What Are We?
Chat Song: ‘Playing Love’ by Isak Danielson.
“We’re just playing love, and you play with love. When you’re holding my heart this way you’re just tearing my heart in two.”
School is finally out for Summer, and Lexie couldn’t be any more relieved. It has been a long week, and she had used up all her energy on concealing her recurrent blushes around her best friend. Joshua didn’t seem awkward even though their friendship has taken quite a mystifying turn, but Lexie felt agitated and apprehensive, constantly wondering if he was noticing how nervous she was each time they made eye-contact. It was absolute torture.
She throws her knapsack onto her bed and flumps down with a tired sigh, lifting a leg to slip her grey sock off. Crinkling her toes, her phone buzz from beside her, and she chews on the inside of her cheek as she takes it up.
Se: Well, you ignored me all week. How nice.
She purses her lips guiltily. Admittingly, she has been avoiding Sean all week, mainly because she has no clue what to say about what Joshua did the other night. Snatching her cellphone and ordering a guy not to call her back was a very boyfriend thing to do, and she feels as if Sean is now suspecting their so-called friendship.
Even a toddler would think that something is going on between them. Well, there is but it is way too confusing and Lexie cannot find an appropriate term to describe it. They aren’t lovers...but they aren’t friends either. Friends don’t kiss and touch each other.
Whenever she would spot Sean at school, she would immediately take the opposite route. The fortunate fact that they do not share any classes aided in her case greatly, and lucky for her, Sean was much too occupied with his football friends to seek her out.
Lexie also noticed that for the entire week, Selene has kept her distance from her. She doesn’t mind though; the girl has proven to be quite self-centered and judgmental and Lexie has too much on her plate to deal with her narcissism.
What she is unaware of though, is that Selene has a lingering card up her sleeve; one she is yet to use. She decided to delay sending that sexual audio to Sabrina; wanting to play around with it a bit more before she does. She has malicious plans for her friend, and Lexie is oblivious to this.
Sighing in exhaustion, she puts her phone down and moves toward her bathroom for a much-needed shower. The cool water relaxes her anxious muscles as it trickles down her body, and she finds her thoughts traversing right back to Joshua.
His eyes...his lips...
She shakes her head, pushing her hair back as she shuts her eyes. She allows the water to penetrate her face, hoping it will wash away the forbidden feelings.
He’s taken and kissing another girl’s boyfriend is just low. She tells herself.
But that doesn’t erase the vivid images of him. Humans are like that. The thought of something being wrong for us makes us want it even more. It is a psychology thing. Which is probably why most girls fall for the bad guys.
But Lexie doesn’t care about psychology, she desperately wants to get over Josh. She needs to turn these feelings off. Sadly, she doesn’t know where to start. Love isn’t a switch that you can turn on and off. It’s completely out of your control, like a parasite, slowly eating away at your heart and taking complete governance of your mind. And it hurts. It hurts Lexie so much.
She swallows the burn in her throat before switching the shower off.
She wraps a towel around herself and returns to her room. Pulling out her drawers, she digs for a fresh suit of clothes, finally settling with a floral skirt and a white T-shirt.
Her mom works late on Fridays and normally Lola waits for her at the hospital until she’s through. Enjoying the tranquility of being alone, Lexie makes herself some cereal and hops into bed, reaching for her remote and switching the Tv on. She begins to watch an episode of 13 Reasons Why on Netflix, just before her phone vibrates from her pillow. She places her bowl on her nightstand before picking her cell up, noticing that it’s a text from Joshua. Her face reddens.
J: Hey 😊
L: What’s up?
J: Playing video games. I’m already bored a’f.
L: Lol. Me too. I’m home alone.
L: Yeah...why that emoji?
J: Nothing at all...
(Joshua has a giant smile on his face, jerking his legs as he lays his head against his mahogany headboard. There is just something about talking to Lexie that sets his mood in a happy place. His thoughts regress to that unfamiliar feeling he got in her room that night and he twists his lips thoughtfully. He has no idea what it meant, but all he knows is that the feeling was quite intense.
A message pops up onto his screen from Sabrina, and he exits Lexie’s chat to tap on his girlfriend’s message.)
Sa: Babe. I miss you😭❤️
J: Miss you too.
Sa: Come over.
J: I’m not sure I can...I am extremely tired, babe.
Sa: Alright. It’s okay, baby. What are you doing?
(You just got a message from Lexie.)
(A smile resurfaces his face as he slides out of Sabrina’s chat to tap on Lexie’s.)
L: LIAR. You wouldn’t send that emoji for no reason.
J: Lol, okay. I sent it because...maybe I wanna come by.
L: You wanna come over?
L: Right now?
J: Yeah. And maybe we could watch a movie together. One of your choice.
J: I wouldn’t kiss you again...if you wouldn’t want that.
(Joshua isn’t aware that Lexie is currently blushing at the message he just sent. When she doesn’t reply after a minute, he sends another.)
J: Just to watch a movie. No touching, I promise.
L: I don’t know...being together in a room is dangerous.
J: What do you mean?
L: You know what I mean, Josh.
J: Lol enlighten me.
L: Things will happen.
(Joshua pulls his lower lip between his teeth, lust covering his amber eyes.)
J: Things like what?
J: Lol. Things like what?
J: No, I want to know. Things like what? Kissing...Touching?
(He smiles at his screen, noticing a pause before Lexie begins typing again.)
J: It won’t. And even if it does, wouldn’t you want it too?
(Lexie pauses yet again, and Joshua is wondering what’s on her mind. He watches as she types then stops, then starts typing again.)
L: I don’t know.
J: You do know. You’re just scared to say.
L: No. I am just scared, period.
J: What are you scared of?
L: All of this.
J: Well, I am not.
J: I want to see you.
L: I don’t know if that’s a good idea.
J: It is.
L: No, it isn’t.
J: Yes, it is. You know you want to see me too.
L: Joshua, stop. You don’t want to watch a movie; you know that’ll never be possible if we are here alone.
J: Fine you’re right. I lose my mind whenever I am around you.
(The blue ticks beneath his message show that she has read it, but her response delays so Josh sends another.)
J: To be frank...I can’t forget how your lips tasted...and you have a very nice chest. They were the most beautiful pair I have ever seen. You’re sexy, Lex.
L: ...I am not and they weren’t the most beautiful pair you’ve ever seen. You’re exaggerating, Joshua.
J: I am not. They were really beautiful. So pink...and so perfect.
(You just got a message from Sabrina.)
(Josh curses under his breath. He totally forgot that he is yet to respond to his girlfriend. He leaves Lexie’s chat to see that Sabrina has left a series of texts on his phone. )
Sa. You’re online and you’re not replying to me. 😔😢
Sa: Why aren’t you answering?😥😓
Sa: What’d I say?
(Joshua sighs, rubbing the corner of his eyes with his thumb and index finger.)
J: Sorry, babe.
Sa: What were you doing? I was waiting here for over ten minutes and your status showed that you were online yet no response.
(Feeling a tinge of guilt, he fabricates an excuse.)
J: I was in the bathroom, sorry.
Sa: It’s okay. As long as you’re here now. Do you want us to Facetime? I am so sexually frustrated right now. I am only wearing lingerie and I need you.
(You just got a message from Ian.)
J: Ian just texted me, give me a minute, babe.
Sa: Sigh. Alright.
(Joshua taps onto Ian’s message.)
I: Dude. What the fuck? You and Lexie had sex?
(He blinks his eyes in confusion before quickly tapping a response.)
J: What the hell are you saying, Ian?
I: Jay, there is this sex audio of you and some girl, who people keep saying is Lexie, circulating all over the damn internet. The Football Team’s Whatsapp group is blowing up. Aren’t you seeing the messages?
J: Woah...hold up. What?
I: The thing is all over Facebook, Instagram and people are even making TikTok voiceovers with it. What the hell man, why’d you record that shit?
J: I don’t think I understand what you’re saying.
(Ian sent you an audio file.)
Joshua quickly sticks his earphones in and begins to play the clip. He narrows his eyes as he listens, then they slowly widen in awe as the color drains from his face. Without a doubt, the two voices belong to him and Lexie and it is from that very night in her room.
Lexie’s moans can be heard as clear as day, and he stiffens in shock as he presses a fist to his mouth. Shit. How on earth did they get this?
Joshua is known to be popular among girls and although he has a girlfriend, he is still rumored to be quite a womanizer. This ordeal will only be a stripe to his ‘commendable’ reputation but for Lexie? This will be denting her image so badly.
J: Shit. Who recorded this??
I: I have no idea, it’s circulating all over social media. They now have Lex labelled as “Slutty Lexie.” Sigh.
J: FUCK. You’re good at Computer Tech, can’t you track the first server that sent it out or something??
I: That’s not easy to do, Joshua. I have no idea where to start.
(Lexie has sent you a message.)
(Joshua shuts his eyes, blowing his cheeks out before leaving his friend’s chat to open Lexie’s.
And what he reads, causes his heart to break.)
L: How could you do this to me, Joshua????😢💔
"You’re just tearing my heart in two."- Isak Danielson.