I could feel the intense pain in my all over body and opening eyes was the next difficult thing. I heard someone gasp.
As I opened my eyes, I see white. Everything was white. White as heaven.
Where I am?
I am I dead?
“Zia.” I heard a girl shouting.
As I turned my head towards the voice, I saw a boy sitting beside me. He resembled someone. I don't know who, neither I was planning to find out about this anytime. I wanted to relieve from this pain. With complete the determination I brought my hand over my stomach to feel it but it felt empty. I couldn't feel my baby. Where was my baby?
Yes, I didn't want it but I never hated it. It helped me keep my senses when I wanted to kill myself. My aid of loneliness. At least, for a while, I had someone to talk to. Deep inside that, I would escape from here and would start a new life with this baby.
“Let me help you.” Nurse helped to sit as soon as she enters.
“I was so worried about you.” Kate came with a little girl who looked like my Vicky. Red hair, blue eyes.
It was like Vicky was standing right in front of me. She was looked barely four years old, shy redhead like me, had my eyes. But she cannot be Vicky. My Vicky is dead.
It's all because of Katelyn. She's the reason for my misery.
I loathe her for what she did. It suffocates me. I cannot believe that she is in the same room as if everything is normal. I cannot tolerate her. I envy that she is enjoying her pregnancy and cannot never get a chance to hold any of my babies.
Somehow my mother instinct told me to look for my baby. I knew I can't keep it, they will never allow me but at least I could look at him/her for the last time. Maybe I could feed him/her. At least, this time.
“Sorry mam, babies were already dead,” Nurse said.
I felt my heart being tone into pieces again and a lone tear escapes my eyes.
“Babies?” I questioned.
“Yes, both girls were already dead.” Nurse gave me a tissue to wipe my tears but I prefer to lay down and hid my face in the pillow.
“Zia, perche la momma piange?” I heard a sweet voice. (Aunt, why is Mother crying? “)
“Beth, I am sorry.” Kate sounded sad but she should be happy. It is her revenge. “Meet Elizabeth Rossi.” She was pushing this little girl towards me.
“lei sta spaventando.” Elizabeth was terrified and was not ready to leave her.
(She is scary)
“lei è tua Madre.” She scolded the girl.
(She is your mother)
Elizabeth clutched her dress tightly and closed her eyes. “She's your daughter, Beth.” She said.
“You know, she needs to be breastfed,” Amber notified me. She was checking the vital for the little baby, who has been restless for hours. “She's already too weak.”
“I know but.......”
“There's a lady, she delivered twins. Unfortunately, they were already dead. She must be lactating. Maybe, she could help you.” She whispered with danger. Everyone knows that the baby's father could be destructive. And if he finds out that I am not able to breastfeed his infant daughter then, I would lose my job. My house. Everything.
I need to do this. For my son.
“How is she?” I asked Amber about the lady. We have known each other for a long time now. Almost 2 years.
“Horrible.” She said. Her expression explained the horrific scene of a mother losing her babies. “She was severely abused. Both sexually and physically. It's a miracle she survived.” She whispered as if this is a secret.
“Maybe, she's a fighter.”
“Indeed. Her private parts we're almost infected.” Amber was ready to leave the room. “She has this very peaceful vibes around her, despite all these. I am sure, she'll help.”