*Remember those triggers I warned you about*
6 months ago
"I-I Love You."
Those words ring in my head repeatedly. I can't stop running my fingers over my lips. Love! I'm in love.
This out of this world feeling is terrifying, insane, and exhilarating. All wrapped up into one soul-crushing experience.
I lean against the railing of the yacht, scanning the rough waves below. Music pounds from the party a deck above, but I hide deep in the shadows just to watch. The sea water's odor invades my nostrils, and it's the sweetest scent I've ever experienced. Love is in the air and seeping through my veins like a drug consuming me. My entire body relaxes with each wave crashing against the rocks thirty feet away. Will I ever come off this insane life-high? No matter what I've been through at East Point Prep, brought me here.
After, so many months of secret meetings. Secret kisses. Secret hand holdings in class. This is my--our-- moment. We will finally show our love to the world. The love we've kindled in the palm of our hands for so many months. Keeping our love to ourselves. Keeping it special and cherishing every moment with one another.
Butterflies invade my stomach at the possibilities to come. Life will become so much easier after I set the truth free. Life will finally feel good and worth living again. Sea breeze floats into my nose on an inhale, and a scream explodes from my throat on exhale.
A gloved hand muffles my cries, and tears cloud my vision. A thick, sticky wetness coats my back, as the mystery person twists the sharpened knife in my flesh. The knife releases from my skin and re-enters, piercing my chest. Straight into my lung.
A fucking giggle breathes in my ear. So light and so airy, it almost seems like they're not here, but they are. Whoever this is, is giddy with delight. More giggles penetrate my ringing ears as the knife twists in my chest and blood rises like steaming white-hot lava up my esophagus.
I choke on my own sticky fluid. I sputter, willing my lungs to fill with air. But no matter how hard I try, breaths are impossible. My vision goes first. I blink and I blink, but nothing. Nothing.
The giggles taunt my dying brain. The knife tears through the flesh of each wrist. Causing more blood to pour out into the sea below.
What have I done to deserve this?
I finally found love.
I finally found someone who accepts me as I am.
Blood seeps out of my parted lips and there's nothing more that I can do. I'm done. Dying. Dead. Two hands guide my body over the railing and push me over with ease. Like I weigh nothing.
The sea stings my wounds like another piercing knife. The deep blue mixes with the blood-red above my submerged head.
This is just a little preview of what's to come. Don't expect solid updates for a while. Maybe at the end of July. ❤❤