“She still looks like a fucking angel. An angel that was sent from both heaven and hell, because as beautiful as she is, she is also a dangerous, tempting sin.”
Life has been testing me today, it seems.
Because had I known that this hurricane of a woman would be here tonight... I definitely would not have left the house.
But I didn’t know. And so it happened, that I simply wanted to catch my breath, have a nice cold whiskey at the bar down the street. What happened instead, though, should be written in the book of irony, because fuck, my heart threatened to tear out of my chest when I noticed the petite girl with unmistakable chocolate brown hair.
She strode in here with purpose, her whole body oozing confidence and self-assurance as she studied the bar, obviously looking for someone. And I swear my heart almost broke apart when she turned around, those gorgeous ocean blue eyes settling on someone at the other end of the bar.
It should be illegal how good she looked. Really. She’s a work of art, one that no Picasso or Rembrandt or Monet on this earth could’ve painted, simply because she is so goddamn unique.
I ended up watching her half the night, observing how she took a couple of shots and then danced with her friend, the way her hips moved to the music, her hair flowing with her motions when she so freely swung to the rhythm... Fuck. It drove me crazy.
And that’s exactly why I decided to leave, just then. Because I knew this woman still had an inexplicable effect on me. A dangerous, but oh so fucking beautiful impact, that shattered my earth, back then, and definitely would do so again if I wasn’t careful enough.
I knew it was the best for both of us, I knew it was wrong on so many levels. And so I paid for my drinks and made my way through the crowd, doing my best to avoid any sight of the fallen angel on the dancefloor.
But as I said, the Gods tested me today, and so it happened that one of my medical interns recognized me, and for some fucking reason thought he should speak to his attending.
“Hey! Dr. Grey!”
He appeared in my peripheral vision, and I tried to ignore him, I really did. But soon enough I felt his hand on my elbow, making me turn around to face him.
I recognized him immediately. I knew who he was, I knew who he was here with, and I knew I definitely should find a way out of this.
“Dr. Esperanza.” I nodded my head at him, trying to be polite.
“Hi! Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you. I just saw you were on your own and was just wondering if you wanted to join us.”
If it wasn’t so goddamn ironic, it really would’ve been a nice gesture. Finn Esperanza was a good and honest doctor, he knows what he’s doing and he has always been very kind to everyone. I stayed away from him, for obvious reasons, but I still couldn’t help but notice just how brilliant of a student he is.
He nodded towards the bar, where I noticed Mia and her friend ordering something. Even though I only saw the back of her black blouse, I simply knew how goddamn good she must have looked, all sweaty and flushed from her dancing act.
“I’m here with my siblings and some friends, I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”
He spoke with almost a shade of hope in his voice, and I couldn’t help but glance at the high table at the other end of the bar, where I spotted Mia’s other brother just a few minutes before. He was luckily otherwise occupied, and I honestly had to suppress a laugh at Finn in front of me, he obviously has no idea who I am to Mia.
“Come on, I’ll introduce you.” He blatantly ignored my silence and basically just pushed me towards the woman I am both fearing and admiring to the bone.
And immediately I felt it again. I knew I shouldn’t. I knew I should’ve just left, but I couldn’t. My mind and body were simply unable to work together.
I guess that’s how it happens that I’m now standing in front of the woman that did it all. I ignore her friend and brother as they speak to me because my eyes are just drawn to her like magnets, and I simply cannot look away from her. They stare me down as soon as she turns around, and I immediately see the pain in them. I literally see how it is being replaced with determination for the duration of our staring battle, both of us obviously trying to find the right way to deal with this situation.
One thing becomes abundantly clear as I have her standing right in front of me now: I’m nowhere near over Mia Esperanza. She has taken over my mind and soul, and I curse myself for being foolish enough to think that I could ever forget her.
And if I thought that watching her for hours prepared me for what I feel as soon as she stands in front of me, I definitely tricked myself.
Because, shit. She looks too stunning to be true, her hair sticking to her forehead from all the dancing, the color in her cheeks making her look more alive than I have ever seen her, and then those glassy ocean blue eyes... God. This woman just... Fuck. She’s even tying my tongue in my head.
It’s obvious she’s still hurt. It’s obvious she’s composing herself when she suddenly speaks to me, those goddamn heavenly blue eyes piercing into mine like they’re trying to pin me to the wall behind me, her voice flat and almost too emotionless to be real.
One single word and I already find myself back on the ledge of that bride, my arms wrapped around her petite body as the strong wind howls around us.
It’s been almost two years, and still it feels like mere minutes ago that she saved my life. Fuck.
“Hello...” I croak out, trying to keep my voice as level as I can.
She surprises me when she doesn’t even react, she just stretches out her hand, and I swear my fucking skin explodes when I shake it, her soft but firm grip sending goosebumps down my spine... Shit.
The fire in her ocean blue eyes pulls me in like a cyclone, burning me alive. And still, I find myself wanting to drown in them. Drown in the fiery pits of desire she holds, letting her passion swallow me whole.
I swear, the only thing that’s keeping me from doing just that is my pounding heart, because I just feel so goddamn exhilarated by her. I’ve missed this feeling so much. The danger. The real spark in her eyes. I just want to bathe in it for the rest of my pathetic life.
“Uh... Okay. Well. Dr. Grey, this is my little sister Mia, she’s uhh... It’s her birthday today.”
Finn’s voice makes me look at him for a split second before my eyes automatically move back to Mia in front of me.
Of course, it’s her birthday of all days. Of course.
Shit. I don’t know how to play this. I can’t just... I shouldn’t... Fuck! I can’t do this. More for her sake than mine. It’s not smart, and it wouldn’t do any of us any good.
Would she believe me if I act like I don’t know her?
“Nice to meet you, Mia. Happy Birthday.”
And I can literally see the blow I just delivered in her eyes, her fingers tense around my hand as she straightens herself up.
It makes me wonder how little she thinks of me. Does she really think I could forget her after what she did for me? Fuck, she must have a low opinion of me. I guess I can’t blame her, I was an asshole, back then.
“Thanks. Nice to meet you, too... Dr. Grey.”
I don’t know if she’s doing it on purpose, but I notice how she emphasizes the use of my medical degree and last name. I’m not buying that she doesn’t know who I am, that’s for sure.
And she confirms my suspicion when she lets go of my hand, because I can just see it in her eyes, the tension between us arriving at its peak when she speaks again.
“Well, have a nice evening, Dr. Grey. It was nice meeting you, please be good to my brother. He means well.”
She even goddamn winks at me before turning around and disappearing out of my sight, her friend blocking my view from her as they move back towards the dancefloor. I’m glad when she comes back into view, and I can’t help but watch when she downs two bottles of beer while I lean against the bar, because holy fuck. I don’t know if my legs would hold me if I tried to stand upright after facing this lioness of a woman.
“Okay, uh, sorry if that was weird... She’s not big on birthdays.”
Her brother turns up right next to me, and I have to admit I almost forgot about him. He orders another beer and nods at the fridge behind the bar, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Want one?” He asks, his eyes still meeting mine. There’s something different about him, even though I can’t exactly place it.
“No, thank you.”
“Alright then... We can go sit with my brothers if you’d like.”
His suggestion almost makes me laugh out loud, because no way in hell am I going to sit with them.
“Thank you, Dr. Esperanza. But I think I should go, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I don’t even let him answer before I turn around, hoping to see that pair of ocean blue eyes again. But of course, I can’t find them anywhere, I only see her friends still standing by the dancefloor, both of them looking a little confused.
And then it’s like I’m moving on autopilot, my legs just carry me to the backdoor of the bar. There’s some sort of pull coming from that direction, and it makes me stride over there with more purpose than I ever owned in my whole goddamn life.
As soon as I open the door do I know she’s here. I can smell the hint of vanilla and cherry as I look around, but only when I quietly close the door behind me do I see her standing a few feet away from it, cigarette in hand and closed eyes, her face directed to the sky like she was trying to feel the stars.
She flicks open the lid of the zippo in her left hand, opening and closing it with a metallic snap, her fingers spinning the cigarette in her right. And I can’t help but just stand there and watch her, the way her hair flows in the gentle spring breeze, her skin almost sparkling from the street lantern a few feet away from her...
I can’t explain what it is, but I suddenly feel very, very humble. Because this woman, right here... Holy hell. She should have her own religion, that’s how much of a goddess she is.
And even with the amount of anger that’s seeping off of her, she still looks like a fucking angel. An angel that was sent from both heaven and hell, because as beautiful as she is, she is also a dangerous, tempting sin.
Because I’m wading through the goddamn garden of Eden, and she’s the forbidden fruit, tempting me with her beauty, her spirit, and that mindblowing attitude of hers.
She flicks the zippo again, this time sparking up a flame which she then immediately suffocates with the metal lid, the cigarette still flicking around in her other hand.
“You know these things will kill you, right?” I speak before I even think. Fuck.
Her eyes snap open and immediately find mine, the intense blue eyes diving straight into my soul as she just stands there and studies me for a second.
“You know that, of course... Doctor.”
She emphasizes that last word again, her eyes still piercing into mine. It’s an unwavering gaze, one that states who is in charge of this situation.
“I’m sure you know that as well, Mia.”
There’s a silence surrounding us after I speak, the only sound being the dampened music resonating through the door next to us. It’s a deafening silence, one that stresses my raging heartbeat.
“I do.” She concurs, and then she just lights the cigarette before she stores the zippo back in her purse, the strings hanging loosely over her shoulder.
“Can I help you with something, Dr. Grey, or are you just here to watch me kill myself?”
And even though she hasn’t mentioned my first name yet, I know that she knows who I am. The ambiguity of her statement shows that, and the way her eyes chase mine is the same I’ve seen before. It’s threatening, but oh so fucking beautiful.
Her gaze is still piercing into me, unsettling me to my very core, the weight of her words flowing heavily in the air surrounding us. She only averts her gaze to study the cigarette in her hand, watching how the ash falls to the ground as she taps it gently.
I don’t fail to notice that she never takes a drag, she just studies the burning paper of that killing machine in her hand.
And I don’t even know what to say to her. I don’t even know why I’m here, why I’m talking to her. I know I shouldn’t. I know I should just leave her alone.
But it just seems like I fucking can’t.
“I just...” My mouth starts moving, but I can’t formulate a coherent sentence.
But I can take a step forward without even realizing it, the smell of vanilla and cherry mixed with smoke and tequila giving this whole situation a dangerous vibe. Not that it wasn’t dangerous as hell already.
“I...” I start once again, and once again I can’t finish my sentence, but I do take another step forward, my body only inches away from hers now, her crystal blue eyes still chasing mine as she lifts her head to meet my gaze.
“What are you doing?” Her question is bold, strong, and determined.
What the hell am I doing?!
“I... I don’t know.” I answer truthfully.
She studies me for a second, her fingers disposing of the cigarette in the ashtray next to her.
And then she does something I don’t expect, even though I should know to expect the unexpected with this woman.
Because she just takes a step towards me, that fire in her eyes raging even more intensely than minutes before, and then she places one hand on my chest, the impact almost making me stumble backward.
I’m having trouble regulating my breathing, her hand on my chest electrifying me, pinning me to my spot. It’s like someone shoved a defibrillator on my bare chest, the impact of her body touching mine being so intense. But then she makes it worse, her fingers gliding upward, the gentle taps of her fingertips mimicking my heartbeat, each brush of her skin on the fabric of my clothes feeling like lightning bolts straight to my already struggling heart.
“Do I make you nervous, Dr. Grey?”
Her voice is seductive but strong, everything about her body is charged and oozing power as well as fire as she stares me down, obviously intent on burning me to the ground.
I can see the smirk playing on her lips when she hears my answer, her finger gliding further up until it brushes against my neck and then rests beneath my chin. She captures it between her index and thumb, the feeling of her skin on mine making me feel weak to the knees. Because that’s just what Mia Esperanza has always done to me. She disarms me, sees my naked soul and knows what it craves, what it needs to survive.
She gets on her toes and pulls me down with the fingers on my chin, and I can’t help but gulp when she fists my shirt with her other hand, her lips brushing along my neck until they’re at the sensitive spot behind my ear. I can’t suppress the shiver that runs through my whole body when I feel the vibration of her voice against my skin.
“Do you feel my breath on your skin, Dr. Grey?”
Her voice is so sweet and tempting, the scent of her body travels to my nostrils as I take a deep breath.
Jesus Christ, what on earth is happening right now.
How did we even get here?
“Do you feel how warm I am?” She strengthens her words by placing her palm on my neck, exerting pressure and warmth against my skin. I’m sure she feels the thundering pulse in my carotid, and it seems like it fuels her even more, because suddenly she digs her nails into the nape of my neck, pulling me even closer to her.
“I... You...” There’s a hint of a grin on her face when I stammer my reply, suddenly feeling like an absolute imbecile.
“What is it, Dr. Grey? Cat got your tongue?”
And like on cue her tongue grazes my ear love, sending an almost aggressive shiver through my body. I can’t help but brace my hands on the wall behind her, caging her in - even though I am sure that I’m the caged animal in this scenario.
Because Mia Esperanza is a predator, hunting me down and capturing my body and soul with little to no effort. That’s just what she does to me.
“Do you want me?”
She suddenly pulls back, her blazing eyes now shooting hot, flaming fire at my soul, and I can literally see the lava running through her veins when she stares me down.
“Do you, Dr. Grey?”
It takes everything within me not to claim her lips right now, and when I speak I can hear the tremor in my voice, the impact this woman has on me should be visible to anyone in a two-mile radius.
“You know the answer to that...” My statement is bold, completely contradicting how my body reacts to her.
And then she fucking smiles at me, a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes but is still so goddamn powerful, that I want to fall to my knees from the sole sight of it.
“Do me a favor.”
She pushes me against the wall while she speaks, her body pressed against mine as she gets on her toes to meet me at almost eye-level, her lips less than an inch away from mine now. Her breath travels down my skin when she speaks, and I find myself inhaling deeply, just wanting to take her in as much as I can.
“Stay the fuck away from me, Lincon Grey.”
And with that she gets back on her feet, pushes me flat against the wall and just walks away without even looking back, the only evidence of what occurred just now being the clacking of her heels on the pavement, and the dangerous mix of vanilla and cherry with smoke lingering in the air.