Stay In Your Room
Chat Song: ‘Leave Your Lover’ by Sam Smith.
“Pack up and leave everything. Don’t you see what I can bring? Can’t keep this beating heart at bay. Set my midnight sorrow free, I will give you all of me. Just leave your lover, leave them for me.”
Sunday May 17 2020
Lexie’s location: Sitting on her bed.
Se: Is that you up there?
(Lexie knows that Sean is referring to her profile picture which is of her dressed in black leggings and a T-shirt, standing next to her sister, Lola.)
Se: Damn...and who is the little girl next to you?
L: My sister.
Se: I am loving your outfit, though. I’d love to see you in leggings on Sunday. You have nice hips. Damn. It’s hot.
Se: 😅Sorry, am I being inappropriate again?
L: A little.
(Lexie cannot shake off the fact that when Sean speaks dirty to her, it offers a different feeling than when Josh does it. Josh makes it feel serene and romantic, but Sean’s way evokes a feeling of disgust within her. She is already annoyed by him.)
Se: Oh shit, I’ll stop baby. Can I call you baby?
(He is unaware of the fact that Lexie is currently rolling her eyes.)
L: No. I don’t like it. Call me Lexie.
Se: Okay Lexie, my sexy😉😏
(She wants to take the chance at getting over Josh, but she is not sure she can bear this. Sean is extremely annoying, and she cannot believe this was the guy she priorly had a crush on. She must have had quite an impaired judgment.)
(Instantly, Josh’s name with the little ‘smiley-face’ emoji that she set beside it, pops up onto her screen. She exits Sean’s chat to open his message.)
J: Sean? Really, Lex?
(She narrows her eyes, wondering how on earth he knows that she is currently corresponding with Sean.)
J: So you can text Sean but my messages have been growing cobwebs in your dm for hours?
L: I was at church.
J: And are you at church now?
J: Exactly. You are home and you are texting Sean. The same guy who kept sending you inappropriate texts.
L: Who told you that? And what is the difference? We send inappropriate texts to each other too, don’t we?
(Lexie is unable to control her sudden urge to be saucy.)
J: Seriously, Lex? It is fucking different.
L: How is it?
J: He wants to fuck you; since you wanna hear the truth raw and rough, I’ll tell it to you raw and rough. He just wants to fuck you and leave you. I am looking out for you, stay away from him.
L: I will not.
J: Don’t play with me, Lex.
L: I’m not playing with you. All the playing ended last night, didn’t it?
(Lexie shuts her eyes. She wishes she could take those words back. Josh is now going to think that the reason for her pettiness is because he told her they couldn't sext anymore.)
J: Is that what this is about?
J: It is, isn’t it?
L: It’s not. I don’t care for sexting with you...I didn’t even enjoy it in the first place.
(She inwardly cringes at her blatant lie. She enjoyed it; a bit too much.)
J: Really. You didn’t?
J: Swear it.
L: I can’t do that, I just got home from church and I heard swearing is wrong.
J: You think I should believe that? You told me you were turned on.
L: I wasn’t. I lied.
J: Yet I made you came two nights ago, and a few nights before that. Via video chat; just by talking and whispering dirty things to you. You shook and trembled so hard, Lex. Do you remember that?
(She almost chokes on air. Her eyes widen as a wave of heat rises to her face. How can Josh bring that up so causally? She becomes shy just from thinking about it, but he mentions it quite easily as if it is nothing. When she finally gathers her senses, she types her response with quivering hands.)
L: I faked that too.
J: You didn’t. I felt everything. When your eyes rolled to the back of your head...when you moaned...I felt it with you, and it was real. So don’t lie to me.
(Lexie’s face reddens.)
J: Don’t go out with Sean. I am protecting you.
L: If I do?
J: Then Sean will get hurt.
L: You’re being exaggerative. You wouldn't do anything, Josh.
J: I would. Don’t underestimate me. Maybe you will believe me ‘in person’. I’m coming over now. Stay in your room.
“Oh, I’m in love with you and you will never know. But if I can’t have you, I’ll walk this life alone. Spare you the rising storm and let the rivers flow. You’ll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain. Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call their name."—Sam Smith.