Bystander Apathy

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Ayan has lived her life in black and white, from one shelter to the other, she eventually got used to the momentum of life’s unexpected events. Without a care of her different lifestyle, her eyes scrutinize everything around her with the feeling of emptiness and melancholy; with no meaning. Ayan lived each day as if it were her first and last, without a care of the aftermath caused by her actions. After series of events which caused Ayan to fall back to square one again, she didn’t expect to start a fresh start, in a city far away.

Romance / Erotica
Age Rating:


Theoretically, a home is a place of love and attachement, a place to be cared for, when in reality, every home I’ve been to, has been a monotone box of pessimism.

Voices and faces whom I don’t remember the name of, people coming in and out, silhouettes passing by, hundreds of files and folders with legal documents, black ink on white papers, court appointments. Judging cold eyes, greeting me at each doorstep for six years, every passing year they seemed to grow darker and simmer.

The day I got shoved into the system, their tentacles found my heart, and turned it into stone. Their cold tongues and guilty gaze gave me frissons every night, their insidious ways turned my world into black and white, just like the black letters printed on my legal file; indoctrinating me that my life revolved and was all that was between those stapled papers, and nothing ever more.

Foster homes were as bad as they came, but luckily I haven’t been to the worst. Instead they placed me and other kids in juvenile detention centres. At the age of twelve, I had spent a year in the system, and that’s when I realized, we were placed in a prison for psychopaths and criminals, without a sin in our pockets nor blood on our hands.

Yes, I grew up in juvie, education was shit but I liked to try my hardest, it eventually led to sneaking a few books from class time, to stealing cigarettes and reading during night time. At that point I was hitting the peak of puberty...I won’t even go there.

Anyway, this was my reality, I accepted it and there was nothing I could do about it. Rather, I got accustomed to everything around me and eventually I started loosening up and enjoying myself little by little.

When I hit my fifteenth birthday, that’s when shit really went down. A group of young teens, including me, were moved to another detention centre in the neighbouring state, due to overpopulation.

This juvie was beyond fucked up.

Instead of segregating the cells by age like the previous centre, this one was in the shadows of the authorities, who themselves planted the roots of corruption.

Mixing teenagers with more hormonal teenagers, is like diving head first into a pool of crocodiles. Don’t make me laugh, just by thinking about it a little, you’d know it was on purpose, I mean, who the fuck cares about a bunch of teenagers with no family?

Every week there’d be a new incident; a runaway, stabbing, fights, murder or suicide...most of the time you witnessed it firsthand, and wether you had something to do with it or not, you were forced to clean up the mess.

Those found guilty had consequences. Most of them cried mercy and pled for forgiveness as they bribed the officers in charge, walking out without tasting the fate of their sins. I called that, crocodile tears.

They hid in plain sight, the corrupt; they’re convicts walking freely.

I didn’t question anything anymore, if I did, I’d be stuck questioning everything and be left running in circles with no answers. I minded my own business, no matter who or what, I brushed it out of my way with a cold shoulder; I didn’t need friends and I was comfortable by myself, I couldn’t care about anything else. Aside from our daily chores and school, I busied myself with books and working out, I’d talk to anyone but I never got too close.

I finally got used to this place, everything was normal. Although it might seem as if I might be losing my sanity, but oh well, this was the ordinary for me.

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Further Recommendations

masihnovaira: Your story was full of surprises but yet it was too good. If you don't mind please can you read my novel HURDLES REVEAL OUR DESTINATION and tell me if there is any fault in it. Actually it is my first novel and I would love advice of a nice writer like you

Ailea K.L.C.: It's my first time reading a plot such as this and I really enjoyed reading every bit of it. I wish there is another book though. I'm very curious about what happened to Tina back when she was with Decker and the boys. :)

harper0883: Loving the story excellent plot strong characters keep up the awesome writing skills

Monica Gange: Absolutely in love with this book could do with no cursing though

cassijo87: I like it so far I’m not the biggest fan of the writing style though I would prefer it split more for different people

toniceja0: It’s a good short story so far

Jackie Jenkins: Great read as always. alot of years and joy reading this.

abigailramongalo: I like everything about the story but I feel like it's shot but that's me I don't know but hei it's a good Good story

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hannahmodo: This one got me crying my eyes out. Too emotional. I love it

Brenda Pugh: It was good reading material and amazingly informative

grasseshelby: The storyline was great. Wish it had not jumped around so fast.The characters were good but didn’t take time to develop them. Will there be a #2. And finish the story about her little girl.

charleneharrison45: Love it look forward to reading more chapters! 👍🏼

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