A Day before Result
5 May , 2008
Tomorrow , our result will be announced by C.B.S.E. .
My life has changed a lot and it's all because of Sukhsirat .
I was curious about her . Sorry ! About , the thing she did when she saw my suicide note . I never thought that she would react like it . I even never knew it that she cared about me .
But when I texted her about this , her reply was heart touching . I will write them below but without the questions I asked her , so it might look like a long text but she texted it intermittently .
Her text were .....
Hello Yash ,
I know what you might be thinking about What I said " I cared about you " , it was .....( I will not tell you what she said , it's our private talk ) .......
From class I , I had a bit of crush on you . You were the only one who motivated me to study harder .
In class VI , I thought that you were making mistakes knowingly , so that I can be a topper . I always knew it that you had a ability to learn instantly . And it seemed you never forget anything.
Now you may be thinking hard , did I ? But I am the proof . I know you never let girls won in quiz matches which were held between girls and boys of our class .
I always saw your hand raised ,even if the question was out of syllabus . You might have forgot that but I remember it. Even if it was you who made boy's team won , you never say it and praised me for competing well .
And that was the reason I forgave you on the day you said Abusive word . At first I thought to tell about it to our class teacher but than I thought to give you second chance . I know after that you started using that tone frequently and it always made me feel bad but still being your friend I forgave you .
In class VII , the day your friend showed you class VIII book , you showed that picture to me . I was feeling ashamed as well as happy . That is one of the unforgettable memory .
In class VIII , when teacher told us about sexual reproduction , I knew you were watching me but also I was watching your cute smile , which you were making by tilting your head down . For the whole period my eyes were on you.
When you and your friend were watching something at the back I knew it well that it was something wrong .
.....I was able to hear girls moaning ....It 's sound was loud .....
At that time I felt very ashamed but still I didn't tell it to our class teacher because you were my friend and I didn't want teacher scold you . But now , I think , if I would have told teacher than you might have not done what you did .
In class IX , I knew it well that you were bunking classes but still I didn't tell to our class teacher ....I was a fool...I should have told it to your parents ....
In starting of class X , when you had a fight , I was worried about you , therefore I was forcing you to tell me what happened . And as you were angry enough , you called me .....
I never blamed you for that , but I blamed myself and stopped talking with you .
Next day , when I saw a group of boys beating you , I tried to stop them but they threw me away . I ran inside school and called a teacher to protect you .
By luck you were alive or else....
When we reached hospital , you were shifted to emergency ward. I was praying God to save you....
Thankfully , you were saved but doctor told us that you had a injury in your head and because of it you will forget some part of your memory . And unluckily , the memory that you lost was your good childhood memories and your ability to learn things fast . Doctor advised us never to tell you about it or force you to remember it . He also advised your parents to be more cautious of you.
And therefore they acted as if you were a child . They never thought it would be a burden for you .
The day you left your home your mom was about die . Your father somehow managed to stop her from doing something like that ...
When they didn't find you , they both decided to do suicide on third day . The pain of losing their only son was too much for them .
But when you called on third day , they were extremely happy , your father didn't wait a second and went away to took you back .
If you wouldn't have called them on third day , I think you would not be able to see them again ...
Both thought that you ran away because they scold you . So they stopped scolding you . On other hand your friends maintained distance from you because their parents didn't want their children to talk with someone who left home .
The same goes for me.
But when I found your suicide note , it was impossible for me stop myself from talking with you . I expressed my feelings to you and somehow managed to save you. Than I thought to make you know about your abilities and therefore I started teaching you and now I am sure that you have seen your ability to learn quickly . This was my way to say sorry because I never stopped you doing wrong works , even after knowing it .
Also this is my way to say thank-you , for making my childhood memories full of colours .
And remember you promised me you will not tell anyone about what I said that day
After reading them I cried , because I never thought everyone cared me that much .
I felt sorry for making my parents worried about me and also I felt sorry for making my friends especially Sukhsirat to worry about me .