It wasn't that I needed someone during those times... Or maybe I do. I was in the page of my life where I no longer cared for what people say not their approval or praises. Maybe I was getting old or maybe I just got tired of it all. Everyday is like nothing. I don't feel anything not happiness not sadness not frustrations or even feel angry. It's like a feeling of drifting in the sea and no destination in mind or maybe I've always been living like this.
People my age, being 24, would be living their life to the fullest. Probably getting their dream job or even starting their own family. But for me, I don't have a drive for that. Maybe in the back of my head or when I'm drunk. Thinking about it I might have thought of having my own family when I turn 27 with 4 kids and a loving husband. Living in a two story house with a white picket fence... Or not.
Friends from college often teased me about being an old maid with 50 cats if i continue this type of living. Half of the time they would try to trick me to go out with them to drink and try to get me to hook up with someone. The problem is, those people they're hooking me up with will lose interest in a matter of 5 minutes. I'm not big on talking or getting to know people nor I'm interested in their story either. It would always ends up in an awkward silence and the guy excusing himself which I always prefer he would do since 2 seconds after meeting him. Thus my friends gave up on the idea.
On a windy day February 6, 2018, as I walk down the road from work, a family business to be precised, which was handed over to me by my parents which passed away 2 years ago, I longed to feel something again. Even just a spark of happiness would be nice. But as I passed by the small road towards my apartment, I saw someone on the roadside, someone tall sitting down the sidewalk with half of his body leaning on the cement wall. He might have passed out drunk from a long night of drinking and socializing or was too depressed and trying to drown his sorrow. Meeting him in that day...I didn't know this guy would change my life....