Lost Cause

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Chapter 3

A quiet although chill morning welcomed us. The risen suns' rays tickling me into consciousness. I nestled on Comfortable, warm, hard, breathing? Gasp. I flung my eyes open. " How did I creep into the embrace of his arms?" writhing under I was made aware of his breath sharp on my face. In that instant my arm acted before I knew what happened, his cradling arm was tossed over the top of my head only to send him to the floor. Following the momentum I fell back. An angry, sleep filled rasp came forth spewing curses "Is that how you awaken a person in the morn. Gosh! I had nearly broken my neck. Why I-". "I hadn't meant to,"came the apologetic reply. After the rude awakening he drew himself up, brows scrunched with annoyance Leo plucked his shirt from the floor lazily dressing himself. I was a little ashamed of myself to be honest. I suppose I do owe him gratitude for not compromising me and such. "What has you looking to be in discomfort now?," Leo puzzled, staring. Colour rose to my cheeks as I spat out in a frenzy," Thank you for last night". I was mean tempered but not unkind. Leo startled by my abrupt sense of gratitude offered me a suggestive smile accompanying his retort, "Though do make an advanced notice because I'd rather you sleep with me on a bed than floor. The hard surface doesn't meet my needs well." A frown pressed down on my brows showing the lout I am not pleased nor am impressed at his supposed witty remark. Be it another I'm quite sure those words might have sparked wantonness, possible frothing at the mouth.

Stretching out my limbs I found myself to be in a compromising position with Leo's lips on mine. The abrupt act left me motionless for a couple of seconds. The hardness of his chest stroked my breasts through the jacket. His heat on me much more intimate, different, from last night. Gently teasing my lips open, his wet tongue slid in. I was allowing it. Irresistible. Irresponsible? Possibly so. The sensation wasn't unpleasant to boot my body reacted to his foul play. I was fading into sweet oblivion: he made me shudder with delight, my breathing coming out heavy. Toying, forcing his mouth to mine, exploring it as if he was searching for something. What depravity is this, provoking me to sin. Oh my! He tasted so sweet, like honey on pancakes or treacle poured on curd. Furthermore, as if his tongue tease wasn't enough, he strapped his body to mine. I could feel his hard body tense beneath the thin material of his shirt, then in a matter of seconds a hardness blossomed from below seeming to protrude outward poking just above my hips. It was...gasping I pulled away then palmed him hard. "How dare you!you-", catching my breath wondering what unexpected situation I was in. I took off before he could respond.

"What an interesting creature you are," he smiled amusingly.

I ran clumsily tripping on air trying to fathom what in blazes happened. "He kissed me and I..," a sob of disbelief came over me. Not that I have been a prude or anything I have allowed myself the pleasures of a man. "I'm not some sort of school girl to be alarmed by such a thing. I'll be damned if I've lived my young adult years walking the dust not to at least have shared a kiss or two with a gentleman. I am no call girl nor quite a nun either but but.. There's some charm about the way," I paused feeling bashful recalling the scene. A clash of emotions pulsed through every nerve. The sentiments : anger, confusion,excitement, shame,fear, longing all fought a battle of where there would be no clear victors.

That night lying in my bathtub I drifted off into a slumber; I dreamt of many ludicrous things. Ponies, talking mice, funny little miniature people, along with a very well built, dark haired, light eyed prince with a caramel complexion. The figure was so out of place among all the fantasy. Suddenly I was falling, waking up on a huge intricately engraved bed dressed in a high slit silk red night gown. The fiery waves on my head spread out like colours splattered on a canvas. A cool breeze walked in from an open window making the curtains sway then glided pass them to kiss my cheek before it disappeared. Rising up on my elbows, I spotted a daunting creature across the room who watched me intently. I was hit with a rush of excitement accompanied by danger then lust followed by desire. Yes, this gaze made me know it all, made me shudder with anticipation. The overwhelming shadow drew closer, gliding with ease over the polished floor. Closing the gap between us the shadow took shape of a man, the whiff of a man's odour was all around me, his countenance emerged from the dimness with handsome features. The dark streaming hair tapping at the long lashes gave attention to the Grayish- green peeper that narrowed it's sight, whiskers seemed to be forming on top of a troublesome grin. A chiseled jaw line framed his face then further down I saw his neck, tough collar bones framed his upper body. Falling on me, this big man and I moulded together like honey on cheese. Slowly I felt him hot nibbling the arch of my ear. Clinging to him I begged for more. Moving downward he then laid a trail of kisses to my lips, taking them with his mouth forcefully, hungrily each moment more fierce than the next. A caramel covered hand tangled itself into my waves grabbing a handful of red locks while the other satisfied with cupping my bosom. I ached and burned at every touch. He was strong yet gentle, fierce yet kind. Carefully he caressed me wooing me. What new sensation had opened up within me. I was frightened yet thrilled at the thought of him ravishing me. Oh! I could barely contain it. The heat rose inside me as I pulled away from his kisses to hardness beneath his robe. Cunning man. He teased me. Playing with the slit of my nightgown, trailing his fingers up and down my thigh with rhythm, his thumb was crowned in a gold band. "Release me from this. I cannot.. I want to," panting I reached my hands around his neck." Not yet love. I'm not done with you," he said continuing his sweet torture. I trembled. My flesh throbbed for release. I wanted to hold him hard within me. "Ask me to release you," he whispered seeming to read my thoughts. "Say my name, chant it, Leo." With that the dream ended. Springing upright I gathered myself to a standstill.

My pulse had quickened, my nipples erect, heat flowed through my being awakening a longing in-between my legs. Stunned I tried to make sense of what kind of dream that was; did what happen earlier shake me that much? Or was my biological urge playing tricks on me? I can't believe this! That the one who would make me pant and beg was my best friend's brother. Unacceptable! he had discredited me even in my dreams. That cocky arse!

Warily rising from the tub I toweled my dripping nakedness. To my surprise I found evidence of my excitement leaking from my sex. "Bloody hell!" I cursed. "As if a horrible sexual dream was not enough now I have to bear shame of the proof. Am I such a perverse person?" I grumbled all the while I got into bed. The remaining hours of darkness I spent with restlessness.

"Emma! Hello? I'm here," my voice echoed in the vast hall. "Amelia, Welcome," Doe warmly greeted, then added, " Emma took off earlier than planned for the weekend, to my mom's place, in fact I'm to join her now. Thank you for house sitting for us. Help yourself to anything. Oh! Tea. Emma said that she has your favourite in the cupboard. Terribly sorry I'm in a rush. Thanks again," he spoke in a hurry as he exited the building. "Take care ,"I called after him.

Every time I come here it's like my first so I couldn't help but explore the brick giant, the interior of the beast was magnificent. The floor to ceiling windows draped with fine patterned curtains were drawn permitting light to run free making the surrounding more vivid. Every place was intricately designed, probably her husband's doing:Mr. Rutledge always had an eye for detail. The soft colours that brightened it up brought a feminine touch, which obviously screamed Emma. The place was just massive.

"Gosh! Does she not have any good movies here," I complained then traded the movie for a snack. Yawn. The midafternoon drowsiness kicking in the lounge area looked too comfortable so I yielded to it's command agreeing to lay on its softness before dozing off. I woke later feeling refreshed. Stretching my limbs I shuffled to the phone when I saw a light, "weird." Then pressed the button next to the flashing light when it spoke. A rough voice came through, "Sister I know it's inconvenient right now but I must speak with you. I'll be there shortly." I almost swallowed my tongue, "Doesn't he know Emma isn't here? Tell me this is yesterday's message and she forgot to check." Should I call back? Ignore? What if he really is one his way here? Honk. Shit! too late. Should I just hide now and let him leave? I really don't want to see him. I gave up my stupid plan deciding to just get this over with.

He burst through the door calling out for his sister realising he had only found me instead. "What are you doing here?" he eyed me. "Emma isn't here. She's with Doe at his mom's. I'm just house sitting till they get back," I explained. I watched him take in that information when he muttered to himself. "She did not tell me," he offered aloud then took of for the kitchen."Great. Now what? Should I tell him to leave," I asked myself. Joining him in the kitchen I kept a safe distance between us while watching him grimace at a strong liquor. He continued this till he noticed me staring. I retreated before he got any ideas. It had been about forty-five minutes since Leo came ; I'm feeling fidgety with him here. "I wonder what has him in such a mood. If only Emma was here," I moved to check on him incase he decided to pass out somewhere. I came upon him staring into the sunset looking forlorn, like something had weighted him. I felt a spark of compassion swell within for him.

I boldly dropped beside him on the patio. Well this is awkward. Should I say something? Honestly I never think before doing things. I could feel him burn a hole in my side, "You are still here," he stated. "House sitting remember," I spoke softly. "Right," he nodded. "Would you like a sip?" he offered me his glass. I shook my head to indicate I didn't. "Um.. I'm sorry Emma isn't here but if you want.. I mean you seem troubled," I said in an attempt to make him open up. "Is that how I look to you?" Leo raised a brow at me then sighed. "Your right I am," then continued, "I made a mistake. One that does not go away easy. I just.. Gosh! I don't know what I was thinking. You do things without a thought then once done it's like why was I so stupid.. You know." I do know. However, I just listened and nodded. I felt sorry for this man. Leo didn't look as smug today. He didn't even bother to take a jab at me. I bet he would not have liked for me to see him like this yet the sorrow and alcohol do not really care for his ego at the moment.

I still dislike him for being an arse but right now I can't hate him. I can understand having a hard day. Leo grabbed me in hug almost suddenly I didn't know what to do. His arms wrapped firmly around me not allowing me a choice but to accept it. The dream I had popped into my mind causing me to flush a cherry red. I pushed that far away. "That's not what this is," I told myself. Since Emma isn't here I should probably comfort her brother putting my feelings aside, whatever they maybe.


I think i'm drunk. I don't know how much I confessed to her but it felt good to let that out. Why didn't Emma tell me Amelia was staying over? This is a mess. I'm a mess. I don't know what it is I'm doing right now but this feels good. Having someone.. having Amelia wrap her arms around me in a comforting embrace. I like it. I might regret this in the morning regardless I need this now. She smells sweet, her hair tickling my nose. I breathed her in. Anything to get me away from the feeling of my foolishness.

The memory when I kissed her last came forth. The softness of her lips the way she felt in my arms. I want to kiss her again. I hate that my sister has a friend like her. I also hate my sister for introducing us because now she.. I have to care for Amelia like my sister would, a friend. I don't want to. I do not care for this girl, it's just at this time she caught me at a vulnerable moment. She is letting me embrace her without a comment. She must like this too. I want to kiss her.

"Amelia," I whispered. She looked up at me eyes filled with pity? "I don't want your pity," my mind howled. I moved to kiss her, a punishing kiss. One that would bruise but she didn't withdraw just endured. I'm a selfish bastard hurting her for looking at me so. Hurting her for my stupidity. I lightened the kiss, less punishing, more gentle like a lover. I felt her push against me now, I didn't give way. She tastes good. Why? I don't care. I'm not going to question it anymore. Not today. Not now. I do not need to feel anything besides her.

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