Chapter 31 - Sure I do
You know, the real stuff ;)
"You can touch me."
Beau was so close, his hands were hovering over my hips like he couldn't decide if he should grab me or run in the other direction.
"You don't know what you're saying."
He closed his eyes and ran the bridge of his nose across mine. I couldn't look away from him. Everything he did was too natural, it was mesmerizing.
His fingers sank into my hips as he yanked me toward him.
I tried to keep a neutral expression but I wasn't sure that I succeeded.
"Sure I do."
He pressed his erection to my stomach and I let my eyes lids fall closed. The memory of how it felt against my body flooded my mind and I wanted to do it again.
Actually, I wanted more than that.
I opened my eyes to find him staring back at me.
"I can't do that, River."
"You can. I want you to."
I tugged him down by his neck and pressed my lips to his. He didn't hesitate to give in to the kiss, he pushed his tongue into my mouth and a satisfied noise crept up his throat.
He encased his arms around my back and lifted my feet off of the floor, I immediately wrapped my legs around him and locked my ankles behind his back. I knew it was nothing for him to carry me around but it still did something to me.
Everything he did, did something to me.
He kissed me as he walked down the hallway and I heard his foot connect with my door, kicking it open the rest of the way. He stopped moving when his legs hit my bed. He laid me down on my back and pinned my body to the bed with his own. I could feel the warm wetness in my underwear already and as if he could read my mind he ran his finger down the seam of my jeans.
I panted against his mouth.
"I need to touch you."
Oh, God. He was really going to do it.
I reached down to unbutton my pants but he stopped me, his fingers worked fast to get the zipper down and he peeled my pants from my body.
He hummed when he saw what I was wearing. I don't exactly own sexy lingerie but I did make sure to wear the one pair of underwear that had lace around the hem.
Just in case.
Beau leaned back down and took my mouth in his. His kiss held something back. And I knew once he let go of whatever he was holding onto, he would make me his. His fingertips danced along my rib cage and I grabbed my sweater, tugging it over my head. Beau had already seen me completely naked in the shower but somehow, lying here underneath his big body in only my underwear, I felt more exposed than ever.
He buried his face in my neck and took a deep breath before he sunk his teeth into my skin. I squealed and he pulled back.
He rubbed his fingertip over the spot he bit but I couldn't get him back there quick enough.
"No, do it again."
Beau stared at me, his eyes wider than I'd ever seen and I knew then that it was gone. Whatever was keeping him from doing what he wanted.
What we wanted.
Whatever it was, it had vanished.
He bit my neck again and I squirmed underneath him, trying to create some type of friction to alleviate the need that was growing between my legs.
He stood up beside the bed and before I knew what was happening his clothes were off and he was pulling a small foil packet from his wallet. He sat it on my nightstand but it felt more like a ticking bomb than a condom.
He slid his fingertips up my bare thigh and I shivered at his touch. I watched in awe as he bent his body over and pressed a kiss to my pubic bone. It didn't seem like too much, it didn't seem like he was trying too hard. It seemed just right and intimately sweet. How Beau had always felt to me. I brushed my fingers through his hair while he planted kisses all over my body.
His finger dipped into my underwear and I took a deep breath. I wasn't sure how it should feel, but I had a suspicion that he would somehow make it feel good.
He brought his mouth to mine at the same time his finger ran over my center. I jumped and he deepened the kiss instantly. Beau was barely moving his hand but it was enough to send me to another planet.
I moved my hips hoping he would do more because I needed him to. He pulled back and looked into my eyes as he slid one finger inside of me. I inhaled sharply at the intrusion and watched as his gaze morphed into something new. It was something I'd never seen from him before but I couldn't get enough.
He pumped in and out of me and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, that there was no way Beau could make me feel anything more amazing, he grabbed the cup of my bra with his teeth and yanked it down before pulling my nipple into his mouth. I felt like I exploded in his hands, every part of my body tingled and I wanted it to stay that way. My back arched on his own accord and Beau moaned into my skin just as his thumb grazed over me, sending far over the edge he brought me to.
I closed my eyes and made myself breathe in and out slowly.
How did it feel better than the first time?
How was that possible?
Beau was pressing wet kisses across my chest when I opened my eyes again.
He aligned his body with mine and reached for the condom. He held it in his hand while he looked at me, begging me with his eyes to push him off, to tell him to stop.
But I think some part of him knew that wasn't an option. We'd come too far to stop now.
"It's okay. I trust you."
I grabbed his face and brushed my nose with his breathing in his scent before he pulled away, propping himself up with one and hand sliding the condom down to his base with the other.
Once again, I was mesmerized by him. He tilted my head back up kissed my lips softly.
"It's going to hurt."
"Wrap your arms around me."
I did as he said and he situated himself near my entrance, never breaking eye contact.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to melt into the mattress or pull his body into mine. I managed a shaky breath and Beau inched his body in slowly.
He was right, it did hurt but the look in his eyes was like salve on a wound.
He pushed all the way in and rested his head on my forehead. Everything around us was still and quiet, I couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything except for him.
Beau moved his head into the crook of my neck and cursed while quickening his pace. I tightened my grip, digging my nails into his back, and could hardly believe when I felt the tingle stir deep in my stomach. He lifted back up so that our faces were level again. His cheeks were flush and I wanted to reach up and rub my fingers across the stubble there.
But I didn't get the chance, Beau was taking me higher and higher with each thrust, and just as I was splintering apart underneath him I felt him twitch inside of me, his eyes glazed over and I decided right then that was my favorite look from him.
He was satiated, satisfied. And it was because of me. All because he made love to me.
I realized then that I never knew there could be a difference between having sex and making love.
But there was.
Beau had made sure of it.