I Still Remember

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Time On Our Side

I had time to think, but thinking is not all I did. I explored and I wandered. Disconnected from everyone I knew, I took my time and got to know myself you might say. Who is Min Yoongi? I wanted to know. I had always wanted to do a cross-country trip but never imagined I would do this on my own. It was quite liberating to think only of myself for once. I wasn’t running away, I felt I was running towards myself. How can you decide your life path if you don’t really know what you want? I blamed and I forgave and now it’s time for a little peace.

But what is peace? Every time I look around I think I see you and my heart is weak. I know you still have a hold on me. The bruises you gave me were fading but the pain was still fresh. I had loved you so much which gave you the power to hurt me so much. I want a new beginning but not with you of that I am sure now. I’m sorry Jimin. In a way, I still feel that it was somehow my fault. No one feels so insecure that they lash out at someone they love for no reason. If something is wrong with me, if I made you this way, I can’t make the same mistake in the future. I hope I bring out the best in Jin and him in me.

The doorbell ringing is not something you want to hear when you’re in the middle of frying some delicious chicken. Jin rolled his eyes as he turned off the heat on the stove. He walked towards the door cursing himself for the small burn on his finger due to his haste.

“This better be the package I’ve been waiting for,” he tells himself as he hurries to the door in his apron. When he opens the door, to his surprise, he saw standing in the doorway none other than the tired countenance of Min Yoongi. The surprise visit leaves him speechless. Yoongi stands there in a winter coat and a huge backpack by his feet.

“Hyung?” Yoongi says, fearful that he is not welcome, the thought reinforced by Jin’s blank stare.

Jin shakes his head as if to clear the cobwebs and takes a step back into the room. Yoongi follows him in waiting for a welcome or at least a response.

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you,” Jin says not meaning for it to sound so cold.

“I should go. I’m sorry. I should have called you.” Yoongi says apologetically looking down at his feet.

“Please don’t go. But, yes, you should have called me. It’s been a month Yoongi. Don’t you think I was worried about you?”

By the tone of his voice, Yoongi can tell that Jin is angry with him. He takes a tentative step closer and puts his arms around Jin.

“I’m sorry. I missed you. I just got back and wanted to see you.”

Jin’s hand goes up to caress Yoongi’s hair as he continues the hug. “Can you stay for dinner?”

“Yes, something smells delicious.”

“I was making fried chicken when you knocked.”

“Great! I’m starving.”

“Do you ever feed yourself, Min Yoongi? I worry about you. Sit down please.” Jin says gesturing him towards the little table and chairs in the kitchen.

Yoongi plops his tired body down and closes his eyes to the wonderful aroma. Jin returns to his cooking not wanting to bombard Yoongi with questions until he has at least eaten something. He serves Yoongi some fluffy rice and some side dishes to go with the fried chicken. He walks over to the table, in his quest to finish quickly he had not noticed that Yoongi was barely keeping his eyes open. Nodding off every now and then.

“Yoongi, I served you,” Jin said nudging him awake.

“Feed me hyung,” Yoongi said softly closing his eyes again with a little pout.

Jin smiled and got a spoonful of rice placing it by Yoongi’s mouth. “Open.”

Yoongi opened his little mouth wide letting Jin feed him. He chewed so cutely Jin just wanted to kiss his cute doll lips. He slowly stops chewing and opens his mouth again with his eyes closed. Jin couldn’t help staring at his slightly greasy mouth mesmerized. When Yoongi sensed that Jin was distracted, he opened his eyes in protest. “Hey.”

“Oh, sorry baby,” Jin says and continues to feed him and himself enjoying every minute.

“I’m so tired,” Yoongi says stretching like a kitten with a full tummy.

“Come to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow. We have time on our side.”

“Okay hyung. I love you.”

“I love you too baby.”

The End.

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