will be there for Jin. Whenever he’s hurting...along with Zack...even Kai. I’ll be there for all of them, they’ve all grown a special place in my heart. The love that you’re asking me to give your son...I’ll be by his side till the very end. Because I want to see him smiling at the world and to embrace the life that you gave him. Thank you...thank you for bringing Jin into this world. You’re... you’re the most beautiful and bravest mother in the world...”
I cried out in sorrow as I clutched her hand as if it were for dear life. This warm feeling of holding a mother’s hand will always be the purest thing to feel. And it wounds my soul knowing that Jin will soon no longer be able to feel this. At first, I wanted to question her about letting Jin go on tour. But hearing how she spoke, I understand now that she has her mind made up. So I won’t argue with her, mothers sometimes know what’s best for their children. It’s just like what Zack told me before, I need to let things go. With each passing day, Jin’s mom had to build the strength to smile for her son every day. Whenever she was in pain, sad, or upset...she had the courage to stay so strong. Even now, as I cry like a child in her arms. She is the one comforting me when I should be the one comforting her...but who am I kidding. I’m still a child in her eyes, even in my own mother’s eyes. I will always be her little girl, no matter how much I grow. A mother’s love will always show how much we still need them.
I don’t know how long time had passed, but I stayed in the warmness of her arms until the tears in my eyes finally dried up. Deep down in my heart, it was shattering. Because I feel like once I let go of her, it will be the last time I ever see her again. And I hope and pray, that this feeling is wrong. That everything will be okay and that everyone will come to visit her again. With a loving smile...
“You know... you’re the second person who has thanked me for bringing Jin into this world.” I suddenly heard her say before lifting my head to stare at her.“What?”
I questioned her, but before she could say anything else. We both heard the door being opened and saw the nurse coming inside along with Jin, Kai, and Zack.
So I instantly straightened myself back onto the chair before looking back at Jin’s mother. She then gave me and everyone else in the room a tired-like smile before resting herself back on the bed. Standing up, I lightly bowed my head in respect before taking in a deep breath. Watching the nurse check her vitals, I decided to make my exit. Though Kai was quick in following me behind through the hallway. Coming to a halt, the feeling of Kai’s hands resting on my tense shoulders made me instantly turn around to hold him!
“So you have been crying...Rose.” I heard him say before he wrapped his arms around my body.
“You already know how much of a cry baby I can be...Kai, I’m sorry. I love you, more than you’ll ever know. But...Jin, he-”
“He needs you...and he also needs us. I know, Rose...let’s all work hard to make this dream a reality. To make Jin’s mother at ease and to make ExEx Idol worth striving for, so watch me...so continue to stay by our side and watch me become the man you’ll fall in love with even more..”
He explained as I felt his lips leaving a kiss on my forehead. Directing my eyes towards him, I smiled before inching myself closer to his face.
“Can you go a day without being lovey-dovey? Seriously, we’re at a hospital. Here, MelRose...let me save you from this perverted guy.”
Said Zack who grabbed my arm and began to drag me down the hall! I didn’t even realize when he followed behind us earlier.
“Who the hell are you calling a pervert?! You’re the one that’s always flirting with the female staff...”
Hearing Kai raise his voice. I looked back to see that Kai’s once annoyed face grew serious the moment Jin took a step out of his mother’s room. I wonder what those two are talking about now?
“Huh? What is it, Zack?” I said turning my head back to look at his gloomy expression.
“When someone dies...where do you think they go?”
I wasn’t expecting him to ask such a thing like that, but I think after witnessing Kai’s trauma of losing his mother. And after almost losing his own sister...I’m sure he’s dealing with everything he can to the best of his abilities. Especially after talking with Jin’s mom...
“Zack...I’m not entirely sure. I would like to believe that there’s a heaven...but...”
“Then there’s probably a hell also...”
He quickly said in a cold voice before he came to halt near the elevator.
Not too long after he said that, the footsteps of Kai and Jin could be heard approaching us. So Zack immediately pushed the button to the main lobby of the hospital, he then let out a tiresome sigh before stretching out his arms and spoke once more, only this time he no longer sounded stern like before.
“Well, there’s no sense in talking about the unknown. Anyways, put your face mask on, we’re heading back out.”
He said to me before placing his arm around my shoulder. But that didn’t last long since Kai immediately smacked his arm away from me. Kai then pulled me closer to his body once we all entered the elevator, but as soon as those doors closed. The ride down grew silent, it became awkward once again. With Jin standing in one corner and Kai having me be in the other corner. It just makes Zack and I feel uncomfortable with this tension always being around.
This was starting to become annoying, even for me! I’ve just had about enough of it, so once I finished placing my face mask on. I waited until we were all out of the elevator and were close to coming towards the parking lot. Taking the chance, I grabbed Kai’s and Jin’s hands and held them tightly. Their reactions were the same as Zack’s, shocked and confused at what I was doing.
“Rose...what are you-”
“I made a promise today...that I would be there for all of you whenever you need me. Jin, Zack... Kai. You’ve all become...like a second family to me. And I care for each one of you, I never would have thought that in these short months of working here. That I would be filled with joy and full of excitement. Despite the arguments that I’ve may have caused...I don’t ever want the three of you to stop smiling. But most of all...I don’t ever want you three to ever hate each other. And I’m certain your fans wouldn’t want that either...so I’m asking, will you guys be okay with letting me stay with ExEx Idol till the very end?” I asked the three of them before bowing...
From the very beginning, Kai was against me working here. But Jin opened his heart and gave me a chance and Zack made me feel so welcomed to the company. And within time, these three boys were slowly beginning to change me. I thought that I’ve grown so much already, but I couldn’t be more wrong. Because I’ve come to learn so much from them, I might be overthinking things like usual. But-
“What are you talking about? You’ve been a part of our family from the very beginning.”
I heard Zack say in a bright smile as he sneakily pulled his face masks down in a tease. But my attention was drawn to the two boys I was still holding hands with. I watched in surprise as they both in sync laughed in amusement! Just what’s so funny?!
“Hey! I’m being serious! Why are you both-”
“Melrose, I’m sorry...I don’t mean to laugh. But it’s just out of character to see you be so serious...but regardless. I can see it in your eyes that you truly care for us and this group.”
Jin explained to me before letting go of my hand and gently pinching my cheek.
“Honestly Rose, I never know what’s going on in that head of yours. But you don’t ever have to worry about us hating each other, don’t get me wrong... there are days where I wanna kill this guy. But...we always make up in the end.”
Kai said as he swatted Jin’s hand away from my face, Jin soon followed by flicking Kai in the head.
They both soon started to playfully roughhouse against each other until I finally smiled feeling relieved. Here I thought they were still angry with one another, but judging by Kai’s actions. I know that he will never let Jin get close to me again as he did before. That’s understandable, but I will keep my word. When the time ever comes that Jin needs me...I’ll lend him a shoulder to cry on. And listen to whatever concerns are troubling him...
“Alright, can we get going now? Hospitals give me the creeps- oh! Jin, we better hurry. We have to start recording your part of the song and I still need to practice one of the verses. This is gonna be annoying! We have to rehearse the new choreography and don’t even get me started on...”
With Zack walking off already stressed for what’s to come, I couldn’t help but giggle a bit.
“Okay, I’m coming. Well, I’ll see you later then. And...thank you. For coming today...”
Jin said to me with a fragile smile before walking off towards his car. Waving them goodbye, I stood next to Kai before he wrapped his hand against my lower waist!
“Do you have to grab a hold of me all the time-”
“Don’t answer so quickly without thinking about it first-”
“What’s there to think about? You’re my girlfriend, I should be able to do stuff like this.”
Kai explained in a carefree smile before quickly pulling his face mask down along with mine to place a kiss!
“Are you stupid!? We can’t do that in public! What if we get seen!?”
I shouted at him in embarrassment as I hurried in putting my face mask on and rushing myself towards Kai’s vehicle.
“Yeah, I guess I am stupid. But I’ll take the chance to kiss you as many times as I can.”
He responded with a mischievous smile before following me.
As we both entered the car, I could feel my face growing red in shyness. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how Kai could be so blunt by his actions and words. Okay, I need to try and calm myself. Pulling out my phone, I checked to see what time it was. However, I completely forgot to turn my phone back on when I finished charging it! So I immediately switched it back on and waited for the screen to pop up. With Kai starting the engine, it wasn’t long before we drove back towards the company.
“Hey, Rose did you want to grab some breakfast before we head back? I’m sure those cookies that Jin gave you weren’t enough. You know, I still don’t get why he didn’t offer me any? I mean, I know I don’t like sweets but he could have still offered- Rose? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
With Kai noticing my worried expression. I stared bewildered at the many missed calls that I had gotten from not only from my sister. But from my mother as well!
“Kai, I’m sorry but I need to make a call real quick!” I said to him before dialing my mother’s number.
“Is everything okay?”
He asked again sounding more concerned.
I wish I could answer that question with a simple yes. But I’m beginning to hate myself for not having my phone on! It’s still early morning here in Korea, so it’s mostly likely nighttime in America. From the calls I received from mother, she called a few hours ago. However, my sister has been calling non-stop for most of yesterday! Did something happen-
“Mom! I’m so sorry! My phone was dead and I completely forgot to turn it back on this morning. Is everything okay? How’s Dad? Is everything okay-”
“Everything is fine...well your father and I are doing alright. I just can’t speak for your sister, sweetie...I’m sorry for calling so many times. I must have scared you, but I’ve been becoming concerned with your sister. Lately, she hasn’t been eating as much, and since yesterday she hasn’t left the room. She’s been in bed all day and just been on her phone. I’ve tried talking to her, but all Samantha does is cry. I wish I could understand what’s going on with her, which is why I’ve been calling you. MelRose, has Sam been telling you anything? Did you perhaps say something that might have upset her?”
The moment my mother asked, I almost dropped my phone! I guess, Sam really did hear what I told her last night.
“I...no... the only thing I’ve been telling her is to stop calling me so much when I’m at work. Though she did mention how stress she’s been lately, I think she’s just being overdramatic. Umm, Mom...I’m sorry but I have to get back to work. But if anything happens, call me. I love you...”
Ending the call, I let out a dreadful sigh before resting my head back against the headrest.
“Is your family doing alright?” Kai kindly asked once we pulled behind the company building.
“Everything is fine...I think. But, there’s somthing I need to tell you.” I said to him once he pulled into the parking lot.
Clutching my phone, I decided that it was time I explained the truth of what I had to do to come work here. Obviously, my parents would have never approved of me working for some K-pop group company. They think I’m here in Korea working in some entertainment businesses that just involve doing simple makeup on models. So I gave the full story on how I had to lie to be here. I just hope Kai doesn’t become disappointed in my actions, I’ve lied to my parents and the company already. Kai must think I’m a terrible person for-
“Are you... really laughing right now?!” I asked Kai in annoyance!
“Listen...I know it looks bad. But, I just can’t believe you had to lie so much just to work here.”
He continued to giggle without a care in the world. Annoyed by his reaction, I reached my hand out ready to pinch his arm. However, Kai had already stopped my hand from getting anywhere near him!
“I never would have guessed that my first girlfriend would be such a deceitful violent woman-”
“Well sorry for not being perfect!”
I voiced out feeling upset with myself. Unbuckling my seat belt, I was about ready to leave his car when I suddenly felt a weight come over my entire body!
“Rose, I’m far from being the perfect guy. This might sound bad but...I’m very happy that you lied to come all the way over here. Sometimes...it’s best to keep secrets from the people you care about.”
He said in a mellow voice, his actions led me to stay absolutely still the moment he scooted himself over me. Locking the door, he forbid me from leaving his grasp as the feeling of his soft hair dangled across my forehead. But what he said earlier caught my attention...
“Secrets? Is there a secret...that you don’t wish to tell me then?”
I asked him in a calming matter. But all Kai did was give off a bittersweet smile before placing a kiss on me.
Holding on to his shirt, the muffled moans grew deep until it was too much for us to continue. The heat of our bodies was beginning to make the inside of the car grow hot. Parting ways, I kept my eyes closed yet I could tell that Kai was staring directly at me with a passionate gaze. With his forehead pressed against mine, I held on to him tightly.
“What about you?”
I gasped at his question before opening my eyes to look at him more sincerely.
“Is there a secret...that you wish to tell me?”
He asked while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. My mind instantly went towards Jin, but I could never bring myself to say anything about what happened. It would only bring more conflict.
“I don’t think there is...oh! I don’t think this is much of a secret. But my little sister is becoming one of those obsessed fans of yours.”
I jokingly said, however, Kai didn’t laugh. His expression grew stern that he ended up going back to his seat. I probably shouldn’t have said that, considering what happened recently in the meet greet. Also the incident of what happened years back between him and Lily. I probably hit a nerve that triggered emotions that he doesn’t want to remember.
“I...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said something like that...my sister. She...really likes you so I consider her being a big fan.” I explained to him.
“It’s okay...I just sometimes worry about what my fans become. I just want them to love my music and nothing more...but, they tend to love what I am. An Idol...and sometimes, it becomes too much that they grow obsessed...it could really ruin a person.”
As he spoke, he placed both hands on the steering wheel and looked straightforward. He was deep and thought and my mind immediately went to my sister on how she’s been acting recently. Sam, your just a simple fan that loves Kai’s music, right? I know you’ve told me many times how much you love Kai, but...I’m sure that’s just a phase. You’ll outgrow this crush, I’m sure of it. I mean, you would never be one of those unstable crazy fans...right?