Is This Love Book 2: Losing Yourself

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Chapter 8: The Saturdays

I made it. It’s finally Saturday.

This week has been a serious headache. It was my first week as an outpatient. I met with four different staff who are going to be helping me.

Each one has their own specialty and goals that I should work towards. To be honest, I wasn’t paying much attention. I just wanted to make it through till Saturday.

The meeting with Samantha went nice. She was really engaged in what they were saying and how she can offer her support to me.

I don’t need anything they are saying. I just need her.

Samantha also started sharing the bed with me. We haven’t actually had sex since my return, but that will all change today since I get to plan the afternoon.

What are we going to do today?

I sneak out of bed and go to the library to see if Samantha has any naughty books that I can get ideas from.

Wow, there’s a lot here. Let’s see. This section is mine, so let’s try over here next to the cello and piano. I wonder if Samantha plays these. The piano looks old and rugged, it’s even missing a couple keys. It has certainly been through a lot, however, the cello looks to be in pristine condition.

I look at the shelves around the instruments. Oh, up there! I spot the section on the top shelf.

What do we have here. I look through the books, there is ′Erotic Bondage’, ‘SM 101’, ‘The Loving Dominant’, and many more. I decide to grab ′BDSM Basics for Beginners.′

I start reading and learning about all of the terms and meanings in the BDSM world. I see many things that I would and wouldn’t do. I do like the idea of the spreader bar. I wonder if she has them? I get halfway through the book before I decide to put it back.

“Find anything interesting in there?” I jump at the sound of Samantha’s voice and almost fall down.

“Jesus! You almost killed me.” I shout in response.

“That’s a far cry from what just happened. Back to my question, did you find anything interesting?”

“Yes, I did. It gave a lot of good definitions but then it was primarily the 24/7 master/slave references that I don’t think I’d like doing.”

“Yeah, that is definitely a different way of living than most people are accustomed to.”

I wonder if she’s had a relationship like that.

As if reading my mind, Samantha continues talking, “I was a mistress for a year. It was an interesting time in my life. I don’t know if I would do it again though. I guess the circumstances would have to be right.”

“I see…” I wonder what else she has done. I’m sure she’s almost done it all. The only experience I have is what she has shown me.

“Is there anything else you want to know?”

“Tons.” I respond simply. Why aren’t we dating? Am I doing something wrong? Do you still love me? How much stuff have you done? How many partners have you had? How did I compare to the other subs?

My mind keeps rattling off questions. Stick with one. What is the most important right now? “What are we?” I finally say.

“Last I checked I think we fall into the category of Homosapiens.” Samantha jokes with me.

“Shut up. I mean like are we dating, or in a relationship? And do you still like or love me?”

“Honestly, I would say that is complicated. Yes, I do love you. However, relationship wise, I want you to learn to love yourself and know who you are before we officially get back together. I want to make sure that if something ever happens to me, you will have a better hold on yourself. You really did scare me. You almost died from your actions after losing me. I’m going to do everything I can to prevent that from happening again.”

I let her words sink in. She still loves me. But she says I almost died. I guess that is true, I lost myself without her. I didn’t care what happened, all I wanted to do was forget. If something happened to her, I would go down the same path again without a doubt. She is right. I do need to work on myself.

I get past the tough emotions and finally say with a smirk, “Prove it.”

“Prove what?” She questions.

“Prove that you love me still. For my Saturday reward, I want you to make love to me in your dungeon and I wouldn’t mind trying a spreader bar if you have it.”

Samantha ponders my request, “This way, My Pet. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten, wait for me.”

With that command, I walk myself to her sex room. I open the door and it’s like nothing has changed. The toys are displayed the same with crops and floggers lining the walls and my stool sits by the foot of the bed.

I walk over and kneel on the stool. I place my arms on my legs and lower my head.

I sit there for many minutes, waiting for Samantha and trying my hardest not to move. I finally hear her high heels clicking on the floor as she makes her way around the room.

I can tell she is taking her time. “Is there any other request you have, My Pet?” She speaks from across the room.

Yes, you. Oh and pain. I crave the sensual stinging sensation that you afflict me with. Maybe a crop this time. “Yes, My Queen. I would like you to use a crop and I also want to please you, My Queen.”

“I will grant your request, My Pet.”

I smile and can’t wait for the moments to progress.

“Stand, remove your clothes, and lie face down in the center of the bed.” Samantha commands.

I follow as quickly as possible. My clothes fly off faster than I have ever taken them off before. I jump up on the bed and lay on my stomach.

I hear Samantha’s heels closing in on me. I can almost feel her presence and eyes beating down on my bare skin. I hear the crop.


I don’t feel anything. What did she hit? Please, I need this.


The crop definitely hit flesh, but not my own. My body writhes in anger.

Samantha grabs my ankles and pulls them apart. She then binds them to the spreader bar. She climbs on top of me and sits on my ass.

The pressure of her body on mine feels so good. Why is she on me? This is neither of the things I said.

She then grabs each arm and attaches them to a spreader bar behind my back. I see now. This is a little awkward for my arms though.

“Loosen your shoulders.” Samantha touches my shoulders and lowers them.

That feels better.

“Are you ready to begin, My Pet?”

“Yes, please, My Queen.”

Samantha gets off the bed and starts running the crop and down my body. She trails it over each limb creating a path of sensitivity as she goes.

Smack! Smack!

The burning sensation heats each of my butt cheeks. Yes. It hurts so good. My body starts warming in response.

I can faintly hear orchestra music playing in the background.

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!

The crop contradicts the smooth, calm melody creating a sound resonating in my mind.

Each thigh begins to sting sending vibrations to my core.

“Is this what you wanted, My Pet.” Samantha whispers seductively in my ears.

“Gods yes, My Queen.” I say and she swings the crop against the flesh on my shoulders. “Mmm.” A moan escapes from deep within me.

“Do you know what I like doing to you, My Pet?” She whispers to me again.

“What, My Queen?”

She applies pressure between my shoulders, holding me immobile while smacking the crop against my ass. “Uhh, mmmm.” My body responds to the sensations.

“I like controlling your pleasure and watching your response to my actions, My Pet.”

I bury my face in the bed and let out a muffled moan. If words were able to make you orgasm, it would have happened to me on the spot. Gods she talks so hot. Please fuck me.

The desire building within me grows quickly. I just want it released, but I don’t want it to be over.

Samantha smacks my ass with her hand and rubs out the stinging. She massages closer and closer to my sex. “Please.” I whimper.

“Are you begging me, My Pet?” She says powerfully.

“Yes, My Queen.”

She smacks my ass over and over again, rubbing each one out, creating the need to be fucked now. “Please, My Queen. I can’t take it anymore. I need you in me!” I speak with strength that I didn’t know I had.

Samantha grazes my pussy with her fingers and rubs my clit a little.

I let out a moan and my heart rate quickens.

She plunges a finger deep inside me and I scream out in pleasure, “Fuck…yes!”

“You are so wet for me. That pleases me, My Pet. I will please you now.” She says and slides another finger inside.

My body tries to move, but I can’t my arms and feet are held in place. I just want to help to make it easier.

She quickens her pace and I move my body against the motions of her hand, creating more friction.

Each breath is a small moan I’m getting so close.

She slides a third finger in me and rubs my clit. A few seconds later my body shudders, “Fuck….me…..fuck...uhhh...Samantha!” I scream out as a mind shattering orgasm consumes me.

Samantha releases me from my restraints and holds me. I’m so happy that tears start to fall uncontrollably down my cheeks.

“Thank you. I needed that. I’ve missed you so much, My Queen.” I say between sobs.

She holds me tighter. “I’ve missed you as well, My Pet. I’m not going anywhere.”

She holds until I regain my strength and we listen to the calming orchestra play in the background. I’ve never been this exhausted after sex before.

“It’s your turn, My Queen.”

“Indeed it is, My Pet. You will worship every inch of me and please me how I say.”

I worship Samantha’s body for an hour trying to memorize every inch of her and show the appreciation I have. She then directs me to give her an equally amazing orgasm as she gave me.

“You better get used to this.” I say with a smile, “Because this is my request for every Saturday.”

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