But You Say I’m Just A Friend
Chat Song: ‘Photograph’ by Ed Sheeran.
“Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes. But it’s the only thing that I know. When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes, it is the only thing that makes us feel alive.”
Sunday May 10 2020
Lexie’s location: On the couch, in her living room.
S: Yessss, how are ya’?
S: 👀Who pissed my friend off?
S: You pissed yourself off?
S: 😐That makes no sense.
L: I betrayed myself. I have started having feelings for the one person in the world that I shouldn’t have feelings for.
S: Mm. Let me guess....Josh?
L: I know...
S: Get rid of it.
L: I can’t, he keeps sending me these heart emojis that keeps getting my hopes up😭
S: Tell him how you feel.
L: I DEFINITELY cannot do that.
L: Because I told him I don’t like Sean anymore and that I now like someone else. He asked me who it is and I said ‘You.’
S: 😳And what was his response?
L: “Lol. What?”
L: I had to pretend that Lola was the one who wrote it.
S: Damn. Did he buy it?
L: I don’t know.
L: That’s why I can’t tell him, Sel. He makes it clear every day that he loves Sabrina.
S: How about this? I’ll text him right now and ask him if he has ever thought about dating you or if he has ever had any feelings for you and see what he says.
L: No Sel, he’ll think I am the one who told you to ask him, don’t do it.
S: He won’t know, I’ll start up a conversation first and then I’ll let it naturally flow in.
L: Okay but don’t let him know that you’re texting me.
S: 😉I got you, I got this
(Lexie bites her nails as an anxious habit. She exits Selene’s chat and opens Josh’s, noticing that his status says ‘Online.’ Scared of the outcome, she suddenly feels the urge to tell Selene not to do it but a part of her is insanely curious about what his reply would be.)
Joshua’s Location: At the town’s field, on the bleachers, taking a break from football practice.
S: How are ya’?
J: Lol what do you want Selene?
S: Nothing, just checking up on ya.
J: Ha. Okay, I know you only text me for favors so just ask away.
S: I like this boy.
S: But he doesn’t like me back ’cause he has a girlfriend and I just found out that my friend likes him too. Sucks right?
J: Yeah I suck at giving advice, you could ask Lexie to help you out on this one.
S: But you give Lexie good advice☹️
J: Yeah that’s because it just comes naturally with her, she unleashes that hidden talent within me.
S: And I don’t?
S: Don’t answer that. Speaking of Lexie, I’ve always thought of how crazy it’d be if you two were to hook up. Have you ever thought about that?
J: I got to get back to practice.
S: Answer me first please, it has just been really bugging my mental space as of lately.
J: Why would that bother you?
S: Because....I like you.
S: Lol, I’m kidding. You ain’t my type.
J: Didn’t ask.
S: Would you date her?
J: *sigh* No.
S: Ouch. Why not?
J: She’s my best friend, and I like it that way.
J: Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.
(Joshua has gone offline)
Two minutes later...
S: Can’t you have patience woman? I’ve just gathered the data.
L: I want screenshots.
S: Sorry my phone does not have that much space, I’ll just tell you what he said.
S: He said he wouldn’t date you. And that he prefers you remaining as just his friend.
Ten minutes later...
L: I’m here.
S: Did you read what I sent?
S: What are your thoughts?
L: I don’t want to talk about it.
S: You’re not crying now, are you?😯
S: I’m not convinced.
L: I’ll talk to you later.
S: Okay, bye❤️
(Lexie exits Selene’s chat. Her eyes catch Josh’s display picture, which is an image of him and Sabrina with his arm thrown over her shoulder; their lips halfway from each other’s in a playful manner. She sniffs and wipes the tears before turning her cellphone off. She needs some time to gather her thoughts. The unrequited feelings that keep growing for her best friend feels like nothing but a dead end. She desperately wishes she could just switch them off and not feel them anymore.)
“And if you hurt me, that’s okay baby, only words bleed. Inside these pages you just hold me and I won’t ever let you go.” —Ed Sheeran.