Chapter 38 - It was you
Good morning little creeper,
Be curled up in front of your laptop at 9 pm sharp tonight.
I can't wait to see you.
I had refreshed the browser at least twenty times since I first read the email this morning because I could hardly believe he had sent it. We worked strictly through snail mail and as romantic as I had made that out to be on my head, there was nothing quite like seeing his words on a computer screen.
They were instant.
Email didn't give Beau time to second guess himself like writing a letter did. Every time I wrote to him, I gave him an overly detailed breakdown of my day because I knew that's what he wanted to read about. And as much as I wanted the same from him I knew he would never tell me exactly what happened there. And not just because he wasn't allowed to, but because he hated the thought of me knowing what he was dealing with there.
Since he couldn't tell me those details he just didn't tell me much at all and it was really starting to drive me insane.
I closed the laptop and slid off of my bed.
I had thirty minutes before he would call and I wanted to fix my hair. Beau had seen me when I just rolled out of bed every morning for months so why I wanted to fix anything about my appearance, I wasn't quite sure.
I tiptoed to my bathroom, I didn't want Jackson to wake up under any circumstances. My brother meant well, but he had no earthly idea what was really going on. He thought I was just a kid with a crush on his friend and that Beau was taking advantage of that.
Jackson might have been older than me and he might have seen more and been exposed to more than I could dream of but I had one experience over him.
Jackson had never been in love.
That wasn't me just making assumptions, it came from his own mouth. He wanted to settle down more than anyone else that I knew but he said that he had just never met the right girl.
But I had my own theory, he had a hard time being serious. He actually only took two things in life seriously, his job and of course, me.
I ran my brush through my long hair. I didn't blow dry it when I got out of the shower because I knew that Beau liked it wavy. It drove me nuts that it wasn't straight yet it wasn't curly either, it was some weird in-between and I rarely wore it this way. But if he liked it, I was willing to make an exception.
I curled my eyelashes and put on a coat of clear lip gloss before climbing back in my bed and slipping under my covers again.
I closed my eyes for a second before my laptop started making noises.
How did I fall asleep?
I checked the time, almost fifteen minutes had passed since I left the bathroom.
I clicked the button and waited for the call to connect. After a few seconds, Beau's face popped up on the screen.
God, he was beautiful.
"Were you sleeping?"
Beau whispered. He was wearing a white crew-neck t-shirt, a black hat that was turned around backward and I wasn't sure that I had ever seen anything hotter.
I clenched my thighs and took a deep breath before answering him.
"Yeah, I guess I was more tired than I thought."
I cleared my throat. The last thing I was right now was tired.
"Why don't you go to sleep? We can try again tom-."
"No. No, I'm awake."
Among other things.
I felt the heat creep up my neck and I silently cursed my hormones. Beau was right in front of me but not in any capacity to touch me like I really wanted him to.
And God, did I want him to.
He scolded and the way he said my name did nothing to help the way I was feeling. It made it so much worse.
"Don't make me say it."
I whispered while avoiding making eye contact with him.
"Did something happen? Just tell me, I'm already losing my mind, River."
He had shifted his weight and he was leaning so close to the computer the only thing I could see on my screen was his face.
"No, nothing happened. I just. . . I miss you."
"And that's it?"
I bit my lip and shook my head.
"I uh- I miss you, miss you."
Beau stared at me through his screen carefully before he responded. I knew the second his eyes changed that he realized what I was trying to tell him.
"Turn your light off and get your headphones."
I didn't even think twice. I threw my blanket off and grabbed my headphones before switching my light off and getting back in bed.
I plugged my headphones into the computer and waited for him to tell me what to do next.
When I looked back at the screen, the background was different, as if he had turned the computer around. I knew he was alone because he wouldn't have suggested to call me otherwise, but he wasn't one to chance things. Beau's face came back on the screen and I could hear him as he moved his chair. He sat down and put a pair of headphones over his head.
I was already breathless and nothing had even happened yet.
"Get under your covers and lay flat on your back."
I moved my computer over and did what he said.
I said once I was situated.
"Have you ever touched yourself River?"
I closed my eyes and let his tone wash over me.
He asked again.
"And what did you think about while you did it?"
He knew exactly what I thought of.
"You know it was you."
As if it could have ever been anyone else.
"Do you want to touch yourself now?"
I didn't bother waiting to answer. What was the point?
I slid my hand into my underwear and pretended that it was his hand and not my own.
Beau groaned so quietly that I barely heard it but it lit a fire inside of me.
I slowed my movements a little but it didn't matter, I was already so close to the edge. Just hearing his voice and knowing that he was watching me, did something to me.
My orgasm hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to bite my lip to keep from making too much noise. I could hear that his breathing was just as heavy as mine was and I knew that he was right there with me.
Neither of us spoke, we just enjoyed each other in the silence.
"You can sleep now."
He said after a few minutes.
I closed my eyes even though I wasn't tired. But I knew that Beau would stay on the call and keep his eyes on me until I eventually fell asleep.
And maybe that should've bothered me, I wasn't sure.
But that was the way that Beau loved. He didn't write thousands of words or pour his feelings out at my feet.
He paid attention, he listened to me, and he made every mile that was between us worth it.