I was laying on my bed with my eyes closed and my earbuds in my ears, listening to the sweet sound of Gordon Lightfoot’s Early Morning Rain, just trying to process the events of the night. Fuck. Why me? I clenched my jaw and sighed resting my hand on my stomach, still feeling sick.
I kissed him. I kissed Vinnie, and I liked it. I really liked it. I’ve never felt that way before, ever. Never felt that instant attraction, that magnetic force pulling me to someone, and certainly never felt the want and need to spread my damn legs before. I would have. I know I would have. If I hadn’t had that moment of clarity I know I would’ve let him pop the cherry between my legs right there against the wall in his office. I shuttered at the thought.
I jumped slightly at the cold nose that touched my arm and opened my eyes. I turned my head and smiled, pulling my earbuds out of my ears and scratched Frank between the ears.
“Hey old man.” I said softly, looking at his greying muzzle and droopy eyes. “You wanna come up?”
Frank panted and wagged his tail as I sat up. “You know where your steps are, go on.”
I watched him slowly walk to the foot of my bed to where dad had put a small set of wide steps so that Frank could get up and down on my bed easily, and he slowly climbed up them and curled up beside me, resting his head on my legs. I petted him and leaned down, placing a kiss to his grey muzzle, which got me a slobbery lick on the nose.
A knock at my bedroom door caught my attention and I called out, “Yeah?”
The door opened and mom stood in the doorway. “Hey birthday girl. Can I come in?”
I nodded my head, and she walked in, closing the door behind her and sat on my bed beside me.
“You came home pretty early, is everything okay?”
I nodded my head, focusing my eyes on Frank as tears started to blur my vision, “Yep. Totally fine.”
“Lydia.” Mom said softly, tucking my hair behind my ears. “Honey, come on. We tell each other everything.”
I looked at her and wiped the single tear that rolled down my cheek.
“Oh honey.” Mom said, pulling me into her arms. “What happened?” She asked, kissing the top of my head.
“I… God, I can’t even talk about it.” I said softly.
“Lydia, you know you can talk to me.”
I pulled away from her and cleared my throat, wiping my eyes with the sleeve on my long sleeve t-shirt. “I’m fine, really. Just… A lot of emotions running through me I guess.”
“Yeah? Graduation in a couple of weeks, gymnastics competition, prom… Then off to college.” Mom gave me a small smile, “A lot of things going on at once, hmm?”
“Yeah.” I nodded my head, “Exactly.”
“Is there… Anything else you want to talk about?”
I eyed her, “Yes, I’m sure.”
Did she know? Fuck, oh god. If she knows then dad knows, and if dad knows… I will never be able to look him in the eyes again. They don’t know… Right?
Mom looked me in the eyes for a moment before she gave me a smile and brushed my hair back out of my face, “Okay, honey. Well, I just wanted to come and make sure everything was okay since you came home so early. Where’d you guys go?”
“We went to the arcade and then we went to Westgate.”
Mom perked up slightly when I mentioned Vinnie’s bar. “Oh? You uh, you saw Vinnie?”
I shrugged, “Yeah, briefly. We only really went there because I knew he’d let us have free drinks. He was out back the whole time though… working. He told me happy birthday though.”
Mom nodded, and I saw her shoulders relax. “Okay, I just wanted to make sure you okay.”
“Yep, I’m fine. Just tired now.”
“Okay. I’ll let you get some sleep then. Good night, honey and happy birthday.”
I smiled at her as he pulled me into her arms again, and I swear I heard her smell me, but I didn’t say anything.
I heard her and dad talking as dad walked up the stairs, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
See, I’m not a vampire. Well, I am, but like not really. I have no fangs, no speed, no strength, and absolutely no lust for blood- thank god. I was what’s called a ‘dud blood’. Well, that’s what I call myself at least, but the correct term is a shielded soul; a vampiric offspring that has no qualities of a vampire. I mean, I have immortality obviously, but no other known vampiric qualities besides the ability to heal quickly.
I am a necromancer, but since my blood was used to save my dad when I was little, I haven’t had any other positive experiences with resurrecting the dead. Not that I’m that creepy person who goes around trying to resurrect dead people or anything… Because I’m not. I promise, I’m not. I’ve tried to bring birds that flew into windows back to life, same with squirrels that got hit and stuff, but it never worked. Aunt Gaia gave me a few tombs to read on necromancy, but they are confusing as fuck and there’s so much information in them that I can’t really focus on reading. So basically, my parents and siblings are normal vampires, and I’m the dud.
I’m a bubbly, happy person on the outside, but deep down inside… I can’t help but feel like I’m a let down. Like, obviously I know my parents love me, but I feel like they’re closer with CJ and Charlotte because they are all normal vampires and can relate to each other, whereas nobody knows what the fuck I am.
I sighed and got up, walked over to my door and opened it slowly. I could vaguely hear mom and dad in their room talking and I knew Charlotte and CJ were asleep in their rooms since it was well after midnight. I walked over to my dresser and opened the top drawer, pulling out a wooden box and set it on the top of the dresser. I could feel my hands start to tremor as I opened the box and pulled out the makeshift tourniquet I’d made out of an old bandana, a syringe that I bought in a bulk package at a local drugstore that was used for diabetics who needed to inject insulin, a spoon that I kept, and a smaller box. I drew in a breath and opened the small box and pulled out a dime bag of my little white secret; Cocaine.
I’m not an addict or anything, I just do it because I’m bored, ya know? And to take the edge off when I get stressed, and exams are like, right around the corner so I’m hella stressed. I am not a junkie addict.
I tied the tourniquet tightly over my right arm, grabbed the lighter that I used to light candles and carefully opened the dime bag and poured it onto the spoon. I held the lighter over the spoon and watched it melt into an injectable liquid and using the free hand and my teeth, I sucked the liquid up into the syringe. My mind was craving to forget the events of this night even if it was only briefly. I carefully tapped the syringe and winced as the needle pushed into my skin and pierced through my vein, but relaxed once I started to push the pump down of the syringe.
I found myself laying on my bed with a slight ringing in my ears and feeling euphoric relaxation wash over me.
Uncle Vinnie is my bonded soul? I snorted a laugh to myself and got up, slightly wobbly and took my phone and sent him a text.
LYDIA: So uncle Vinnie, you want me to call you daddy now?
I laughed to myself and looked down at the instant reply I received.
VIN: Where R U?
LYDIA: Don’t worry uncle, I’m safe and far from you and your predatory ways.
VIN: SRSLY? R U home?
The effect of the drug in my bloodstream took over fully and the room started to slowly spin in soft, hazy circles around me. I felt my eyelids flutter and I fell back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I enjoyed my trip, the world slowing down around me, the only sounds were of my breathing and my heart beating. The memories of the night flashed in my mind.
Shane and I stood outside of the club, the music a faint boom in the background. A car sped by and I pushed the skirt of my dress down in shock.
“Shit! Shane, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?” I asked him, tucking my hair behind my ear.
He cleared his throat and shyly reached his hands out and took mine in his. I didn’t think anything of it because we’d hold hands all the time.
“Lydia, uh… I don’t really know how to say it.”
“Say what?” I sighed, still wrapping my head around what had just happened between Vinnie and I.
I hate that I crave him. I hate that I crave his exotic, musky scent mixed with cigar smoke and old spice. I hate that I miss the way his tongue felt in my mouth. I hate the way his hands made me feel, how my nipples instantly hardened and how my vag throbbed and wanted him. I hate how I shuttered when he said my name, how goosebumps broke out on my skin as his fingers ran down my arms.
“Huh?” I blinked a few times trying to make the dull ache between my legs go away.
“I uh… I said…” Shane cleared his throat, “I said that I like you.”
“Oh. Oh! Yeah, I like you too, Shane.” I gave him a smile.
“No… No, I really like you.”
“Oh.” My eyes widened, “Oh… Oh, Shane, uh…” I bit my lip.
“I have for a long time, and I just never said anything because… well, I didn’t know how you’d-”
I turned around and saw Vinnie walking out from a side door, his forearms rippling under his sleeves, his dark hair moving with the wind ever so slightly. His dark eyes pierced mine and I had trouble breathing for a split second as my eyes got lost in his. My nipples hardened against the fabric of my dress and jolts of pleasure shot through my core from the way the fabric moved as I breathed over them. My eyes focused on the hollow of his neck and the dark hair just beneath it that I so desperately wanted to run my hand over. I wanted to bury my hands in his hair, claw my nails down his back, bit his lip again… I wanted his head between my legs and his teeth on my skin. I wanted him. I wanted him like I’ve never wanted anything before in my life, this hunger for Vinnie would not stay satiated. I shuttered, feeling my panties getting wetter at the impure thoughts I was having.
Vinnie’s eyes flashed crimson for a split second before he ran his hand over his jaw and walked over.
“Hey, Shane. Lydia, can I talk to you?” Vinnie said in his gruff, deep voice.
“Uh, actually we were just-” Shane started.
“Going home. I’m going home.” I gasped out with a gulp. “I’m feeling really tired. Sorry Shane, can we talk tomorrow? I just… I thought the air would help wake me up, but it didn’t.”
Shane gave me a pained expression before he nodded once. “Yeah, sure thing.”
“Thanks. Tell the girls I’m leaving? I’ll text them, but…”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Good night, Vin.”
I woke up on flat on my stomach, my face squished in my pillow and my hair everywhere. I let out a groan, still groggy and looked at my phone. Shit! I jumped up and out of bed.
“Fuck!” I hissed, quickly changing into a pair of shorts and a baggy pink sweatshirt, then ran a brush through my hair before throwing it into a bun on the top of my head. I grabbed my pink glittery duffle bag from my closet that had my practice outfit and raced downstairs.
“Morning-” Dad said as I darted into the kitchen.
“Morning!” I huffed, taking his coffee cup from him just as he was about to take a drink.
He blinked his eyes a few times and stared at me, “Okay… Help yourself.”
I gave him the cup back and gave him a peck on the cheek, then grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter.
“Hey, slow down and eat something for r-”
“Can’t, I slept in and I’m going to be late from practice!”
“Well that’s unfortunate, but it’s no excuse to run yourself sick, Lydia. Besides, you said you’d take your brother to the pool this morning.”
“Uh, dad can’t you do that? I’m running really late.”
“I’m going the opposite direction to a meet a client.”
“Okay, well mom-”
“Took your sister with her to go grocery shopping. They left ten minutes ago.”
“Fuck.” I muttered.
“N-nothing. Okay, fine. Where’s CJ?”
“He’s taking the dog for a walk-”
The front door opened and I bolted from the kitchen to the foyer where CJ was humming to himself and unhooking Frank’s leash.
“CJ, get your bag, come on. I have to go!”
“Oh, okay!” He smiled. “It’s actually i-in the living room. I-I brought it down earlier in case t-the s-spider came back. I didn’t want to h-have another run in like that.” He chuckled.
“Okay, yeah sure. Come on.” I picked up the keys to my red Mercedes and both bags and ran outside.
We were stuck in traffic and I tapped the steering wheel impatiently, looking at the clock.
“Fuck.” I hissed.
CJ looked at me from the backseat. “Th-thanks for taking me to the pool, sissy.”
I looked at him from the rearview mirror. “Yeah, no problem.”
“I really appreciate it. One of these days I’m going to c-conquer the diving board.” He chuckled.
I couldn’t help but smile and chuckle. He’s the only twelve year old I know that doesn’t know how to swim yet. He’s scared of the water, yet every Saturday he goes to the pool at a private aquatic club and has swim lessons with a bunch of other kids who are a few years younger than him.
I reached into the glove compartment of my car and pulled out an unlabelled bottle and popped the cap off, poured out a little white pill and popped it in my mouth, downing it with a swig of water from a water bottle I’d left in my car and put the bottle back.
“What’s that?” CJ asked, leaning forward slightly.
“Hmm? Oh, nothing. I have a headache.”
Okay, so every once in a while I take a little speed to help me wake up and stay active during the day, but I only started taking them to get me through exams, once exams are done, then I won’t take them anymore.
I pulled up to the aquatic club and CJ hopped out of the car.
“Hey, remember.” I called to him, “When you hit the water start to hum. It’ll keep the water out of your nose.”
He smiled widely at me. “Okay! Are you picking me up afterwards?”
“Yeah, but my practice goes a little later than your lessons, so you’ll be waiting a little bit afterwards, maybe like half an hour or so.”
“Th-that’s okay, I can wait in the lounge inside.”
“Okay, have fun.” I gave him a smile as I drove off.
I sped off to the gym, cursing under my breath the whole time, and when I got there I ran to the change room to change into my purple leotard with white leg warmers and my beam shoes. Once I was dressed I stuffed my bag into a cubby and raced out into the training room.
“You’re late.” Chloe said softly from where she was sitting on the floor stretching. She was wearing a blue leotard with latching leg warmers.
“Yeah, I know. I slept in.” I sighed, plopping down next to her and started to stretch.
“Did you talk to Shane?”
“Yeah. Well, sort of.”
She cocked an eyebrow, “What do you mean sort of?”
“He told me how he feels about me, and I kind of… I tried to let him down easy, but I never got the chance.” I said as I stretched my legs out to the sides and laid down on my stomach.
“I just didn’t. I had to go home.”
Chloe rolled her eyes as she leaned forward, stretching her back. “I don’t know why you don’t just date Shane, Lyds. You guys are great together.”
“He’s not my type.”
“Alright ladies, let’s go!” Captain Tina called out, clapping her hands.
“What? Totally hot captain of the school soccer team, who everyone loves isn’t your type? Seriously?” Chloe giggled, standing up and held her hand out to me.
“I know. It sounds stupid, but he’s just not my type. He’s one of my best friends, I look at him like he’s my brother, not in a romantic way at all.” I took her hand and stood up, “Why don’t you go for it?”
“What… Me and Shane?”
“Because he’s totally out of my league and is in love with you?” Chloe rolled her eyes.
We separated as we joined the other twelve girls on the team and started to run in place, followed by jumping jacks to warm up. I thought about what Chloe said, about Shane being in love with me. It made me sad, honestly. Shane was a great guy, he really was, but there’s no way I could actually be with him, especially not know with the whole Vinnie thing. Fuck, I just don’t understand why my life has to be so fucking complicated.
After warm up, I started to practice my routine which I got through seamlessly thanks to my little white pill, landing the beam and doing my parallel bars routine perfectly.
I was hyped up by the end of the three hour practice, practically shaking with adrenaline as I changed out of my leotard.
“So, you down for tonight?” Chloe asked me as we walked out of the gym.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh. Oh! Yeah, for sure.” I nodded enthusiastically. “Wait, no. Fuck! My grandparents are here, I’m visiting with them.”
“All night?” Chloe scoffed, “No. We are going to the party tonight and we are getting shitfaced.”
“Wait, hang on.” She stopped me and looked me in the eyes. “Fuck, you’re already shitfaced.” She laughed, “What did you take?”
“A little speed to get me through practice.” I shrugged.
“Shut up. Do you have any more?”
“Yeah in my car, come on.”
Once I got to my car I gave Chloe a pill and we talked while she waited for her mom to arrive.
“You sure you don’t want a drive?” I asked her, bouncing my leg slightly.
“Nah, mom’s here. Have fun with your grando’s.” Chloe giggled as she walked off to her moms car.
I sat in my car in the parking lot for a little while, tripping out slightly before I started to drive home, cursing when I got stuck in construction traffic. I was getting even more exhausted as I drove, practice having taken a lot out of me, so much so that when I got home and parked my car, I fell asleep with my head leaning on the wheel.
A tap on the window woke me up and I jolted up from the shock of the sound.
I turned my head and looked out the window panting. I fumbled trying to get my hands to work and unlocked the car. Dad immediately opened the door and knelt down.
“Were you asleep?”
“N-no. I…” I chuckled, rubbing my eyes. “Yeah, I guess so. Practice took a lot out of me.”
Dad looked in the back and then at me with concern on his face. “Where’s your brother?”
“You were supposed to pick him up after his swim lesson.”
My eyes widened and I gasped. “Oh shit! I totally forgot!”
Dad clenched his jaw and nodded. “Great.”
“I’ll go get him now!”
“No! No, you were just asleep. Go inside, I’ll go get CJ.” He all but growled, walking over to his car. “Your grandparents are coming over soon, go freshen up. Fuck, CJ’s going to be having a panic attack.”
I walked into the house slightly groggy with my legs feeling heavy and made my way up to my room. Pastel purple walls, dark wood floors with a large fluffy white surface rug greeted me. My bed was queen sized, and had a white wrought iron frame and sat on the wall adjacent to the door. I had a large white makeup vanity and matching dresser on the opposite wall, with a large desk in front of the window that had my laptop and a few school things on it, a small, fluffy yellow love seat sat beside my desk that had turquoise throw pillows that matched the duvet of my bed, along with a sparkly pink sequin one.
I got a quick shower in my bathroom, scrubbing away at my skin and washing my hair. Once I finished I quickly blowdried my hair and got dressed in a pair of leggings and a loose fitted t-shirt, walking out to my room, and sat on my bed with my head in my hands.
“My love, what in heavens name were you doing? You were intoxicated and driving around, putting yourself and others in danger.”
I groaned and looked up. “Dude, I really don’t wanna deal with you right now.”
Leaning against the wall in a crisp dark suit, he looked at me with disappointment.
“Now, now Lydia.” He walked over and knelt in front of me, taking my hands. “I’ve told you numerous times, to stop taking that poison and use your smarts to focus. I do wish you’d listen to me.”
I sighed loudly and fell back on my bed. “Yeah, well you try being at the top of your class, top of your gymnastics team, co-leader of the student council, and a perfect little vampire-necro kid. Every once in a while you gotta do something to keep it together.”
He tsk’d at me and sat down on the edge of my bed. “You put too much pressure on yourself, my dear.”
“That poison is only going to hurt you. You are such a smart girl, you don’t need to be taking it.”
I looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I don’t… I don’t mean to disappoint you.”
He chuckled, “You could never disappoint me, I just wish you took better care of yourself, that’s all. How was practice?”
I sat up. “Good.”
“Did you nail your landing on the vault?” His dark eyes sparkled, “Did I use the term correctly?”
“Yes, for once you did. And yes, I nailed it, I always do.” I rolled my eyes with a smile.
“No need to get cheeky.” He elbowed me slightly.
“You could have came today if you wanted.”
“I was busy I’m afraid. I’ll be at your competition though, I promise.”
“Busy? Is she-”
“Yes. I’m doing everything I can to keep her at bay.”
I nodded, bringing my knees up to my chest. “That’s why you’ve been so distant lately, isn’t it? Because of her?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I never thought she’d still be so strong.” He sighed.
“Is she still… After me?” I asked softly.
He reached out and cupped my cheek. “Yes. But we are not letting her break through. So long as the portal remains closed, she’ll not break through.”
He smiled at me and clapped his hands together, “Now then! You’re eighteen, tell me how your birthday was!”
I groaned. “It was good until I got some… disturbing news.”
“You know?!” I gasped at him.
“Yes, we all do.”
“Oh god… Everyone? My parents?!”
“God, when did they find out?” I asked, jumping up.
“When you were young… Heavens, I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought you knew that they knew.”
“No, I didn’t! Nobody ever said anything to me.”
“Did you consummate your binding?”
I turned and looked at him in horror, “Ew! No, that’s disgusting!”
The door to my bedroom opened and I turned.
“What’s disgusting?” Charlotte furrowed her brow.
I clenched my jaw and looked form him to her. “I just saw two squirrels fucking outside.”
“No way!” Charlotte gasped.
He chuckled, covering his mouth with his hand, shaking his head.
“Don’t just walk into my room, Charlee. Ever heard of knocking?” I growled, attempting to push the door closed.
“Lydia, be nice.” He scolded.
“I’m trying.” I hissed.
“Trying what?” Charlotte cocked an eyebrow at me.
“To close the door on you.”
“Well, you sounded like you needed help. Anyway, nanny and grampy are here, mom wanted me to come and tell you.” Charlotte gave me a look.
“Okay, fine. But next time fucking knock.” I said, closing the door.
I turned to him and rolled my eyes.
“Be nice to her, she’s the only sister you have.” He scolded.
“Lydia.” He raised his eyebrows at me.
“I have to go.”
“Yes, as do I.” He nodded.
“Will you come around tomorrow?”
“I will do my best. Keep practicing, and you’ll be able to summon me easier.”
“I’m trying, but I’m literally teaching myself.”
“And you’re getting better everyday, remember that. Don’t give up trying.”
I gave him a smile. “I won’t.”
“Good.” He returned my smile and held his arms out.
I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying his familiar, loving warmth. He pulled away and cupped my forehead.
“Until tomorrow. Remember, practice and be nice to your siblings. Enjoy your visit with your grandparents.”
“Okay. Stay safe out there.”
“I will do my best. You stay safe and away from that poison in your drawer. Goodbye, my dear Lydia.”