Is This Love Book 2: Losing Yourself

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Chapter 10: The Surprises

I stir from sleep to Samantha’s body against mine. She’s home. I drift back to sleep comforted by the warmth of her skin on mine.

“Ileana, it’s time to wake up. I have something for you.”

“I don’t wanna.” I grab the blanket and cover my face again.

“Wake up, My Pet, or you will suffer the consequences.” She warns in a playful voice.

What would the consequence be? I tuck myself in tighter.

“Ooh, you’re in trouble now!” Samantha starts digging the blanket away from me and tickling my sides.

“No. No. I’m up, I’m up.”

“You didn’t wake up right away. You chose this. And I just happened to find your favorite tickle spot the other day. She tickles the divot where my thighs meet my hips.

“No, no.” I burst out in laughter.

I squirm under her weight and manage to maneuver my leg out and over her. In one struggling motion I push her over and hold her down. I like this. It does feel good to be in control.

Samantha looks up from under me with a fire lit in her grey eyes. “This is how you want it then.” She says in her sexy Romanian voice.

She grabs my arms and holds them away from our bodies. “Hard to pin me down without your arms.”

“We’ll see about that.” I say with determination. I struggle to get my arms free. I’m unable to, so I drop my body down on top of hers and start sucking on her neck.

She lets out a small moan of encouragement and weakens her grip. I pull my arms free and we continue wrestling for dominance while laughing until we both are worn out.

“Now, I’d say it’s time for your surprise.” Samantha makes her way to the closet.

“I have a couple surprises for you too!” I open the nightstand and take out the album.

“A couple?” She questions walking back.

“Yes, a couple. Here’s the first one.” I hand her the college report to continue classes next semester.

She glances at the paper trying to understand it. Her face lights up in a big smile. “You’re going back to school? I’m so proud of you. I’m glad you’re thinking about your future again.”

“I will go back in the spring. That leaves a few months to prep and prepare. Here’s the other present.” I set the small album on the bed. They’re nowhere near professional photos, but they are pretty steamy.

She flips through the pages. Each new picture drops her jaw a little more. “I’m stunned. A month ago, you barely let me look at you. Now you’ve taken photos. I’m so proud of the progress you have made Ileana.”

“Thank you.” I respond with a sheepish smile.

“And I fully expect you to wear these lingerie sporadically. Especially these ones.” She points to the ones I bought from the sex shop.

I knew she’d like them.

“And now it’s time for my gift to you. Since you gave me two things, I will do the same.” She holds out a jewelry box.

I open it slowly. It’s another day collar. This one is more flashy with three big diamonds on the circle. “If you want to, I would like you to start wearing a collar from me again.”

Really? Does this mean I’m officially hers? Well it does to other people. She wants me to be hers.

“Yes, I’ll wear it.” She puts it on me. And I clasp the ring on it. Yes. I’m Samantha’s. I can’t believe I ever took the other one off. I was so angry and hurt though.

“May I ask what happened to the last one?”

“ see...I was really angry and hurt and threw it in the lake to never be seen again.” I explain.

“I see. Hopefully this one will be tended to better.” She winks at me, “Time for your next surprise. Follow me.”

I follow Samantha to the library and she picks up the cello.

“You play?” I ask with surprise. All this time it has just been speculation and hoping she did.

“Not in front of anyone; that changes today.” She says taking a seat and preparing herself. She starts plucking the strings and tuning the cello.

She places the bow on the strings and takes a deep breath. She begins to play and fill my ears with the most beautiful yet exciting sounds I have heard from an instrument.

She starts with a slow and peaceful melody and it quickens to exciting and intense. After a short while the sound turns low and dark. Then gradually lifts up and makes me feel so happy. The song ends on a high note and the song leaves me speechless.

Wow, that was crazy intense. It was like listening to a story, but there were no words. I felt so much as she played. My mood swayed with the music. How can one song move you so much?

“What song was that?” I ask with curiosity wracking my brain.

“I wrote it. I have yet to give it a name.”

“You are crazy talented, you could be a professional.”

“Thanks. I play to calm myself. I wrote this as a representation of my life and I wrote it for you.”

“That’s crazy. Thank you for sharing. So, do you play the piano?” I ask since she also has one in the library.

“No. That was my mother’s. I brought it over from Romania.” She takes a deep breath.

I don’t know much about her past. Maybe she will open up a little?

“Can you tell me about it? What was Romania like?”

“That’s a long story, My Pet. I haven’t thought of it much since I left over ten years ago. I guess I can begin with it was shit. The government is crazy, nothing gets done or fixed. My parents were entrepreneurs and had their own shop. The rules and regulations changed all the time and made it almost impossible to continue operating. It was tough living there. The country has the potential to produce enough food for everyone, but they decided to import it all instead of developing the farmland.”

“That doesn’t sound that nice.” I try and comprehend everything she is saying.

“It wasn’t nice. My parents were always stressed. My father ended up drinking himself to death when I was twelve and my mother became severely depressed and overwhelmed with the failing business. She pretty much ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist for years. She just disappeared one day when I was seventeen with a note saying to sell everything and start a life somewhere better. That was the goodbye she left me.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that was like.”

“It was a long time ago. As for the piano, my mother used to play it after dinner before my father passed. It was the only really good thing that I remember. The music she played swept the worries away from all of us. The music made us all feel at peace with the world.”

“That’s why you play the cello now?”

“Yes, I’ve used it as a coping mechanism. I pour all my frustration into the motion of the bow and the created sound is my release.”

“What made you choose to come to America?”

“It’s the land of the free. My parents had this idea if they could make enough to move there, they would be successful business owners. I moved here in hope to succeed for them.” She sighs and looks sad.

“I’m glad you did. I’m sure they would be so proud of you.”

“I hope so. I ended up selling everything but the piano. And moving to Las Vegas with two thousand dollars to my name on a Visa and gained my citizenship a year later. I kept the piano at a friend’s house until I had enough money to transport it here.”

“You’re telling me that you became the millionaire you are today by starting with two thousand dollars?” I am awestruck by the hardships she has endured and so much she has accomplished.

“Yes, that’s correct. Well that and my confidence, good looks, and determination.” she smiles at me.

“You are amazing.” That’s the only thing I could think of to explain what is going through my head.

She has overcome so much. And achieved so much. I can’t imagine having to endure that much. She’s had a hard life since the beginning. If I can help it, I’m going to do everything I can to make her life easier. She shouldn’t have to go through anything more.

“I got lucky when I moved here. My acting career jump started almost immediately. I joined a show and everyone loved my accent and personality. I kept moving up and investing in businesses. I guess I have that in common with my parents.”

“I’m glad it all worked out for you. You are so strong.” And closed off, she was lonely as a child. She hadn’t had good parents to show her love and kindness.

“Thanks. I’m done sharing now though. That’s pretty much the whole story anyway.” She says in a flat and distant tone.

“I’m so glad you shared that with me. Thank you for opening up.”

“Let’s eat.” Samantha suggests switching the subject.


The battle for control and eating has slowly dissolved into being almost non-existent. I’ve regained my passions in life and I’ve been learning to love and accept myself.

I need to confront my parents. I just don’t know when. They need to know who I am and either accept me or lose me. I’m sick of the way they’ve treated me since finding out. And they owe Samantha more than they could ever repay her.

It’s time to pay them a visit and conquer this obstacle.

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