Sold my Soul

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Chapter Forty - Stephen’s POV

It had been 6 months since our pea pods joined us. And Nate and Livy were perfect

Each time I looked at them I fell more and more in love with my wife. She had given me more in this world than anyone ever before

I had not long woken up and headed downstairs and saw my babies having tummy time while their momma bear sat on the couch watching them play and enjoying a coffee

I walked up behind my doll and squat down resting my head on her shoulder from behind. I turned my face into her neck kissing and licking softly as she bought her hand up and ran her nails through my hair

Stephen - mmmm morning momma bear

Trinity - Morning Daddy

I bring my arms over the couch and wrap them around her upper chest as I continue kissing her neck, using my nose to nudge her neck over so I had better access I hear my doll purr and I instinctively hold her a little tighter

Trinity - Daddy mmmm I can never get enough of your touch

I tug carefully on her ear lobe sucking into my mouth and nibbling on it

Stephen - I can never get enough of you

I've had a raging hard on for my wife for weeks now. There is something that changes in you as a man when you see the woman you're in love with go from being this goddess you got so damn lucky to be married to, to being the mother of your children

I look at my wife and I can't help think to myself

You're amazing

That's a phrase I've repeated so many times over the last 6 months since our pea pods births that it's become almost rote. You'd think that by using it as often it would've lost its meaning: that the sounds and syllables would get jumbled, and it'd turn into unfamiliar nonsense, like when you chant a word over and over out loud. But it's never felt that way. I've meant it every time I use it; it's never stopped having weight.

I knew my wife was amazing from the moment I met her. Her strength and resilience never cease to amaze me. I know she'll roll her eyes when I say it but she inspires me. Some days I'm just amazed she managed to put up with me. She amazed me as we grew throughout our relationship and she's managed to amaze me every day since.

I meant it when I said it to her the night I asked her to marry me, and I meant it the day she walked down the aisle to marry me. I meant it the first time I called her Mrs Gotti. I meant it when I said it to her while she was dealing with labour pains. I meant it while I held her hand through the labour and still put on a brave face when I myself was terrified.

I meant it when I laid eyes on my children for the first time and told them they were amazing. I meant it when she gave me our children for the first kiss. I meant it while she recovered, while she held our babies for the first time and while she nursed them. They weren't even a day old and she put our children's well being before her own

I meant it when she insisted I climb into the hospital bed with the three of them, despite the pain she was in - so the 4 of us could have a moment. I meant it the first time she called us a family

Now I mean it when ever our children cry and calm down the moment she holds them. I think about how amazing our children are every time they open their eyes and study my face

She has been amazing through this whole process . . . A process wherein I was essentially a spectator for 8 months, and then got to swoop in and claim my dadhood once it was all over. I recognise just how lucky I am in that respect, and that, despite how easy she made it look pregnancy and labour and birth are physically and emotionally taxing.

And I know she'd do it over again without question to make me happy and because I see the way she looks at our children. It's a look that says she thinks they are amazing (although maybe in the interest of not being as repetitive as I am, she'd choose a different superlative to describe them)

It's difficult to explain childbirth and the subsequent transition to parenthood to anyone who hasn't gone through it but despite being something that thousands of people experience daily, it is still deeply personal. These are our children. This is our joy. And when they were born we were the ones to welcome them into the world

We're the ones who are filled with such an overwhelming sense of love when we see them. And while other people have children and experience that love, no one else has this. No one else has her and I am so thankful that I've had her by my side this whole time (although, I think in terms of childbirth, it's really me by her side)

I'm so thankful I've gone on this tourney with my doll, that I've watched her turn into a mother so quickly and skilfully, that I've watched her fight through pain to make sure our children are fed, attended to and loved.

I'm getting used to using that phrase - You're amazing - all the time. I know she'll give me new reasons to use it every single day. I know I'll never get tired of saying it and I know that it will never ever, ever lose its meaning

I'm dragged out of my thoughts when I feel my wife's hand come across my cheek and stroke it. I look at her and she's looking back at me confused

Stephen - Sorry baby I was daydreaming did you say something?

Trinity - Someone's at the door sweetheart, can you get it

Stephen - Of course baby

I get up and walk to our door. As I'm walking down the hall way I can see through the glass panels and I'm not impressed

Opening the door I speak before they can

Stephen - What do you want?

Detective - Good morning Mr Gotti I was wondering if your wife would be home

Stephen - She's busy with our children. Again, what the hell do you want?

Detective - I'm afraid that's not a matter that concerns you Mr Gotti, now may we speak with your wife

Stephen - Not until you tell me what the fuck you want

Detective - Sir we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can ask your wife to come out and speak to us, or we can issue this warrant and come in

He waves a warrant in my face like I am still going to give a fuck

Getting enraged now I raise my voice

Stephen - I ASKED YOU A QUESTION

Hearing my anger Trinity has made her way around to the hall way with a twin on either hip to see what the commotion is

Trinity - What the hell is he doing here

Detective - Mrs Gotti I'm going to have to ask you to step outside please

Stephen - NO! Not until one of you tell me what is going on

Detective - Right, I'm asking one more time before we issue this warrant and we enter. Mrs Gotti please step outside

I watch as she makes her way closer and I put myself between her and the detective. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach as my head starts to race knowing now what is happening

Trinity - Baby, it's ok. Think of our children please. They don't need to see police storming into our home taking their mother.

I look at her my heartbreaking into a million pieces as she passes our children to me. My eyespleading with her

Trinity - I love you. Call Clint and Mia then call Benji

Stephen - Baby ....

Trinity - It's ok sweetheart, I love you all

Detective - Now Mrs Gotti

If looks could kill this mother fücker would be dead on my doorstep right now

Stephen - I love you Momma bear, we all do

I kiss my wife as I feel my world crumbling under my feet

I watch as she steps out

Detective - Mrs Gotti you are under arrest for the murder of DEA Special Agent Mike Suarez. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law you have the right to an attor..............

I don't hear anything else I drop to my knees holding on to my children like my life depends on it as my world is torn apart

** The End **


Part 3 coming soon x

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