I’ll Always Be Your Friend
Chat Song: ‘Safe’ by Britt Nicole.
“You keep trying to get inside my head, while I keep trying to lose the words you said. Can’t you see I’m hanging by a thread?”
Sunday May 10 2020
Josh’s location: On his bed, in his room.
Thirty minutes later...
One hour later...
J: Why are u ignoring my messages?
L: Sorry I was helping my mom with dinner. R u ok?
J: Yeah, just miss you.
(Lexie stares at the message, then closes her eyes. It means nothing. It means nothing.)
L: I miss you too.
J: Come over.
L: I can’t, my mom needs me to help her.
(She knows the real reason she doesn’t want to see him, is that she’s scared he’ll read her facial expressions. Josh is quite discerning and he can always tell when something is plaguing her mental space, thus she thinks it’s better if she keeps her distance for a while.)
J: FaceTime me.
L: I can’t.
J: Ask Aunt Lisa for at least ten minutes, please. Or let me talk to her.
Two minutes later...
L: Okay, fine. She says I can. I’ll go up to my room and do it.
L: Lol what’s the rush?
J: 😢I. Miss. You
L: Lol. U don’t.
J: I do. Like crazy. I hate it when you ignore me.
L: Yea, right.
J: That was sarcasm, wasn’t it?
L: Maybe. 😋
J: I’ll bite that tongue off.
(Lexie’s face reddens as she reads the text. What-why would he send that? Her mom glances at her from the stove and she quickly excuses herself and runs up to her room. She opens the FaceTime app and begins to ring Josh who answers instantly.)
“There she is.” He is laying onto his back, shirtless with only a thin necklace hanging from his neck. Lexie feels her heart leaps as she sees his toothy smile. “Did you not miss me?”
She plops onto her bed and rolls onto her stomach. “A little.”
He smiles. “Liar.”
She finds herself getting lost in his amber eyes. His white teeth are a lot brighter than the evening sun that is currently barging its way into her room. She clears her throat, inwardly grimacing at how unattractive she looks on video. But it’s okay, Josh has seen her at her worst.
He shifts his cell a little so his entire body can be seen in the video and Lexie’s eyes fall to his toned legs, revealing from his sports shorts. Josh has a sturdy built which is a result of him being quite athletic.
“Sabrina’s fine, she’ll be coming by later.” He grins, cozily tucking his palm under his head. His dark hair partially falls over his eyes and Lexie can see the genuine happiness in them at the mention of his girlfriend.
“Oh, I guess you’re fine then. You’ll have company soon.”
“No, I’m not fine. I want you here.”
Her face becomes scarlet and she positions the phone at a different angle so her blushes will not be obvious.
“I wish you were here so we could watch Netflix and chill,” he says.
“In this day and age, Netflix and Chill don't normally mean Netflix and Chill,” she educates him and he laughs.
“That does not apply to us. I respect you too much. And you’re my best friend.”
“Yeah...I’m your best friend.” Lexie tries to hide the hurt. “Always will be.”
“Even when you’re married to your perfect guy and I am married to Sabrina. We’ll always be friends. And our kids will be friends and we’ll grow old being friends. I’d love that.”
Lexie feels as if she can’t withstand this conversation any longer. She is at the brink of breaking down over the video call.
“I think my mom’s calling me.” She lies.
Josh frowns. “Already?”
“Yeah, I can hear her calling from the kitchen.”
“Ten minutes isn’t even up yet.”
“Damn....okay. Text me when you’re done.”
“I will, later.”
“I love you.”
Lexie can’t understand how he can utter those words so casually. She nods her head, her throat burning with heartbreak.
“I love you too.”
(She ends the call, but before she returns downstairs, she cries for the remainder of the ten minutes. It hurts too much and she doesn’t know how to make it stop.)
“My walls are gonna break. So close, it’s more than I can take. I’m so tired of turning and running away when love just isn’t safe. You’re not safe." —Britt Nicole.