It's Just Lust
“Figures, I gave you ride or die and you gave me games, love. Figures, I know I’m crying cause you just won’t change. Figures, I gave it all and you gave me shit. Figures, I wish I could do exactly what you did.” —Jessie Reyez.
Chapter Theme Song: ‘Figures’ by Jessie Reyez.
Josh has been sitting in his car outside of Sabrina’s gates for almost an hour now; he’s going to be late for Football practice at this rate. She’s being quite selfish since he did inform her that he had somewhere else to be. He can’t help wondering if she’s making him late intentionally. Perhaps as a vindictive payment for confessing his feelings for his best friend.
He decides to shoot her a text:
Five minutes later...
J: I am going to be late if you don’t come now. Where are you?
Sa: I can’t find my pearl earrings.
J: Jesus. Just choose a different kind.
Sa: It’s the only one that matches my white top.
J: White can match with any color, Sabrina. Just choose a different pair. I am running late.
(Rolling his eyes, he glides out of her chat and opens Lexie’s.)
J: What are you doing, princess?
L: Making lunch for Lola and me.
J: Leave mine😜
L: How you gonna get it?
J: I’ll drop by there after practice.
L: Lol with your sweaty self? Please ensure to take a shower first😂
J: Oh I will take a shower. At your place.
L: My place?
J: Yeah, both of us could shower together. 😏
(Joshua notices how Lexie begins typing, then stops, then starts typing again, and he smiles at the fact that she probably got dumb stricken by the message he just sent.)
L: We can’t do that.
J: Lol. Why not?
J: Why not?
L: My sister will be here all day.
J: So you’re saying that if your sister weren’t there, we could shower together?
J: 😏Yes or no?
L: Maybe, I am not sure. I am very insecure about someone else seeing my naked body.
(Josh begins to type his reply, but Lexie sends another message.)
L: Oh my God! I’ll be right back, Josh.
J: What’s wrong??
(Lexie has gone offline.)
He narrows his eyes worriedly then clicks the call icon and begins to phone her, hoping she’s alright. But after a few rings, the door to the car pulls opens and he quickly ends the call as Sabrina slides in next to him, her strawberry-scented body spray filling the air-conditioned space.
Josh fixes his white cap onto his head, trying to hide the feeling of guilt coursing through him as he places his phone on his lap. He looks over at her as she settles into her seat, pushing her face forward to connect their lips. He subtly shifts his face a little so that her lips land on the side of his mouth.
“You smell great. As usual.” Sabrina smiles, flipping her brown hair over her shoulders and straightening her white tank top. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”
Josh just wants to get to the point. He needs to end this now so he and Lexie can be together without restraints. He can’t wait much longer.
“Can we talk about what I wanted us to talk about now?”
Sabrina rests her duffel bag on the backseat then pulls down her mini jean skirt anxiously. “Okay...”
“Alright. See, the thing is...” Josh rolls his head back against his headrest, observing her through his lashes. “I was doing some thinking...and I feel like maybe we should take a break?”
The color immediately drains form Sabrina’s face, and he notices how pale she has become as he swallows anxiously, fidgeting in his seat. “You know what I mean?”
“Break?” Her voice quivers noticeably. “W-what do you mean by a break?"
It is pretty self-explanatory, but she refuses to believe he means what she knows he means.
He rubs his forehead, praying she doesn’t start to break down again like the other night. He can’t handle the drama; it has just been too much for him lately.
“A break...up. Actually,” he straight-out clarifies.
Sabrina’s bronze eyes slowly become moist. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“You know, Sab. Sometimes, we date people at a young age, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we will stay with them forever.” Josh gesticulates with his hands, hoping it will aid in convincing her to let him go. “At fifteen, I was a lot younger. And you were too. So, we were just experimenting on love and feelings. What a person thought would be good for them at that moment, may differ when they become older. I loved you, a lot but I kind of feel like this isn’t what I want anymore and so I think we should—”
“This is about Lexie, isn’t it?” Sabrina interjects.
Josh blinks. “Well, not—”
His phone immediately lights up as Lexie’s name shows on the caller’s ID. Sabrina’s eyes drop to the device and her face reddens with anger.
“It is because of this bitch, isn’t it?!” She reaches for the phone and Josh grabs it from her, his eyebrows clutching together.
“Don’t call her that.”
“You keep siding with her! I am your girlfriend! We have been through so much together so you can’t do me like this, Joshua!”
“Sabrina I am sorry. I love her and I have been trying to control it, but I can’t. I am really sorry. But this is just the way it has to be.”
“I gave you all of me! Everything! I don’t know what else you want me to do!”
“Nothing. I don’t want anything. That’s what I am trying to tell you. We have grown apart; it sucks but I can’t pretend that I feel the same. It’s not fair to you —to us. If I stay, I am gonna be unfaithful. I want to leave before you hate me any more than you do now.”
“No.” She shakes her head.
“I don’t care if you don’t love me anymore. I won’t let you go. Ever.”
Josh’s forehead creases at this and Sabrina suddenly begins climbing over onto his lap, causing him to shake his head as he writhes away.
“You’re mine, and mine only.” She begins to kiss along his neckline, rotating her hips against his groin while she does. Her hands find their way between them as she begins to fumble with the buttons on his jeans.
Josh grabs her hands disapprovingly. “Stop, Sab. I can’t.”
She replies to him by twisting her wrists from his hold and lifting his shirt, his toned torso coming into view as she lowers her lips onto his skin. He curses under his breath as his head falls back and she reclines his seat so that he’s now lying down flat while she undoes his pants. Josh’s head is now clouded with hormones. His brain wants to stop but his body won’t let him.
She dips her hand into his jeans, slipping her slender fingers into his boxers and groping his erection in her hands. Moving her palm up and down his length, Joshua’s eyes fall shut as he lets out a harsh breath.
“Fuck.” He breathes. Not only from pleasure but also from the fact that he’s about to mess up...big time.
|| Lexie’s location: Lying on her bed and rereading the messages she sent to Josh, wondering how he hasn’t responded yet.
L: I was fine earlier, just almost burnt the food. Lol.
L: Are you there?
L: I noticed you were calling me. I was trying to call you back.
L: Are you still coming?
(Lexie sighs and reaches for her remote, turning her TV on when her phone buzzes with a text, finally.)
L: Where are you?
J: I just got home.
L: Home? I thought you were going to come by here today?
(She finds it odd that he would change his mind just like that without notifying her.)
J: I couldn’t.
L: Why not?
J: Please don’t hate me.
L: What are you talking about?
J: I couldn’t come by to see you because I felt guilty. I am sorry.
(Her eyebrows furrow.)
L: Why? About what?
J: Don’t be mad.
J: Give me a minute, I am going to share some dinner for my little brother and when I come back I’ll tell you.
L: Okay. Tell your mom I said hi.
J: She’s at work. Only Jaden and I are here.
J: I’m coming, don’t leave😘
(Lexie smiles at the emoji as she turns over onto her stomach. For the first time, she doesn’t feel like crying her eyes out because of it, now that it finally means that he genuinely likes her intimately. Then a message pops up onto her screen from Sabrina.)
(She takes a deep breath before responding.)
Sa: How are you?
L: Good. You?
Sa: Amazing. I am so happy to have a female friend that I can share my thoughts with. It’s a privilege.
L: Yeah. Sure is.
Sa: How was your day?
L: Good. Yours?
Sa: Very good 😏🙈
Sa: It was quite one heck of a day. So, Josh swung by at one to pick me up for my ballet class, right?
(Lexie narrows her eyes.)
Sa: And we were talking in the car, and then we did the most spontaneous thing ever😂🙈I still can’t believe it.
Sa: When you get a boyfriend, you should try having sex in a car. It’s amazing.
(She stares at the message on her screen for a while.)
L: You and Josh did that in his car today?
Sa: Lol yeah. It was awesome! 😍😜
(Lexie feels her hands shaking. She was right. Nothing can ever come between them.)
(Before she knows it, liquids of agony begin to wet her phone screen.)
Sa: Don’t tell him I told you. He told me not to tell you, I am not sure why though🤷♀️
[Lexie just received a message from Josh.]
J: Hey, he says he’s not hungry. Smh.
J: 😐I told you I don’t like that ‘k’ thing.
L: Well, Joshua. There are a lot of things that you do that I also don’t like. And playing me for a fool is one. And you keep doing that a lot lately, and I am getting so tired of it.
J: Woah. Where is all this coming from?
L: I think we should just stop doing all of this.
J: Lexie, please, not again.
L: Honestly, this is stupid. And I am only hurting myself. You have a girlfriend too, so let’s just stop texting each other like we are in love or something.
J: But we are in love. I love you.
L: Lol. You don’t. Trust me.
J: I love you, Lexie.
L: You don’t! You can’t love two people at the same time and if you felt something for me you wouldn’t have had sex with Sabrina today.
J: 😳wow. Who told you that?
L: It doesn’t matter. I have no right to be angry anyway, she’s your girlfriend. It’s just that I am finally realizing how much time I am wasting. I am done.
J: We did not have sex, Lex. We didn’t, I swear.
L: You don’t need to explain.
J: Just listen. Please just listen.
(Lexie has gone offline.)
J: Lex :( Just hear me out and stop running away. Please just listen to me.
Two minutes later.
J: Lexie. Can you just hear what I have to say? Please, give me a chance.
J: Sighs. Look, she used her hand...but we didn’t have sex.
L: Used her hand as in?
J: Hand job.
(And it’s still painful for Lexie.)
J: And she tried to take it further, but I stopped her. I am so sorry. It was pure lust. That’s all it was. Lust.
L: I am done, Joshua. I need to keep what’s left of my purity for the boy who will genuinely love me.
J: What???? What boy are you talking about??
L: My future husband.
J: Fucking seriously?
J: Are you kidding?
L: No I am not.
J: Wtf. How can you say that to me?
L: It’s facts.
J: Woah. That fucking hurts.
L: Welcome to the club.
J: ...do you honestly mean that????
L: Yes. Come to think of it I think Ian would make a better crush.
J: What the fuck. Don’t. Don’t even go there!
L: Don’t curse at me, and I am not lying. He’s cool and he respects me, as far as I can see.
J: Respect you? The dude met you alone once and kissed you. You barely even know him.
L: We have been texting.
L: And I think he’s a nice person.
J: I can’t believe this.
J: Tell me you’re playing around.
L: I am not. Not everyone plays around like you.
J: Do what you want! 😒
L: I will.
(Lexie has gone offline.)
J: I am sorry.
J: I didn’t mean for that to happen today.
J: I love you and I need you.
(Joshua curses aloud and exists her chat, sending Sabrina a text.)
J: What on earth did you do????
(Sabrina responds right away as if she has been waiting for his message.)
Sa: Hey baby. I am about to have dinner, what are you doing?
J: Were you the one who told her about today?
Sa: Sigh. Yes.
J: Why would you do that????
Sa: She deserved to know. You claim that you love her, why didn’t you tell her??
J: I was about to. Wtf, you’re being so manipulative. We didn’t even have sex.
Sa: But you enjoyed the hand job though😌
J: Oh you bet I did. Just so you know, I was thinking about Lexie while you were fucking doing it.
Sa: YOU ASSHOLE!!!!
J: Yeah, I know, which is why I will make this easier for you. We are done, Sabrina. Me and you are over.
(And he throws his phone down before pressing his face into his hands. He’s so done with her.)
“I wish I could hurt you back. Love, what would you do if you couldn’t get me back? You’re the one who’s gonna lose something so special, something so real.” —Jessie Reyez.
A/N: Next update coming soon, stay tuned for more!♥️
Other Books By Me:
•Show Me, Sensei (Can be found on my profile.)
•Rescue My Drowning Heart.
•Then You Look At Me.