The air was starting to warm up as spring was now settling in. Jason and I had spent the day swimming, and were now relaxing in his home. It was a way to celebrate the end of the school year.
Our graduation was only a few weeks away.
To think we’ve already been dating for almost nine months already. I thought my feelings were strong for him when we first started talking, but they were nothing compared to the bond we’ve created since then.
Both physically and emotionally. It feels like we’ve become one.
Of course we weren’t attached at the hip, surprisingly. We each still had our own lives, hobbies, and friends. Which is why our relationship has been so stable.
I was worried at first, when we had first started dating after the Sarah situation. Jason still had girls crushing on him. It made me feel insecure.
That all changed after Jason dramatically shouted he’s in love with me on the school’s news. I was completely mortified.
Jason had a thing for being dramatic.
Like when he asked me to Prom two months ago. Jason was taking Intro to Photography. One of his assignments involved taking pictures of the city life. Naturally, he invited me to go adventuring.
We wandered through parks, tried new foods at different restaurantes, and took pictures of anything that caught our eye until the sun began to set.
That’s when we visited a building that had a room called The Green Room. You had to reserve a thirty minute slot to enter the room.
It was a room full of a variety of plants that overlooked the city skyline. To say I was breathless was an understatement. The moment we walked into the room I was in awe. The air itself was so crisp and clean that my lungs felt rejuvenated.
I walked over to the window that covered the back wall and watched the sun begin to descend behind the city skyline. The orange, pink, and purple hues were a masterpiece.
Jason spoke from behind me, “Hey Kara?”
It was extremely difficult to tear my eyes away from the beautiful scene in front of my eyes. “Yeah?” I barely breathed, not being able to turn away just yet. It was like I was in a trance.
Jason chuckled as he too realized just how enchanted I was. After a moment I felt his arms wrap around my waist. I was engulfed by his warmth. My heart swelled at how perfect this moment felt. Nothing could be more perfect than right now.
“As corny as it sounds.” Jason kissed the top of my head. “I don’t know what’s more beautiful.” My cheeks formed into a grin, not being able to suppress an eye roll as butterflies fluttered within me.
Jason inquired, “The plants or the sun, hmmm.” My jaw dropped as I scoffed. His deep laughter rumbled against my back, but he tightened his grip. “I’m just kidding.” I felt another kiss against the top of my head. “There’s no competition against you.”
My heart melted at the sound of his words. He always said the right things. I turned in his arms and wrapped my own around his neck.
Jason stared down at me, blue eyes swirling with emotion. His golden locks had gotten longer, and hung over his forehead, partially obscuring his eyes.
I leaned up and planted a kiss on his soft lips. Jason pulled away, “Close your eyes.” My head tilted, curious as to why. “I have a surprise.” He added.
Jason always had the best surprises.
I obeyed, screwing my eyes shut tightly. There was some shuffling before I heard Jason return to his spot in front of me.
Jason let out a deep breath, “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”
I did immediately. My lips parted as my eyes scanned the poster Jason was holding. I couldn’t help but get a bit teary eyed as I scanned over the photos of us over the course of the last eight months.
In the center was a font way too neat to be Jason’s that read “Can you picture us at Prom together?” I swallowed the large lump in my throat. Nodding vigorously as I met his gorgeous eyes.
Jason rested the poster against the base of a large plant before closing the distance between us, picking me up. I giggled with glee as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Clinging to him tightly, I wiped away the one joyful tear. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
Jason grinned up at me, planting kisses all over my face. I gripped the back of his hair before giving him a more firm, passionate kiss. Jason moaned lowly against my mouth. I let out a small giggle, knowing how I affected him.
“Do you think we’d get caught if we banged in here?” Jason joked against my lips. How romantic. I mentally scoffed. Although I knew he wouldn’t be against it.
I giggled as I squirmed back on to my feet, “Let’s find out.”
That all felt so long ago.
I’ve felt like a complete princess the entire time. Jason hasn’t changed how he’s treated me one bit throughout these months. I absolutely adored him for that.
We were now leaving high school behind forever, and starting an entirely different journey together in College. I had applied for our local community college to save money. Jason, being an amazing football player, was offered a few different scholarships and was deciding on which one to pick. The deadline was coming soon.
I was snuggled up against Jason’s chest, enjoying his warmth. Small gentle strokes caressed the side of my ribcage as Jason embraced me. “Where do you see yourself a year from now?” Jason asked, catching me off guard.
I shuffled around to face him. Now laying on my right side, I could see his face. His blonde hair was damp from his shower.
A year from now? I blinked a few times before lamely responding, “Finishing my first year of college. Why?” Jason pulled his arms away, sitting up on his bed. I watched him for a moment, stretching out on the bed to ease my limbs.
My eyes wandered his tense back muscles. It was clear his mind was in turmoil. Was he stressing over which college to pick?
My lips parted to respond. “Kara,” Jason spoke first. “This is the talk I’ve been dreading all spring.” Jason finally turned to face me with emotional blue eyes. My stomach dropped. Veins filled with dread, I shifted to sit up.
I knew where this was going.
Jason and I stared at each other, waiting to say something, but our eyes were doing all the talking.
Terrified of breaking down I whispered, “You don’t want to try long distance?” My heart sat in agony as I watched him release a deep sigh.
“I’m going to California, Kara.” My body slumped backwards on the bed, processing this new information. “My dad’s relocating jobs, and he said he’d be willing to help pay for UCLA.”
“Wow,” I breathed, feeling a mixture of emotions. “I’m happy for you.” I forced myself to smile, but it wasn’t hard. I was genuinely happy for him..
“I love you, Kara” Jason reached out to me, but I flinched back. His eyes held sadness. The air in my lungs suddenly felt constricting. “We shouldn’t go into our first year of college holding on to someone thousands of miles away.” The words were like knives to my heart. I blinked a few times to keep my tears back. I should’ve known this was coming with graduation a few weeks away, but I didn’t think it would happen so soon. We still had all summer.
My chest began to feel tight. The knot in my stomach was growing. I never expected this to happen this way. The soft, caring Jason wasn’t sitting next to me. He was gone.
It was like I was seeing a whole new Jason. The pity in his eyes was enough to make me nauseous. He’s been thinking about this all spring? How long had he been searching for the moment to break up with me? A million thoughts raced through my mind.
Instead I questioned, “When do you leave?” Our nine month anniversary would be in June. We wouldn’t be able to celebrate that any longer.
Jason made sure to make every month together special. Now that was gone, too. I began to break my own heart as I began to think about all the moments we’d no longer share together.
“Right after graduation.” Jason watched for my reaction, but I suddenly felt numb to my core. The pain I was feeling was so intense that I began to dissociate.
Like a light switch.
“Okay.” Were the only words I could muster. I suddenly felt void of all emotions. Of everything. I didn’t know what to say or do. I just knew I didn’t want to be here.
I inhaled deeply through my nostrils, but the contraining feeling was making me nauseous. I needed to get out of here. I needed to get away from him so I could release this pent up hurricane of rage and agony.
Jason shook his head, “We can still—”
Getting up from his bed, I walked over to the door before whispering my last words to him. “Goodbye Jason.”
It hurt even more that he didn’t try to stop me as I walked out of his room. A shaky breath left my lips as I walked out into the twilight sky.
The night’s cool spring breeze washed my heated skin. I walked to my car and sat in my seat silently.
As I replayed my last words to him in my mind, the reality of our situation hit me like a whirlwind. A month from now Jason was going to be thousands of miles away from me. I’d be here alone, without him.
I could no longer picture him in my future. We’d have no more firsts together. We now only had a past.
That thought alone was enough to push me over the edge. With my forehead pressed against my steering wheel, I sobbed my eyes out for the first time in months.