Lost Cause

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Chapter 4

It dawned like it would all other days except this time the golden star seems to have been quite deep in slumber that its awakening was slow and dull like a teenager on a school day but of course it could have just been my sleepless night. The day like last began anew as I proceeded to do the chores. After the work had been done I draped myself over the couch admiring the 'sparkle in my room'. I avoided any thoughts of Leo and his kisses, despite that I hope he fixed whatever that was bothering him. I didn't speak of it to Amelia hoping Leo will open up to her himself. I was so relieved she came back when she did, unsure of when Leo might walk back in again to kiss me silly. Sigh.

As I sat there warming the couch an intrusive memory of my mother came forth. It had been eight years since her demise. She had been quite erratic during her final days now that I ponder on it. After all her lovers had stopped their courting mother always sat in a corner humbling her tall frame against the wall. Sometimes I would catch her mumble to the wall; they would respond she had said. I did worry about her odd behaviour till one eve my neighbour had found her embracing the dirt covering it crimson in her life source. As a young girl I was greatly saddened by the loss of my parent for I had not another. Even through my grief I recall thinking she looked most peaceful in death than alive lying in the wooden box. This thought was accompanied by a lonely tear streaking down from now misty eyes. I backhanded the tear away but before long both eyes dripped a salty mix of solitude, pain as well as hollowness? Yes! I felt like a crater carved after an explosion or a hole in the ground left after some serious digging Torch did. Torch was the neighbour's dog, he did enjoy that sort of messy thing as would any dog I suppose.

"Amelia it is not like you to be all teary eyed over the events that had past. Mother had made her decision there was all but naught you could have done," I spoke aloud.

Self pity was accompanied by my inhalement of food. Soon I realised I needed something stronger to be cured of these ill feelings so I found the alcohol that I tend to keep for these occasions. After being sufficiently cured I flipped through the picture box to find something that would be equally as ridiculous as the sight I presented but I was disappointed. "So much for trying to watch something depressing. Stupid!" I yelled as I pitched the remote toward the damned thing. Sprawling on the floor like dirty laundry I watched the bland wall above me, heard the air conditioner exhale, smelt the lavender air freshener running through partially blocked nostrils then passed out.

Come morning I felt the remnant taste of alcohol in my mouth, not a pleasant taste to have before even fully awake. Sleepy eyes took in its surroundings only to be greeted by a litter of bottles, tissues, and an empty plate looking over the sofa." Not the best of nights." I rolled over lazily trying to find my feet. Using the strength of my arms, pushing myself off the ground I took to my feet slightly wobbling. Willing myself into a shower then dressing in clean clothes I phoned Emma. "Darling it's been awhile since I've last heard from you. Are you well? Sounding a bit groggy love, don't tell me you've knocked yourself into a drunken stupor again," she spoke with a hint of sympathy. Noting the obvious care in the tone of my friend I replied, "Not a good decision I admit." An hour later of usual chatter I placed down the receiver.

Time for me to go visit Mr George. He was a friend of the family who took pity on me bringing me back home with him to his family. I stayed under his care till I was old enough to care for myself. I owe him much.

As I stood at the front door it opened up to a younger gentleman who greatly resembled George. "Hello there Fred," came my greeting. Fred ushered me inside however he did not offer me a seat so I stood in the hall waiting for him to address me. A minute later I was startled with a slap across my right cheek. "You dare come back here again," his voice shook with anger. "What? How dare you- Where is George?" I cried out, "George! George!" The angry man bellowed, "My father has been laid to rest. Why is it now that you come? Get out! I am to never see you again you hear. All anger from his assault turned into pain. I couldn't possibly believe the things he uttered. George was not dead. How? All I did was stand there frozen in disbelief till he shoved me- hard. Tripping over myself I collapsed on the floor outside the entrance. "Wait! I-" he cut my plea off with the slamming of the door. I took to the streets with this new information. How could I not know? Why did I not visit sooner? Weighted with guilt I walked the tar road not stopping till a blaring horn forced my head to face the furious driver. I apologised for my stupidity moving out of the vehicle's path.


It had been 8 weeks since I knew of George's passing. It was a hard fact to digest knowing I would never see him again. He was the sort of man one would pride themselves in knowing. Deciding I needed a jog to erase the oncoming wave of sorrow I hopped into a pair of trainers. There was a ground I frequented that was close by. All types of people fluttered about the space: runners, children, power walkers and of course couples were spread about. I ran the usual route feeling the breeze comb my strands all while concentrating on the burn in my legs. Coming to a standstill I panted with my hands on my knees. I took one step forward before I lost balance landing on my ass. Before I could rise up off the dirt I toppled over with this stranger kneeing my midriff. "Sorry but you were sitting in the middle of the path," the stranger justified. I explained my clumsiness with an apology of my own before taking off. The encounter with the sweet stranger that knocked me over reminded me that I had not seen my friend since the party. I did miss Emma, terribly so. Deciding to make a trip over I thought it best not tell her of my encounter with Fred including the news of George.

Sigh. I suppose I should make her aware of my arrival instead of simply dropping over. "Hey Em! Would you mind if I dropped by for a bit? Just to well-", Emma interrupted before I could I finish, "Why of course, " she was rather displeased I had to ask then began, "You're always welcome. Honestly bring yourself over I've got freshly baked cookies and that tea you seem to like. I'll be awaiting your arrival then."

I'd say I was speeding but it was a Sunday morning, less traffic where it being a perfect excuse to be little harum-scarum. Had a bit of difficulty with the winding roads but other than that it was quite alright. Reaching, I made acquaintance with an enormous gate guarding a mansion sitting on damp grass whilst tiny people seemed to be running around tending to roses: reminded me of the tiny workmen Willie wonka had around the factory. As I neared the two story building I watched the little factory people turn into full-sized beings. "Oh dear me! It's weird to think they looked so dwarf-ish before," I laughed at this thought understanding it's either the distance or just that the house made for giants made them very unflattering. They seemed to recognise me for they would depart after offering a slight nod or a brief smile. It is possible since I have been over countless times, to and fro, like I owned the place so I guess they would know by now.

Ejecting out of the car seat to the cheerful ambience I was greeted in a merry voice accompanying hurried footsteps," Rose, so glad you came. " Caught in the delicate embrace of her arms I could do nothing but smile. Emma often called me Rose when not in company :a nickname from my youth that not merely reflects the colour of my coils but my person as well. Amelia is my given name. Apparently Emma loved how the name 'Rose' explained my brazenness to be passionate." Hello Em! Lovely as always just a tad too dressed for my taste." "Hey now that's not nice," she prompted a coy smile before adding, "Well I see your still the odd ball, always, with your boyish garb." Exchanging giggles I admitted, "I guess so."




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