In Holy Mafiamony: Til Death Do Us Part

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Ch.11| Sperm Donor

We left the clinic and got in the elevator. Silently, we went down two floors to the lab. I handed the nurse the lab slip and confirmed my information, then took a seat in the chair. The entire time we were waiting for them to call me to the back, I sat in silence with my thoughts praying to whichever God would hear me that, that urine test lied. I was almost in tears from the thoughts swirling around in my mind when the nurse finally decided to call my name. I shot up from my seat and practically ran to the lab room.

Five minutes later, I entered back into the waiting room, my nerves no less calm than when I was first waiting. All that kept going through my mind with school, Lincoln’s temper, a mafia war. How could anyone in their right mind bring a child, an innocent child into this world? How were our parents okay with that? How was Ivanna okay with doing it? As images and scenarios danced in my head, I felt a panic attack boiling in my stomach.

As we go back into the elevator, I was grateful that Ivanna didn’t ask me any questions, and she just stayed silent. I knew I wouldn’t last for long, though, because Ivanna was the type of woman who didn’t accept secrets being kept from her. That’s why she knew where her husband was and why I didn’t. I somehow have lost touch with who I am and what I would and would not accept from Lincoln. I mean, he’s my husband, I should know where the fuck he’s going and if he plans to get blow up. Right?


The sight of the blacked-out Range Rover finally pulled me into reality. Strangely, Lincoln’s cars always made me feel safe, even though it was far from the truth, considering how many times they were involved in my life being threatened.

“Babe, are you gonna talk to me know?” Ivanna asked, pulling a sandwich out of her bag.

“Really, V?” I asked in disgust as I watched her wipe a glob of mustard off her shirt with her finger before licking it.

“Oh, don’t you give me that ‘high and mighty’ look, missy! You try being pregnant with triplet!” She growled before taking another bite.

“I’ll let you know if that’s the case in a couple of months,” I snickered back before I looked down and started playing with my hands again.

“A couple months?” Ivanna sat in silence for a couple of moments before her eyes practically bulged out of her face.

“NO! Your-” She began to say before I cut her off.

“Pregnant?” I whispered, playing with my hands once again.

“NO!” She gasped, taking another bite of her sandwich.

“Like pregnant, pregnant? Like, there’s a mini Lincoln growing in you, pregnant?” she began to ramble, with her mouth full.

“As far as I am aware, there is only one type of pregnant, and it always leads to a child,” I rolled my eyes as I started the car.

“How!” She yelled, taking another bite.

“Really, V? You have a daughter, and you’re pregnant! Are you really asking me this right now?!” I found myself getting irritated. Ivanna seemed like she was going to explode with joy while I, on the other hand, just wanted to ground to suck me in and never spit me out.

“I mean, I thought you were on birth control!” all she could do was look at me.

“I am- I mean, I was. It lapsed while I was staying with you and Milosh, and I forgot to schedule, and it just- we weren’t- I wasn’t-” I was having a hard time spitting the words out, so I just ended up crying.

“Oh, honey! It’s gonna be okay! You’re gonna be fine, and I know you’re gonna love this baby, and I know Lincoln is gonna love you for giving him this,” She whispered as she gave me a side hug the best she could.

“Love me! Lincoln’s gonna kill me!” I cried through rolling eyes.

“No, he won’t! Milosh tells me all the time how Lincoln talks about being a dad!” She smiled.

“Lincoln talks to Milosh about being a dad? What? When?” I asked, trying to dry my tears that kept coming.

“Milosh says it every time they have ‘Bro Night’ and whenever Lincoln sees me,” Ivanna started to giggle.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying to stop crying, but I’m most likely pregnant and can’t!” I laughed through teary eyes.

“Girl, who are you telling?! Let’s go get some food, and we can talk about this more,” She suggested, rubbing my back.

“Food, you just devoured a sandwich!” Ivanna looked at me with a death glare.

“TRIPLETS! TRI-P-LETS!” She screamed, waving a finger in the air.

After a couple more minutes of joking and after Ivanna awkwardly rested her hand on my non-existent, maybe existent bump, I finally felt good enough to drive.

“So, what are you in the mood for, mama?” Ivanna asked, pulling a chocolate bar from her purse.

“I want Sushi! Sushi makes everything better!” I really wanted a California roll, two Crunchy Dragon Rolls, and some shrimp at the moment.

“We are both pregnant; Sushi is bad for the babies,” She informed.

“Oh, god! I haven’t even been pregnant for a whole day, and I am already failing at being a mom!” The waterworks started to come again.

“NO! No, you aren’t! You just didn’t know! That is why you got me! Let’s go to La Paris, and I’ll order you the best food you will ever eat!” Ivanna dug in her purse and pulled out a tissue and another candy bar for me.

“You’re lucky I love you, I don’t even sure my candy with Milosh!” At the moment, I was so grateful to have Ivanna in my life.

“I love you too!” I sobbed back, wiping my tears with the tissue.


We arrived at La Paris; we order enough food to feed a small army. There were dishes filled with chicken, duck, steak, and croissants, and we even ordered an array of sides and desserts. I was thankful that I didn’t feel judged, though, because, like Ivanna and I, the waitress was also pregnant.

“So, how do you think you will tell Lincoln?” Ivanna finally asked.

“I don’t know,” I answered, licking butter off the knife I just buttered my hot croissant with.

“What about if you tell him at the reveal party. We can like to have a box that he opens, and it will say ‘thanks for being a sperm donor’ with balloons and shit!” Ivanna suggested, stuffing a piece of steak covered with cake in her mouth as I heavily judged her.

“Don’t look at me like that! It is sweet and savory! It’s good!“She tried to plead her case.

“I like the idea of telling him at the reveal if that is okay with you, but maybe more subtly.” I laughed as I continued to see the food combinations she was coming up with.

“Of course, it is fine!” She giggled.


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