Is This Love Book 2: Losing Yourself

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Chapter 16: The Awards

“This will be perfect for you.” Samantha says while holding a black halter-top dress against me.

“I’m not quite sure.” I question the dress style, “I’ve never worn anything like that.”

“Oh, there’s always time for firsts.” She trails off, “And this won’t be the only first for you this evening.”

“Umm, is that a threat or a forewarning?” I ask, unsure of what other firsts I’ll encounter this evening.

“Neither, it’s just a simple and true statement.” She says as a smirk grows on her face.

That doesn’t look too good, I wonder what the other firsts are? I mean she said she hasn’t had a date to these, so maybe that’s all she means, I’ll be her first date to an awards ceremony.

“Let’s get you into this. We’ll pick out the shoes after.” She says after admiring her thoughts for a couple minutes. “You need to get naked for me.” She winks.

My heart skips a beat. I’ll always gladly get naked for you. I smile and remove my clothes.

I step into the dress and she slides it up and around my curves. “Now, when you wear this, I want you to envision my hand holding this up.”

She moves her hand in between my breasts, grabbing the lace neck piece, raising it. I feel the cool metal circle against the top of my breasts that holds the neck piece. She stretches her fingers around my neck and clasps the two inch tall lace collar on.

My brain focuses on her hand on my neck. Gods, I love that feeling so much. Her hand on my neck keeps me from thinking of anything else. It grounds me and makes me present in the moment of heat.

Is there something wrong with me? Why would I like that? Is it normal to like this? I mean, is it normal to like most of the things we do? No, probably not.

We are not normal...but we are in love and enjoy all of this, so why shouldn’t we embrace it?

That’s right. Embrace it. Embrace her and the feelings she shows me. With a simple touch she can erase everything else in the world. This is what I crave and desire.

Fuck...this dress will make me go crazy tonight. I close my eyes and feel up my chest to feel the fabric over my throat. Yes, this is right. This is what Samantha wants me to envision. Her hand here all night long. This slight pressure will keep me grounded next to her and make me think of her the whole time.

“What do you think?” Samantha asks.

“I love it, I really do. It feels so nice.”

“I thought you’d say that. Now, I was thinking something like this.” Samantha holds up a pair of black high heel sandals.

“Ugh, those would show my toes. I don’t really want that.”

“What if we paint your toe nails? Then it can distract from the shape of them if you’re self conscious about them.”

“Okay, yeah, I can do that.”

“Alright, sit here.” Samantha points to the black bench at the end of her bed.

I shimmy over in my dress and prepare for my descent to be difficult in this tight dress. I grab the arm and slowly squat until I’m sitting on the bench. The fabric moved nicely and it didn’t feel awkward at all. “Wow, this dress is great. I can move in it without worrying.”

“That’s why I got it. It’s actually part spandex, so it forms to your body tightly and still allows room to move.” She explains walking over to be with a few nail polish colors. “So, what color do you think you’ll want?”

“Probably black, since that is the color I’m wearing tonight.”

“You got it!” She sits on the floor by me and grabs my foot.

She starts applying the polish on my big toe and her fingers keep hitting and lightly tickling my foot.

I break out laughing and almost kick her. “Stop tickling me so much! I’m going to end up kicking you in the face.” I muster out between giggles.

“If you don’t stop moving, your whole foot will be painted.”

“Okay, just shhhhh with the touching!”

“Set your foot on my knee here with your toes towards me. I’ll barely touch them from now on.”

She paints the rest of my toes with minimal touching and tickling.

“All done. Now you just need one more thing to complete your outfit.”

“And what’s that?” I ask curiously.

“Underwear of course. And you’ll be wearing these.” She pulls out a pair from her pocket and hands them to me.

“Okay, I guess, they aren’t really my…” the panties in my hand start vibrating. Oh hell no, she’s crazy! I’m not wearing these in public!

“Suit up, My Pet.” Samantha commands.

“Do I have to? I don’t think I can wear these out, everyone will know!” I protest.

“No one will know unless you make it obvious. I have faith in you, My Pet. I’ll have the controls the whole time.”

“I don’t know if that last sentence makes me more comfortable or not.” I honestly say.

She gets up and stands next to me. She reaches her hand out and places it on my cheek. “Trust me, Ileana. You’ll be okay.” She leans in and gives me a kiss.

I put on the panties asking, “You’re not going to have them on the whole time right? I may die from over stimulation.”

“No, I’ll only use it occasionally when I see it most fit.”

“Thank you.”


“Always giving me new experiences and sensations and keeping me safe.” I explain.

“That’s all I want, My Pet. It’s time to leave. I’ll meet you by the door, I just need a minute to freshen up.”

“Okay, My Queen. I’ll wait for you.” I wink at her and see a rose complexion on her cheeks.


“Are you ready? We’ll be pulling up shortly. There will be tons of paparazzi. We can ignore them all and make our way inside. I don’t want to have this be stressful, just remember that I’m by your side always.”

Tons of paparazzi? Like are we going to be swarmed? There’s going to be so many people everywhere.

“How many people will there be?”

“It’s a closed event, so outside there will be countless, but inside we’ll be safe and there will only be about five hundred. This isn’t any big time awards show, it’s mainly the publishers highlighting and thanking everyone who put so much work into the films they released this year. I think there’s about ten movies, so the cast and crew of all of those movies will be here.”

“So what you’re saying is that I will be in a room full of important and famous people?”

“Yes that’s correct, but you have been with me for a while now, and I’d like to officially introduce you as my partner, if that’s okay with you?”

So she wants everyone to know we’re together. I’m sure they will assume it anyways...but this also means the world will know I’m gay. Am I ready for that? I mean I am supposed to work on accepting and loving myself. I think this may help. Then I won’t ever need to worry about coming out to anyone anymore, because the world will know.

At least I’m in a sexy dress. And I’ll be with Samantha. She’s what I want. I’m happy with her. This is what she wants also.

“Yes, that’s okay.” I respond after thinking.

“Just to forewarn you, I have never publicly announced a partner before, so this may be big news for a while.”

“I’m honored that you chose me as your first public girlfriend. I’ll be okay. I have you.” I smile at her as the car comes to a stop.

“Just breathe, My Pet. We will get through this together.”

The car door was opened for Samantha and I hear the roar of the crowd outside. Deep breaths. I got this. Just be with Samantha. Everything will be okay.

As soon as she starts exiting cameras flash all around like crazy. She then reaches her hand to help me out. I grab it gratefully and stand up next to her.

She then loops her arm around my waist and I gladly take her affection. I lean into her and we slowly walk inside ignoring all of the people shouting questions at us.

We finally make it inside with the crowd dulling as the door shuts.

I take a deep breath and all of a sudden my panties start vibrating against me. Oh fuck, I forgot I was wearing them. Mmm that feels good.

My step waivers and she switches it off. “Time for our picture.” Samantha says.

We smile for a picture and continue walking down the hall. A group of people come rushing to us and greet Samantha with hugs and friendly greetings.

“Ileana, these are some of my fellow cast members. John, Sue, Erin, and George. Guys, this is my girlfriend, Ileana.”

“So it is true! You are officially off the market! Congrats.” One of the girls says.

“You’re so lucky, everyone wishes they could be with Samantha.” The other one chimes in.

“I don’t know about everyone. But definitely the majority of us.” A male chimed in.

“I think you’ve all had too much to drink already.” Samantha says shaming all of them.

I didn’t know she had friends that were coworkers. I mean everyone has friends, but she’s never talked about them. They must not be that close if they didn’t know about me.

Or she was keeping me a secret. She was ashamed of me. Maybe she thought we were just a fling.

That doesn’t matter anymore. She’s letting everyone know she is now taken. She’s mine.

I smile warmly at them. I run my fingers through my hair nervously. I move my hand down my neck and feel the dress. Yes, she’s here grounding me. I got this.

“We’ll be seeing you.” Samantha says while looping her arm in mine and leading me into a small room.

“I’m sorry about all of that. Everyone wants to appear to be my friend in public. I’ve only spoken to them a few times. It was weird for me also.”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself, My Queen. Tonight, you’re in your element. You should have fun. I’d love to watch how the professional Samantha conducts business at an event.”

“Well, in that case, the business I want to conduct is you.” She turns on my undies and I shriek into her shoulder. “You’re going to have to work on that reaction. I’ll tell you what, since I’m feeling generous tonight, I will start out on the lowest setting so you will have a second to prepare for more intensity.”

“How grateful I am for your kindness.” I mock her.

She pushes her body into mine, sandwiching me against the wall. She kisses my neck and up to my ear. “You’d be wise to remember who’s in charge here, My Pet.”

She turns the panties up and I melt into her. “Fuck, My Queen. I won’t last the whole night like this. I need you.”

“Oh, you will last as long as I want you to, My Pet.” She declares.

She kisses me passionately, almost sending me over the edge. She abruptly stops everything and says, “I think it’s time to rejoin the party. I’m sure it’ll be starting soon.”

We rejoin the commotion in the hallway and make our way to our seats at a round table in the second row close to the center of the room. The seats around us fill up and Samantha makes small talk. I stay silent and observe her mingling.

All of a sudden I start vibrating again. I grasp her shoulder in response and she smiles wickedly at me. She increases the speed and I can’t help but make a sound so I pretend to yawn loudly and stretch my arms.

“I’m good.” I say to Samantha, hoping she would stop.

The sensation continues and increases, building my strive for release.

The announcer walks on the stage and starts speaking. I can’t comprehend anything he’s saying. I can’t focus on anything but the burning desire in my core. Please shut it off. I’m not going to hear a word said tonight. He continues droning on about all of the films they’ve produced this year and the highlights. He thanks everyone and hands the mic to someone else.

Finally, Samantha switches them off and I take a deep breath.

“I know this isn’t as important as the Oscars, but this evening is very important for us as a film company. It’s a tradition that we hold our own awards and honor those who have starred in our films. We wouldn’t be here without you. Without further adieu, the first award we will be giving is what we’ve voted to be the best motion picture we’ve created this year. There were many strong contenders. Our employees have voted in favor of love this year. So, would the director of ‘Wisdom’s Choice’ please come accept the award and share a few words.”

The crowd bursts with cheering and clapping while an overly excited middle aged man hops up and makes his way to the platform.

“Wow, that was unexpected! Am I right? I’m so glad we’ve made an impression here. I just hope the ball continues rolling for us! I’d like to thank all of the staff for doing an excellent job filming. I’d also like to thank my family, sitting right over there,” he points to a table and the spotlight follows the direction until lighting up his wife and three children. “Thank you for all of the long weeks that you’ve stuck by me. I know it’s not always easy. But we make do.” The crowd cheers once again as he retreats to his family.

I turn to Samantha and ask, “Is this how all of the awards will go?”

“Pretty much. This is the standard procedure. We never really know what they’re giving them for, it changes every year.”

“So you don’t know how long it will be until we’re doing?”

“Are you getting antsy, My Pet?” She whispers in my ear.

“Only a little.” I downplay the intense despair I have to be sexually satisfied.

“I may have to change that to a lot.” She replies with a smirk.

Shit, she took my lack of response as a challenge. I swear I don’t have much strength to keep me from orgasming. And I am not going to do that in this crowd. Or in public ever! I don’t know why I agreed to wear these.

A few more awards have been given out without Samantha turning the panties back on, which gave me time to calm my system down a little.

“Alright, it’s time for a quick intermission before we return with the individual acting awards! I know you’re all ecstatic for those! So everyone go do your business and be back in fifteen minutes.”

“Do you think you will get an award?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve only been in one movie with this company this year. Anything is a possibility though.”

“What movie was that?”

“The thriller we saw the preview for on our first date, it’s called ‘Branded for Failure’.”

She remembers our first date? That’s so cute! I mean, I do too. But it was over a year ago. Wow, it’s really been that long since I’ve known her. I wanted to see that movie. Wait, wasn’t there a release celebration for it? I thought we were supposed to go.

“Wasn’t there a celebration for that? Did you go to it?”

“No I didn’t go, we were in Greece at that time.”

“Ah, well I’m sorry you missed it.”

“Don’t be sorry for something you had no control over, My Pet. I would have rather been with you in Greece anyway.”

Samantha leans in and kisses me. She always tastes so good. I deepen the kiss unable to control my desire.

She pulls away from me as the announcement of the next award starts.

“Just in time.” She says.

“In time for what?”

Samantha shushes me and points to the stage. Great, she’s not going to answer. My clit starts vibrating softly again. Fuck, that feels good. I close my eyes, slide back in my seat and focus on my breathing.

If I don’t control this, I’m not going to be able to hide it much longer.

Samantha plays with the settings, switching up the tempos and rhythms. She stops on a pulsating pattern. Mmmm, that’s so nice. Fuck, I’m close. I can’t hold it in.

My arm involuntarily slams down on the table, making everyone around look at me and Samantha immediately switched off the underwear. Now what am I going to say to explain that? I haven’t said anything all night. Hmmm…

“Fuck, I left my dog outside.” I make up a lie and everyone redirects their attention to the stage.

“Nice save.” Samantha winks at me.

I hope that’s it for the night. I was so close to my release. I can’t do it in front of all these people.

“Alright, we only have a few more awards to give tonight. This next one is for the most believable acting. Sometimes it’s really hard to get into character, or something just isn’t working out. Well, this next actress is phenomenal at making everyone believe her. She acts with such poise and grace. This woman is the one, the only, Samantha Ranvi.”

Samantha turns on the pulsating vibrations as she walks to the stage. I cannot do this. Maybe I can let go while everyone is cheering? No I can’t, it will end in a few seconds...I need more time.

I don’t even hear a word Samantha says. I brace myself on the table and chair trying to keep myself from orgasming so intensely. Focus on something else, anything else. Puppies, kittens, babies, turtles, rocks, dirt, mud, showers. No not showers, don’t focus on that.

The crowd starts cheering again. I cant hold off. Fuck, yes, ohhhh.

“Ahhhhh.” I scream as I orgasm and hope the other’s noises drown me out. Samantha must be watching me the whole time because the exact moment I came, the vibrations halt.

I can’t believe I just did that. I came in a room filled with hundreds of other people. Not just any people, famous and important people. I can’t look around. There’s no way I’m talking to anyone now.

“Great job.” Samantha says as she rejoins the table. She kisses my forehead and places her arm around my shoulders.

I smile as the embarrassment is replaced with Samantha’s warmth.

“You did well today, My Pet.” She says just loud enough for me to hear. “If you’d like, I will reward you with a small trip around Las Vegas and show you how I started my life in this country.”

“You have no idea how much I’d love that!” I want to learn everything about her! I can’t wait to find out more!

“It’s settled then. Three days from now, we will make our way around the Vegas I knew when I first moved here.”

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