I Still Remember

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In So Deep

Jin hadn’t heard from Yoongi in over a week. He was starting to get nervous that he just wasn’t that into him. This is exactly what he was afraid of. With that depressing thought on his mind, he got dressed in some comfy sweats and walked down the street to his favorite coffee shop. He tried not to think of him but the raining day was matching the melancholic pinning in his heart. He wouldn’t call him. He promised himself not to impose or add stress to Yoongi’s life but he wishes he could at least know he was okay. He sits down at a little table with his favorite latte, sweet and with lots of milk. He takes a tentative sip of his hot beverage. It’s sweet and comforting like a warm hug from his crush. Looking out the window he thinks of Yoongi’s milky skin and how it felt to touch him. He recalls Yoongi’s touch, so tender and sweet. How could Jimin hurt him? Who would want to mar such perfection? He opens his laptop to check his mail and get some work done. What he really wants is to look up pictures of Yoongi, but that wouldn’t be a smart thing to do in a public space. He quickly closes his laptop and starts to get up. The caffeine in his system revving him up. He heads home and climbs back into bed with his laptop ready to indulge.

When he got Yoongi’s message, he cried like a baby. Yoongi was asking him to wait for him and accept him how he is and all the baggage that comes with it. Of course, Jin was willing to do that but he didn’t give him a chance to respond. Jin craved to feel his touch again. They had only been intimate once but that was enough to have the memory of his touch seared in his brain. He snuggled into his pillow a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. He remembers Yoongi’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist as they both succumbed to sleep. His phone dinged the familiar noise of a message. Jin stared at his phone. It wasn’t Yoongi. If it wasn’t him, it didn’t matter. He pulled himself up and rested his back on the padded headboard. He wonders what Yoongi is doing right now. He misses those sweet brown eyes and tears start to spill down his face. He resists the urge to call him again. When he is ready to talk, he will call me.

Jimin was a mess especially because Yoongi wouldn’t answer his calls. He couldn’t believe he had walked out on Yoongi. He wanted him back. Jimin pleaded to God to bring Yoongi back to him. He swore he would never hurt him again. He would kill himself before he hurt a hair on his head. Since Yoongi wouldn’t answer him, he went back to their apartment. Yoongi hadn’t changed the lock. Jimin looked around for any sign of him and bitterly came to the conclusion that he must be with Jin. He helped himself to some Soju and sat on the floor looking at photos of them in happier times. He missed the way they were, and he wished it hadn’t changed. In this wreaked state, he drunk texted Yoongi and his bandmates. “I want to die. I don’t deserve him.” He told all of them in a group chat. This set off alarms and every one of them answered him except Yoongi.

“Where are you Jimin?”

“What happened?”

“We love you don’t do it please.”

“We are coming.”

He was bombarded by their concern but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t his love. None of them knew about their recent breakup, but help was on the way. The first to arrive was Hoseok. He barged in the open door with his heart in his throat scared to death of what he might find. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found Jimin on the floor.

“Jimini!” Hoseok yelled and Jimin sobbed, even more, when his friend hugged him.

“What happened?”

“He’s gone!” Jimin said barely audible between sobs. “I want to hold him again.”

“Oh Jimin, I’m so sorry,” Hoseok said sadly. “Where is Yoongi?”

“We broke up.”

He held Jimin tightly in his embrace.

“Jimin, please don’t cry. It breaks my heart to see you like this.”

Jimin looks at him through his tears.

Hoseok is sobbing now unable to control himself anymore. “I’ve always loved you... from the beginning!”

“Why? Why didn’t you say something?” Jimin asks.

“I should have told you but I couldn’t. Not when you only had eyes for him. If I can take it, so can you. You must try, for me. I’ve loved you all this time!”

Jimin pulls his head closer and tentatively kisses him lightly on the lips. Hoseok is surprised by the tenderness of the kiss. He hopes there is a chance for them after all. Hoseok says, “It’s going to be okay Jimin. I’ll stay with you for as long as you need me.”

The others arrived one by one. Jimin smiled and hugged all of them. “I’m so sorry for scaring you. I’ll be okay guys. Hobi is going to stay with me.”

“Where is Yoongi?” They all asked in unison.

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