“Your wolf man is over there,” I can hear Ivy say. Now that my position has been given away, I stand from my bed of grass and dirt and walk out into the open.
I’d stayed the night outside in wolf form, dreaming of Blaire all night. The sound of her opening the back door had woke me and I’d been watching over Blaire ever since. She bundled up and was peaceful up until I heard her huff out a frustrated sigh and close her book. She obviously had something on her mind. Next thing I knew she closed her eyes and fell asleep. I hadn’t expected her to just fall asleep, exposed to any predator, especially after her run in with rogues. At least this time, I was around and prepared to take on any foe to interrupt my mate’s sleep.
I hadn’t planned on coming out of my makeshift sleeping space. I was going to stay until morning, leave for a coffee shop, and return knocking at the door bearing gifts. With Blaire, I never seem to keep to a plan.
I focus on my mate. Her cheeks and nose are rosy from exposure to the brisk morning air. Her hair, an adorable mess, glows a similar color to her cheeks in the radiant morning sunlight. I can hear her heart beating a million miles a minute and her eyes seem to penetrate to my very soul. As I draw nearer, her sweet, vanilla scent washes over me and slows me in my tracks as images from last night’s dream rush into my mind’s eye.
I take a moment to try to calm the desire that’s pushing me to drag her to her room and make her mine right now. The best way would probably be to take my eyes away from Blaire, but she shines brighter than the morning sun.
Blaire stays in her chair; her eyes locked on me. If possible, her heart begins running faster, the closer I approach. The blush on her cheeks blossoms to the rest of her face and down her neck. After her reaction to eye contact being so… hot, what I’m about to do next could possibly kill her.
I’m almost to the porch steps, when my bones crack and shift. In the blink of an eye, I’m walking on two legs and wearing as many clothes as I did my first day on this earth. Blaire stares at me in disbelief and her mouth falls open as her eyes travel from my face down. I stride up the steps and right to her. She’s looking off into the woods; her face tomato red.
“I need to talk with you,” I say, reaching out and taking her hand. Her eyes drift shut and I hear her gulp.
“I need to talk to you too, but I can’t when you’re… distracting,” she says, keeping her eyes closed.
I gently pull on her hand, guiding her back inside. As we pass Ivy, she gives me a stern look. I nod my head, hoping she knows I won’t do anything to make Blaire uncomfortable. Ivy replies with an eye roll and small grin.
“Where are we going,” Blaire asks quietly.
“Someplace to talk,” I say and breathe in the scents of the house. I follow her strongest scent trail to her bedroom. Scanning the room, I see two doors to our left, a closet and bathroom.
I turn around to speak to Blaire, but I find her calmly looking at me. I know it’s a facade by the way her heart erratically thumps and her quiet breathes are rushed. Her eyes twitch back and forth between looking at both of mine.
“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” I say after a long moment of silence.
The bathroom was only a small distance from the entrance and once I’ve made it inside I look for a towel. She said I was being a distraction earlier, the least I can do is make talking our top priority by covering up. I snag a plush white towel from the rack and wrap it around my waist, securing it there.
Blaire hasn’t moved from the spot I left her in. She’s leaning against the closed door, eyes down watching her toes. Her head raises when I walk from the bathroom entrance. Again, her smell drags me to her and I find her in my arms with my face in the crook of her neck.
Finally, Remus sighs. The agitation that we both have been feeling vanishes as we inhale our mate’s scent.
“I just need a minute. It’s calming. Unless this makes you uncomfortable, then I’ll let go,” I respond, but she doesn’ t move. A wave of relief washes over me at her not pushing me away.
“So… I talked to Michael about the situation and he wasn’t all that thrilled, as you could imagine,” Blaire starts. I pull back so she knows I’m listening. “And I’m just unsure of where to go from here? You’re always on my mind and I can’t even get a decent night’s sleep without… getting caught up in other things. Even in my daily routines, I find myself doing something and then I’m feeling lost; without you by my side, my mind gets jumbled with thoughts of you. How I can get back to you.
With other guys, I’ve always thought of them and then they’ll fade from mind until I might see something that reminds me of them. Not with you. No, you seem to dominate every idea and concept that comes to mind, every second of every day. It’s the mate bond, isn’t it? Working its magic? How am I supposed to determine between love and-and the bond? It may be human of me, but I want a mutual love and respect and understanding between me and someone before anything rash happens and I don’t feel like the bond is love. It is a mutual attraction, an infatuation, and it may lead to love, but then I feel like I’m trapped, like I’m forced to love you. I-”
“Hold on, hold on, hold on,” I interrupt, holding her at arm’s length so she can look at me fully. “I wasn’t going to interrupt you, but I want to make some things clear. I don’t want you to feel that way. Trapped, I mean. We can keep this at your own pace. We can grow that love before anything happens. It is human of you to say and feel that, but here’s the thing… you are human and that’s what I love about you; you’re thinking and acting on what you’re thinking by telling me how you feel. I am half human and every fiber in me wants the same love and respect in this relationship.
I know I’ve been rather forward in our relationship so far, but that’s just what I’m accustomed to and if you truly are feeling forced, we can take things slower. I want to be as worthy of your love as you have become mine. I hope you know how important you are to me.”
Blaire’s platinum grey eyes scan my face, lingering on my lips. She raises on her tiptoes, but doesn't lean forward to close the distance between us. Shaking her head, Blaire focuses back on my gaze.
“And it's things like this that make me want to kiss you and go against everything I just said about learning to love you first,” she says and her lips part ever so slightly. I think about how lovely they taste and how much I want them on mine, but for now, we’re taking it slow and I can start by showing some restraint now to gain her trust that I can take things slow.
I chuckle. “Maybe I should keep talking like that, I could get you to fall for me faster.” I wink and walk towards her desk chair. “Now, if you are planning on knowing me before falling for me, I guess it’s about time we spend some quality get-to-know-each-other time together. No romantic touching...other than, hopefully, a kiss goodbye.”