Is This Love Book 2: Losing Yourself

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Chapter 17: The First

“So, this is where your first job was?” I stare at the abandoned brick building with boarded up broken windows. I glance through one of the cracks, and see a stage far in the back and a bar on the side. There were a few dust-ridden tables and overturned chairs.

“Yeah, this building used to be really nice. We all put in a lot of work for our shows.” Samantha says.

“So this is where the magic happened? This is the place you started acting.”

“Actually, I was just a part of the crew here for half a year before I found the drive to want to perform myself. I didn’t start acting until my next job.”

I look around inside again and imagine what Samantha would be like running around this building as staff. I wonder if she was backstage running around and moving things, or part of the cleanup crew.

“What are you thinking of, My Pet? You’re making a weird face.”

“I was wondering what your job duties were. It would be interesting to know what kind of low level things you started off doing.”

“Well, on the average day I’d help build sets and be bossed around by many others. It was not that glorious. On show nights I’d be an usher and clean-up crew. I actually biffed it here by the door one night and smashed my elbow. That’s where this scar is from.” She points to the inch long scar.

I’ve never noticed that. I would have not taken Samantha to be clumsy.

“That must have been a nasty wound.”

“It was really painful. I hit the edge of this window, breaking through and lodging a piece of glass in there pretty good.”

I grimace at the description. I can’t imagine that. Ugh, that must have hurt. It must have been so much blood. Nope, stop thinking about that.

“So, is that what made you leave the job.” I ask, changing the subject.

“No, it’s not. I actually started dating a cast member and she convinced me to get into acting, we both left this place and went to a different theater.”

“Wait...was it like a regular girlfriend, not with all of this extra stuff?”

“Extra stuff? By that I’ll assume you’re meaning BDSM things. To answer your question, I hadn’t been exposed to that lifestyle yet, so yes, it was a regular relationship.”

“When did you get into the BDSM stuff then?”

Samantha looks down and away from me like she’s remembering a painful moment. “I’d say about a year after we broke up.”

Wow, she is shaken by this. It must have been a bad breakup. I want to know, but I don’t want it to cause her pain. But I’m with her now, it shouldn’t pain her, at least not that much…

“How long were you with her?”

“Three years.” She said flatly.

Wow, that’s almost two years longer than our relationship. It must have been love. She looks hurt from it still. Why is it affecting her so much?

“What happened between you two?”

“Uhh…” She trails off, “I mean, she left me to sleep her way up. I loved her for the three years we were together. And even after that.”

“That must have been rough.” I say trying to comfort her.

“I was lost and alone in a country I had nothing in. It was a bad time for me for about a year. I went to parties and just tried to forget her. Nothing I tried worked and I decided to focus on my career.” She explains further.

“I’m glad it gave you that drive.”

“Me too. I rose to the top because of her, and I’ve learned a new lifestyle along the way that was meant for me.” Samantha looks kind of defeated.

“She must mean a lot to you still.” I say after observing the hard time she’s having with this.

“Not really, I’ve never talked about this before. And I didn’t think I would have to. I didn’t believe I would date anyone else. Then you happened, you turned everything around and I wanted you to be only mine.” She says while smiling and gazing into my eyes.

“That does make me feel a little better. I was a little worried.” I admit honestly.

“I wasn’t trying to worry you. I didn’t expect to be affected by something that happened nearly fifteen years ago. Like I said, I’ve never talked about it before.”

Ugh, I really don’t want to talk about her ex more. Let’s switch subjects, maybe to what jobs she’s had as a performer.

“What kind of performances have you done and what was your favorite?”

“That’ll be funny to think about. Let’s favorite character that I’ve played would have to be...playing Amanda from the play A Feminine Ending."

“That sounds very interesting.”

“It was, I’ve done many performances and I learn a little more about myself with each one. However, that one drove it home to who I want to be and where I wanted to go.” She reveals.

“How did you get into movies? I ask curiously.”

“An acting agent came to one of my shows and loved my Romanian accent and acting. I started getting small roles in a few films and then major rolls. It all changed so fast. I went from barely making a living to a movie star in less than five years.”

“That’s incredible. You are wickedly talented, and I’m proud of you.” I express to her.

“Thank you. I say we should keep moving on with the tour. My second job, I was here for four years. It is a theater still in business called the Las Vegas Little Theater.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“Me either, I haven’t been there since I left. I’m excited to see if I know anyone working there still.”

That might be fun. I could possibly meet some of Samantha’s old friends and acquaintances.


“Here we are!” She says joyously, stepping out of the car and taking a breath of fresh air in the almost empty parking lot.

“Wow, this is not what I expected!” I look at the off white building with a green pagoda roof that is only above the main entrance of the long structure.

“It does look a little different, but it’s really top notch. Shall we?” She offers her arm to me and we walk inside of the theater together.

We walk around and Samantha tells me all the things that have changed aesthetically since she was last there. I get lost in her reminiscing voice as we walk through the halls.

“Are we even allowed to be here?” I ask her, wondering why we haven’t seen another person yet.

“Yes, I called ahead of time. They were thrilled to have me interested in coming by, of course they knew who I was and that I used to work here. They are practicing right now, so that’s why we haven’t run into anyone.”

“That makes sense. Have you ever thought of being a benefactor to this theater?” I ask curiously.

“I haven’t actually. I suppose I could see about becoming one. I would like to help keep the business running.” She responds.

“I think it might mean a lot coming from you with your history here.”

“I think you’re right. How about we take a peek at the rehearsal? It’s okay, they already know.”

“In that case, yes.”

We walk to the entrance of the main room and enter.

“No, no, no! Take it from the top of the scene again. This time more poise!” The director shouts to the stage while clapping her hands. She’s a tall and slender woman who has black hair in a pixie cut and is wearing a tightly fitted black pant-suit.

I take a few steps in to get a better look before turning back to Samantha. She’s standing frozen still at the back of the room. Why is she just standing there? Did something happen? Does she know someone?

The director turns around and sees us. She smacks her hands together and says, “Samantha, darling, it’s so wonderful to see you again! You’ve gone so far in life, I’m glad you wanted to stop by.”

The director walks straight past me and goes to Samantha. When she reaches her, she gives Samantha a quick kiss on the lips.

Oh no, who the fuck does she think she is? She can’t just do that! And Samantha didn’t even fight it. She didn’t do anything but stand there and maybe kiss back? Who the fuck is this bitch? Don’t tell me that’s her ex. It can’t be!

I rush to get between Samantha and this woman. This can’t be happening.

I see Samantha outstretch her arms and embrace the woman. No! Get the fuck away from her!

I get to Samantha’s side and break their embrace. “Excuse you.” I say rudely.

“Oh, how rude of me, I’m Alexandra, the director here. And you must be…”

“Her girlfriend! And you must be her ex.” I interrupt her.

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