Isn't it funny how you meet someone and fall in love, get married, and have children with them? Then they just throw it all away because of another person. How can a person love someone so much, start a life with them just to not care? I've thought about that since the day I found out my husband had cheated, getting another woman pregnant.
The hardest part of divorcing him wasn't because I loved him so much. It was having to explain to my two children why their mother and father were no longer going to be married. Seeing my children hurt and upset that their father had gotten another woman pregnant was the hardest part. Life for my kids has never been the same since. Especially since their father has new responsibilities and commitments.
Even after everything that happened between my ex-husband, Noah, and me. I never once down talked him to or in front of the kids. Whatever happened is between Noah and me, even if the kids are affected, he was still their father. My oldest doesn't get along with his dad or his girlfriend. My daughter on the other hand, is a daddy's girl but she doesn't fond his girlfriend either, though she was excited to be a big sister. It doesn't bother me if my kids like their father's girlfriend, she was pregnant with their father's baby so she was going to be in the picture.
Personally, I don't like her but I don't hate her either. I'll be civil with her for my kid's sake but other than that I don't like her. What woman would like the woman her husband was sleeping with and got knocked up? Noah and I were on okay terms, we talked to each other when it came to the kids but we weren't friends. When we first divorced he'd come over for Christmas to spend time with the kids. He'd do it for all holidays and birthdays until we decided it would be best not to get the kids used to it.
When the divorce was finalized I found out Noah's girlfriend was only a month pregnant. Asher was fifteen turning sixteen in a few days and Sage was eight. Asher was old enough to understand but Sage still asks questions. Things have changed, Noah's girlfriend was now six months pregnant. That meant that Noah was much busier with getting ready for his new baby and put off picking up the kids on his days. I love spending time with my kids and after the first few times he put them off, I stopped complaining to him about it. Asher doesn't like going to his dad's much but he goes anyway.
Me, on the other hand, I tried dating but after the first few dates it never went further. I was a working mother and when mother duty calls I am there. I don't want to rush into anything at all, if I am going to be in a relationship then I want to be in one where I know it is going to last. And if I never get into a relationship than that is totally fine, I am happy with just being with my kids. It wasn't hard to get the kids to warm up to me dating, they both wanted me to be happy and I was thankful for that.
We all coped with the divorce differently, I cried a lot at first but told myself I needed to be strong for my kids and I was. Sage was into drawing, she was very talented for her age. Asher joined the baseball team for his school and he was very good at it. I met his coach, Coach Mason, and he said that Asher was one of his top players. I went to every game and cheered him on. Obviously, Noah was there for every game too but it didn't bother me any. It made me happy to see Noah there for Asher even through their rough patch. We usually did our drop-offs with the kids during the games.
My divorce changed mine and my kid's lives forever but deep down I was thankful it happened. If it hadn't I would probably be getting cheated on behind my back through the whole marriage. If something isn't meant to be then it isn't meant to be. I wouldn't change anything, I don't regret marrying Noah and If I knew what I know now before I married him, I'd still do it because then I wouldn't have my two wonderful kids. They made me a better person, a better mother, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.