Is This Love Book 2: Losing Yourself

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Chapter 11: The Visit

“You’ve grown so much confidence back in yourself over these last couple months. I’m here if and when you need me.”

“Thanks. I’ll send a text when I want you to come in.” I say opening the door to Samantha’s black Lincoln. Home. I haven’t been here since Samantha came to rescue me. It also hasn’t felt like home in a year. How could my life have changed so much for that to happen?

No, my life didn’t change. I learned who I was and who my parents were. That is what made this place lose the feeling of home. It went from a loving environment to a damaging and condemning one.

That changes today.

I walk to the front door and knock. I didn’t warn my parents of my visit, I wanted to surprise them and show them how much better I am and it’s a big thanks to Samantha.

The door opens. “Oh my lord! I’m so happy to see you Ileana. You look so much better!” My mom says while hugging me.

“Thanks mom. Is dad in yet?”

“Yes, he’s just washing up. Honey, Ileana is home.” She hollers into the house.

“I need to talk with both of you.” I say calm and collectively.

“Let’s go to the living room then.” She offers and we walk together.

The living room. That’s where I told them on Christmas that I was with Samantha. They flipped and kicked her out...I hope they can see how her love helps me so much.

I sit on the recliner that faces the couch. This way I can watch both of them as I speak. Oh gods, what am I going to say exactly?

I think about different ways to phrase my feelings until my father joins mom on the couch.

“I’m so glad you decided to stop by! We have missed you so much Ileana. We were so worried!” My dad starts talking.

“I’m okay, I wanted to talk with you two about who I am. I was so lost and broken a couple months ago. I’m sure you saw it and were unable to help me.” I take a deep breath. You got this. Keep going.

“I know...I was so lost…”

“No, I’m not done.” I cut my dad off. “Being here with you guys didn’t help me at all. It actually made me worse. You kept trying to get me to find a boyfriend and downplaying the relationship I had and have with Sam. You ignored who I am and tried to force your thoughts on me. Each time you tried to change my thoughts or rationalize it as a temptation by the devil, I went deeper into depression. You betrayed me, your daughter, for your own piece of mind. What does it matter to you if I like girls? I have never liked any guy more than a friend. I haven’t even had a crush on one. I’m not straight and I’m not tempted by the devil. I am gay. There is nothing you can do to change that. If you can’t accept that I’m truly happy, with a woman, I cannot have you in my life.” My eyes are tearing up from the heightened emotional state I’m in. I don’t want to hear what they have to say. Gods...this is so stressful.

“Ileana, you are our daughter. All we ever wanted for you was the best. We love and care for you so much. Sometimes parents make mistakes. We have talked a lot while you were away. We see the happiness Samantha brings to you. Even now, you are glowing and we know it’s because you love her. We don’t want you to get hurt, ever. Not being the ones able to help you, brought us to our senses. No matter who you are with, we will love and support you as our daughter.” My dad explains.

Tears start to flow from my eyes. They’re okay with it? I never thought they would change so quickly.

My mom gives me a hug to comfort me and whispers, “It’s true dear. We love you, and will support you. It may not be how we are. But it’s what makes you happy.”

“Is Samantha here?” My dad asks.

“Yeah, she’s in the car, why?”

“As a father, it is my duty to warn anyone dating you that if they cause you pain, I will hunt them down.”

“No dad, it will be okay. You don’t need to do that.” Oh, the pain she causes me. It is one of the best things I have felt. I’m pretty sure if dad learns about any of this, he would not be kind.

‘Hurry in.’ I text Samantha so she doesn’t get trapped with dad alone. I have no clue what he is going to say.

I walk to the door behind dad, just as Samantha reaches it, he says, “I don’t think so, this way Samantha.” He leads her to the porch swing and sits on it.

Oh gods, what is he going to say to her? I sneak to the window by the swing and crack it open to listen in on the conversation.

“I understand that you love my daughter. Is that correct?” He asks stiffly.

“Yes, sir.” Samantha responds respectfully.

“I want to let you know, if you ever hurt her, I will hurt you worse. There’s a thousand acres here on my land. No one will find or help you.”

Oh my gods, did he just threaten to kill her?

“I won’t hurt her. You have my word. I have always only wanted the best for her.” Samantha explains.

“You have to tell me the truth, did you cause Ileana to be so broken this summer?”

No, it was me! I caused it all.

“Yes, it was my fault. I didn’t run after her hard enough. There was a misunderstanding that I didn’t know about and she left without any explanation. I was shocked and hurt and I didn’t know what to do. I tried calling and talking with her, but she ignored me. I thought it was what she wanted, so I let her go.” Samantha’s grey eyes have a wet layer glossed over them.

“I see. What was the misunderstanding again? I remember you mentioning something when you picked her up. My head wasn’t processing everything fully. I just wanted her better. It must be cleared up with how Ileana is now.”

“I was out at the cafe with my realtor, signing on a new property. Once it was complete, I was happy, hugged him and kissed his cheek. He is French, so that is what they do. Ileana saw the happiness, hug, and leaning in. She interpreted it as a date and left me.” She explains.

I can’t believe how truthful she is being. She hasn’t tried to impress him or make herself look better.

“Now that you’re with my daughter, I expect you to go out of your way to make her happy. You must treat her with love and respect.”

“I will, sir.”

“Thank you, for bringing her back to us. We owe you so much. I’m sorry for the way we treated you before. We were closed minded. We were wrong. I hope one day you will forgive us.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad that you are okay with her now. She needs you and she needs your love for who she is. She didn’t choose to love me, and I didn’t choose her either, it just happened. Now we will continue to choose each other and grow together. You’re daughter saved me, just as much as I saved her. I love her, and I will protect her from everything I can.”

“I believe you Samantha. If you want, we would like to get to know you better. I’m having a barbecue tomorrow. I would love it if you two would join us.”

“We can do that. I’m sure Ileana would love that. I’ll make a hotel reservation.” Samantha pulls out her phone.

“You two can stay here. It will save money.”

“We can do that.” Samantha agrees.

“We should probably get back to our waiting women.” My dad laughs at his half joke.

I hurry and stand up from the floor. I can’t help but to smile. My dad approves!

They walk in the door and my eyes immediately meet with Samantha’s. She is glowing. I can tell she is extremely happy.

She walks over to me and embraces me tightly. “I love you, Ileana.” She says quietly in my ear.

“I love you too, Samantha.” I whisper back.

“We’re staying here tonight. I’ll grab the bag and bring it upstairs.”

Samantha turns and leaves.

“So?” I ask my dad.

“I approve. She has shown herself to be honest and trustworthy. And she loves you.” He says, finishing his review of my lover.

He approves of my lover. We aren’t even dating again. I’m sure he wouldn’t like to know that fact. I should bring it up to Samantha, I think I’m ready. I’ve made so much progress, and I know who I am. I’ve stood up for myself against my parents. If she says no, I’m going to give her all of these reasons. I will make my case and make her date me again.

Samantha comes in with the bag and winks at me on her way upstairs; my insides just melt. How does she still affect me so much?

I return to my mom and dad sitting in the living room. “I’m so glad you finally get me.”

“We are too, dear. I love seeing you happy.” My mom says.

“For right now, can I ask the PDA to be PG? I will need a little adjusting time.”

“Yes, dad. We can be PG.” I laugh.

Samantha appears, walks over and stands behind me.

“Thank you for everything you have done for Ileana.” My mom says to Samantha.

“You’re welcome. All I want is the best for her.”

“I can tell you mean that. I’m so happy you’ll be staying. I want to get to know you better, since you’re such a big part in our daughter’s life.” My mom actually sounds like she wants to get to know Samantha.

I beam with happiness. I can’t believe my parents accept me. I never thought this would happen, especially with their reaction last Christmas, and how they’ve treated me since.

I yawn so big. Jeez I’m exhausted. The travelling and heightened emotions hit me all at once.

“I think I’m ready for bed.” I say with another yawn.

“Yes, it has been quite the day.” Samantha says while helping me up. “Thank you for letting us stay.” She directs to my parents

“You are very welcome. And you’re welcome back, anytime. Get some good rest, we’ll be having quite a few people over tomorrow!” My mom says.

I give each of them a hug and they each go to Samantha and give her a hug also. Samantha looks uncomfortable with the foreign affection, but ends up hugging them back lightly. Wow, just look at that! I can’t believe it. The three people I love the most hugging.

Samantha quickly retreats from the affection and grabs my hand on her way past me. We quickly go upstairs.

“What’s the hurry?” I ask once the bedroom door is closed.

“I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” She says with a seductive look in her eyes.

She pushes me up against the door and starts kissing me and sucking on my neck. I moan and lean into her.

She carries me to the bed and lays me down. “You better get ready for this.”

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