I Love You, I Hate You
Three weeks Later
I coiled back in the warm bath water like a scared dog in a kennel as he approached me, yet again. His large hands dipped the beige sponge in the water as a large dollop of soap snaked its way atop.
“Come here, Liza. You need to be washed,” he said in a stern, booming voice.
“How much longer are you going to keep me here like this?” I asked.
“Not much longer. I told you. It’s just temporary until...”
“Until what?” I interjected. He hung his head in shame again grasping a secret inside his pocket.
“Until I can be assured that it’s safe for us to pass over the boundary. Then, we can get the children back,” he said.
Scooping up the water in my hands, I splashed it from the tub into his face.
“You’re a liar! Let me go. You have to let me go!” I pleaded.
He wiped the water from his face, staring down at me like a concerned father. The softness of his touch aroused me as he gave me a gentle stroke with the sponge.
“You’re going to calm down now. I’ve been patient with you, but I’ve told you. You have to give me what I want,” he snarled in a low voice.
The sponge drifted to the top of the water as his bare hand was now washing my extremities. I rested my head on the back of the porcelain tub as I felt his fingers slip up my thigh and into my sex.
“Oh God,” I moaned, gripping each side of the tub as his fingers did a dance inside my clitoris. His eyes shone with a sinful desire as he bared his teeth, moving his fingers in and out of me.
“Don’t stop! Please don’t stop!” I begged as he began to pull me into ecstasy.
“Ask me, Liza. I want you to ask me,” he said. My arms wrapped around his neck as I pulled him over the side of the tub and into the water with me. His wet clothes clung to his body like shrink wrap. The thickness of his member stood at attention like a soldier as he labored to pry the wet clothes from his body.
“Don’t tease me, Liza,” he said, giving me a passionate kiss as his hands pulled my hips toward him.
“I can’t Blane. I can’t,” I cried, prying my hands under his chest to push him away. He sat up in the tub, staring back at me with remorse. Each of his hands caressed my cheeks as his eyes softened toward me.
“I understand that you can’t, but you must understand that I can’t either,” he said.
“Its been like this for weeks Blane. I’ve complied with your daily routine. When do we get to go? What do I have to do?” I cried.
“Please, please don’t do that Liza. I can’t stand it when you cry. I can’t tell you when or how, but when the time is right, both of us will know,” he explained.
“Where’s my mom?” I asked.
“Your mother is fine,” he responded shortly.
“I don’t understand any of this. It’s not that I don’t like it here with you. It’s that I want to get my kids back,” I said.
“I do too!” he snapped, standing up out of the water. His flaccid penis had deflated like a popped balloon animal.
“Come,” he said, holding up the towel to me. “Let’s get you dressed again.”
As his large hands wrapped the towel around my dripping wet body, he held me close. Looking up at him, my eye caught sight of some silver strands of hair sprinkling throughout his normally jet black locks. His eyes were heavy with bags as he looked back at me. Touching the platinum lock of hair, my eyes met his with a look of interest.
“What’s going on here?” I asked. He pulled away from me, trying to conceal his aging appearance.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
“Your hair. It’s turning gray again,” I responded.
“It’s nothing, Liza. Will you get dressed and meet me in the living room?” he asked.
“You mean you’re letting me out of my room today?” I asked.
“Yes,” he whispered. “See you soon.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
He nodded his head as he turned to leave me. I could see every muscle in his butt and thighs flexing as he walked away from me with his clothes bundled up in front of him in a ball to cover his private parts. I had not yet been taken over the edge of climax and I still longed to have his body. The chill of the air breezed over my skin as I put on my evening garments. Reminded that I had a shawl in my closet, I grabbed it and placed it over my shoulders.
He stood there, gazing into a crackling fire with his right arm propped up against the mantle. The scotch on the rocks in his left hand clinked against the glass as he slurped it down. His passionate, black eyes were focused and still as he appeared to be in deep thought. The flames engulfed a couple of logs in the fireplace. Beads of rain beat against the house with an irreverent warning as the gusts of wind caused the trees outside to flail about. The internal temperature of the house had dropped considerably, making the fire look like a pleasant invitation. I drew closer to him, rubbing each of my arms to warm myself by the fire.
“A storm is coming,” he said, maintaining his current posture.
“That’s apparent,” I responded.
“It’s her,” he said.
“Her who?” I asked.
He cocked his head, peering into me with bloodshot eyes. Each wrinkle in his face made known his current dissatisfaction.
“Issiryth. My mother,” he said grasping again at the secret in his pocket.
“What’s in your pocket?” I asked.
“That’s of no consequence!” he snapped.
“What’s your problem Blane?”
“It’s you. You’re my problem! I’ve never had this issue with the others,” he said.
“The others? So, you’ve done this before? You kidnap women and children and try to make them your puppets?”
“No, Liza,” he said grasping my shoulders. “Don’t you see? She’s put a curse on me and only you can break it. I’ve been searching for the one who can break the curse, and I found her. It’s you. It’s always been you.”
“What are you talking about?” I said slinking away.
“Please don’t think I’m a monster, but my mother, Issiryth... She’s put a curse on me. Look at me. I’m growing old again,” he said falling to his knees.
“There are worse things that could happen to you aside from growing old,” I said.
“Yea? Like what?” he asked hanging his head. The wind roared from outside of the window, cautioning us to its wrath.
“You have no idea. None whatsoever of the pain I feel every single day. All I want to do is love someone and for him to love me back. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been lied to and manipulated in the name of love, but no matter what, I’ve always had two tiny faces who adored me unconditionally. There is nothing more in this world that I love more than my children, nothing at all. Every goddamn day that goes by here that I’m in this house eating your fine foods and drinking your stupid ass cocktails is another day that my boys don’t have their mother. Without them, I don’t want to live because they are my only reason to breathe. Don’t you understand? So, if you could focus on something other than the fact that you have some gray hair and a woman in your house that won’t put out, I’d really, really appreciate it. Just get me those kids back,” I said with tears welling up in my eyes.
Each of his hands gave my face a tender touch as he stood to face me. The care shown in his eyes as he bent down to kiss my forehead. The wind again picked up from outside, smashing large raindrops against the windows. His arms wrapped around me as he held my head while I cried.
“Please don’t cry, Liza. You know I hate it when you cry. You and I. We aren’t so different. You know? We really aren’t all that different. I know what it is to have loved and lost. I’ve been doing it for five hundred years while my mother gave and then took things away from me. I’ll find a way. You have to trust me. I’ll do it. I’ll find a way,” he said again, clutching something inside his pocket.
“What is this curse?” I asked, looking up at a vulnerable Blane. The thunder cracked overhead as the winds of the storm were quite apparently not letting up.
“She’s doing this. You know?” he said, as if to warn me of what is yet to come. “You should have never gone out in that ocean Liza.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just wanted to get the boys,” I said.
“She killed my father. In some ways, I’m envious of him because he was spared the torment of having the indulgence of this world that she’s created, but I will never forgive her for what she’s done.”
I touched his cheek as a single tear managed to escape the corner of his eye and stream aimlessly down his face. He closed his eyes as he savored the affection, placing his strong hand on top of mine. To see his raw emotion was powerful, yet grievous.
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I consoled him.
“I’m not. I’d do it all a thousand times over just to bring me to this moment where I’ve found you. It doesn’t even matter if you break the curse anymore. Simply having you here is worth all the torment in the world,” he said, pulling me close to him and resting his head on top of mine.
How I had longed to hear those words. It was too bad it had come to me in poor timing from a man I scarcely trusted. The feelings of love for him were overwhelming none-the-less as I fully accepted him into my loving arms.
“You don’t have to stay here as my prisoner. You know? You can leave any time you want to. I know I can’t keep you here, but I’m afraid if I let you go you’ll get hurt,” he said.
“Does that mean you’ll stop locking me up?” I asked.
He let out a heavy sigh.
“If you want me to, I will.”
“I want you to,” I said.
“Very well then Liza. Will you lie with me on the couch a bit?” he asked.
“I can’t....” I started.
“I won’t try to make love to you even if you ask me,” he interjected, throwing his hands in front of himself. “I want you to know that none of this is about you putting out.”
“Okay,” I whispered, grasping his hand and leading him to our place on the couch. I could feel the moistness of his tears as his head rested on top of mine. The constriction of his grasp around me was troublesome. Not only was it comforting, but it reminded me that he may change his mind about releasing me.
“Don’t cry, Blane. Please don’t cry,” I implored. As the storm persisted from outside the house, so did his hold on me. Tightening still more and more, I began to feel an unforgiving squeeze that did not relent.
“You’re hurting me, Blane. Please stop. Just stop that,” I begged trying to squirm away, but it proved difficult as his embrace distinctly changed into something more limiting.
“Shhhhhh,” he said.
“Blane! You’re hurting me! Stop!” I exclaimed, but he continued to hold me close. His eyes remained still and focused on the crackling fire as he kept his stubborn grasp on me.
“Blane! Stop! Stop!” I yelled. He began to chuckle under his breath.
“It’s her,” he mumbled from beneath his evil laughter as the fire expanded and roared from inside the fireplace. Laughing still, his eyes didn’t move from the flames. The warmth of the growing fire seared my skin as he held me in place.
“Stop it! Stop it! Issiryth!” I yelled. As her name escaped my lips, the fire went out like a snuffed candle. His arms let go of their grasp. My body jolted from its spot next to him with a look of terror written across my face.
“What’s the matter, Liza? What happened?” he asked.
“You’re a monster! I can’t believe you would do that to me!” I cried.
“Do what? What are you speaking of?” he asked rushing to my side once more. With my hands I pushed his chest, causing him to move away from me.
“Leave me alone!” I yelled, turning away from him and running down the hallway as fast as my little feet would carry me. On the cusp of reaching me, I managed to slam the door in his face before he could pass over the threshold. I was however tasked with holding the doorknob shut while he tried to force his way in.
“Let me in. I don’t know what happened. We were on the couch one moment, then the next you’re acting crazy. Let me in!” he exclaimed.
“No!” I shouted as I labored to hold the door shut. “I don’t trust you!”
“I don’t know what I did! I swear! Please don’t mad at me!” he shouted back.
“Just leave me alone! Just go away!” I screamed. I could hear his fists banging against the door.
“Fine!” he exclaimed as he slipped the key in to lock the door.
“Blane! No! Please!” I begged as I tried to twist the door open.
“I guess it has to be this way, Liza. I thought I could trust you, but I guess I can’t,” he said.
“You can Blane! You can! Please just don’t lock me in here anymore!” I pleaded, but it was to no avail. I heard nothing other than his footsteps walking away from me from the other side of the door and my heart sank. How could he lock me up again?