I hate him truly with every fiber in my being I hate my papa. I’m still laying on the floor not able to get up as I just lay number and in pain.
“Get up and get out of my sight.” Papa bends down and jerks my arms up. I cry out in pain and stumble out falling to my knees.
“I can’t!!” I scream at him.
I hear feet patters and I look up to see one of the maids has a hand over her mouth and runs away. Gosh, this is so fucking sick and twisted! I didn’t even do anything wrong. My ass, thighs, and back is on fire. I can’t even imagine what it looks like.
“Oh, my baby.” I hear mama come up. Great just fucking great.
“Mama don’t just don’t touch me.” I snap out not meaning to say it like that. The last thing I need is for that evil man to open the door and see her helping me.
“I’m so so sorry.” She cries out. I know she means well she only wants to hold me but I just can’t take that chance of her getting hurt. I don’t blame my mama for this not one bit. This isn’t my mama’s fault.
“It’s okay mama just go back to your room. I’ll be okay.” I tell her between breaths. My entire body is stiff from the whippings for a few minutes ago. I think I stopped counting around 15 because it just became too unbearable to continue counting.
I begged countless for papa to “Stop” and for Darren to “get off of me”. Neither one happened. I grab ahold to the wall and pull myself up and slowly walked towards my room.
I pull my shirt off and the back of it has red splotches. I turn to my full-length mirror and I’m completely horrified at my torn skin and the welts. I slowly trudge out of my leggings and my ass, as well as my thighs, look the same except it’s not bloody. I let silent tears breakthrough.
I run a bath with lukewarm water and step in.
“Arrggghh fuck.” I cry out as the water seeps into my wounds. What have I done so wrong to cause this? I was okay with him hitting me upside my head every now and then and the yelling in my face or slapping me that I got from him but never was it this bad.
I fucking hate him. The feelings that I bottled up at 16 come flooding back and just left nothing inside of me but strong emotions for him. The anger I wish I could hurt him as he hurts us. The Pity because no matter how good of a life he lives he will always be unhappy and miserable. The Hate because no matter what he does a small part of me will always love him as he is my papa.
Honestly, I’ve sat in this tub for so long the water is now cool and my muscles have tensed up. I stand up and wince I step out anyways and grab the fluffiest towel I could find in my cabinet.
I walk into the room and don’t even worry about clothing as I lay on my stomach in bed. I pull the cover-up just to my hips and leave my back exposed.
Sometimes later on I’ve managed to lay on my side and I awake sweating like crazy and in so much pain I clenched my teeth together grinding them. I must be also running a low fever.
I slide out the bed walking to my closet and take out a bottle of pain medicine that I kept just in case something bad would happen.
I read the label hydrocodone take 1 every 6 hours for pain. I had got them when I broke my foot from running down the stairs I slipped and fell.
I walked to the bathroom and popped one in my mouth as I cup water in my hands to Swallow it down. Eh, the taste is disgusting but it’s needed. I pick my phone to see a few missed calls and texts from Cayson. There’s no need in bringing him into this world of craziness. I’d run for my life if someone ever told me it was like this.
How would someone even bring that up in a conversation? “Yeah my papa is an abuser but he gives me everything I need he just has a few issues?” Yeah, fuck no.
If I could kill anyone it would be him. Funny enough I bought that gun to protect myself from others now I might just need it to protect myself from my own papa!
I hear a small knock that I feel like I’m just hearing things. I stand up and walk towards the door and wait to see if I hear it again. *tap* *tap* nope definitely someone is at the door. I hurry and pull my necklace off unlocking my drawer and take the gun out. I hide it behind my back as I slowly open the door.
“This is for you.” A whisper says and pushes a jar of cream in my hand.
“T thank you.” I croak out. My emotions are running high now.
“You’re welcome it’ll get better Am just hold on. Your momma loves you.” The voice says back. I pull my body behind the door as I’m still naked and peek my head out. I stare wide-eyed at Tabitha.
“Come in?” I ask in a whisper.
She steps in and she looks worse for wear also. I gasp at the cut and crusted blood on the side of her lip.
“Am it’s okay. This happens a lot more then I would like to admit but I have to hold off a little longer.” She says putting her head down.
After reading her letter early and now seeing her I know without a doubt she is here against her will. I muffle a sob that racks through my body.
“I I’m so so s s sorry.” I hiccup out loudly.
“Hey no no shush it’s okay. Turn around for me. Yeah?” She says taking my hand guiding towards the bed.
I lay on my stomach as horrible thoughts running through my head. If she here against her will then that means my papa is raping her? Most likely kidnapped her? On top of abusing her. Oh my god, I have to help her out.
I flinch and cry out as I feel her gently rub that cream on my wounds.
“That son of a bitch.” She hisses out.
She makes it to the bottom of my back where I know the torn skin in the worst.
“Wait wait.” I whisper out.
“Hunny I’m sorry but I have to. It’s completely inflamed here. It will get infected if you do not put this cream on. It’s just antibiotics and reduced inflammation cream.” She tells me as I turn my head watching her scoop more onto her small fingers.
“Okay. I’m ready.” I stick my head in the bed and let out a cry as a cooling yet burning sensation runs through me.
“Ahhh.” I shout into my bed.
“I know I know. I’m almost done.” She genuinely tells me as pain in laces in her voice. I feel the medicine that I took slowly kick in.
“I’m so tired and hurting.” I mumble out to her.
“I know hunny we will get out. I promise you and your mother.” She whispers I barely hear her but I do in my dazed state.
I nod off not hearing another thing going into a deep slumber.