Chapter 40 - For the record
"Want some pizza?"
I had no idea what I was saying. He was right in front of me and he was perfect. Why was I asking him something so stupid?
Beau shook his head slowly.
My freaking mouth.
He shook his head again.
"What do you want then?"
I knew the second the question left my lips that I was opening up a door.
He slid one hand behind my neck and pulled my face closer to his.
"I want to kiss you."
He whispered before pressing his lips to mine.
Oh, God. This was heaven. I'd almost forgotten how soft his lips were. Should a guy's lips even be this soft? I wasn't sure.
"You're not kissing me back. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, of course, I'm just. . . I'm nervous I guess."
"Why would you be nervous?"
He pulled back to study my face.
"I don't know, I guess I thought I'd have more time to prepare. Or brush my teeth."
I shrugged, wishing I was better at making jokes.
"I'm not an exam River, and for the record, I like you just like this."
He might not have thought so, but he sure felt like an exam. The one that counts for a big chunk of your grade. In his case, it was a big chunk of my heart. More likely the entire thing.
Beau stood up, lifting my body with his movement, and positioned me so I was straddling his lap.
Oh boy, we had been here before.
"I don't want you to feel nervous with me."
Both of his hands were flat on my butt cheeks and he expected me to be calm?
I took a deep breath and he smiled.
"I missed you. You know that?"
He traced my bottom lip with his fingertip and I nodded.
"I missed you too."
I whispered as I closed the small space between our lips.
Beau didn't waste time, he pushed through with his tongue and groaned into my mouth. One hand traveled up and my body and up the base of my neck until his fingers were tangled in my hair. He tugged at the strands and I let my head tilt backward, giving him access to my neck. I hadn't even realized that I was grinding on him until a moan escaped my lips without permission. I stopped moving and Beau's hand gripped my hip, pushing and pulling. He didn't want me to stop and if I was being honest, I didn't want to stop either.
I'd been dreaming of this for months, literally. I would wake up panting like a maniac after dreaming about all the things I wanted him to do to me.
And now, he was here.
I let all of my body weight all onto him and he bit my neck.
Why did it feel so good?
Beau stood up again, this time setting me on my feet. He pulled my t-shirt over my head and fell to his knees. He tugged my sweatpants down and I stepped out of them, using his shoulders to balance myself. He sat back on his feet and slowly allowed his eyes to wander my body.
He whispered before leaning forward and pressing his lips just below my belly button. His stubble tickled my skin and I laughed. Beau slowly inched down as he slid his fingers underneath the elastic of my underwear.
"Is this okay?"
He asked before pulling them down. I nodded and he slowly dragged them down my legs. Beau pressed his mouth back to the skin of my stomach and I let my fingers glide through his hair. It was shorter than usual but it still felt like silk in my hands.
He rested his forehead against my stomach and I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers sink deeper into the flesh of my hips. He was trying to go slow, to control himself because he thought I was still nervous. But that wasn't the case at all.
"I'm okay Beau, don't hold back."
He lifted his head and looked at me, probably to see if he could find any doubt there. But he wouldn't, there wasn't any.
"Lay down, baby."
My insides warmed at his tone and I did what he said. Once I was flat on my back Beau climbed on top of me and slid his hands behind my upper back, unclasping my bra then throwing it to the ground. He sat back and put his hands on my knees, pushing them apart and moving his body between them. He kissed my inner thighs and I tried not to squirm. I felt his smile against my skin and I almost giggled until he pressed his mouth to my center. He kissed me there slowly, taking his time until he had covered every inch then he ran his tongue across the most sensitive part, causing my muscles in my abdomen to jerk. He put the palm of his hand on my stomach and repeated the motion with his tongue.
It was weird how my body reacted. My muscles moved without me even realizing it and I had the urge to wrap my legs around his head. So I did. Beau groaned against my body and the vibration of his deep voice against my skin was too much. I let it control me and my body quivered under him but he didn't stop. I started to tug at his shoulders and he kissed my skin one last time before pressing his lips to mine. I could feel his erection poking my stomach and I shifted my body so that it would be better aligned with his.
"I have to get a condom."
He said against my cheek, I hadn't realized the grip I had around his biceps.
"I don't care."
I didn't. I wanted to feel all of him.
He groaned. I wanted him to give in.
"Well, I don't."
I'd never considered doing anything like this without one because that would be insane. But now. . .
"I'll care for you then."
Of course, he would. He pressed his lips to my forehead the jumped off of my bed. He took his clothes off and I watched carefully. I really was a creeper. He slid the condom over himself and positioned himself back on top of me.
He asked and I nodded. I was as ready as I could have possibly been.
I sucked in a breath as he eased his way in. It was just as painful as the first time but the initial pain didn't last as long. Beau moved in and out of me slowly and I knew it was driving him nuts. I picked my head up to reach his lips and the more he kissed me, the more he lost control. It was as if it fell off of him in waves, it was another memorizing quality to add to the growing list.
Just as he lost control, mine slipped away as well and I let myself feel.
I felt the pain and pleasure at the same time, I let them both mix together and weave through my body. Every feeling Beau gave me stuck with me. Everything he had done burrowed under my skin and there was no getting rid of it or no sense in comparing anything else to it.
And I knew this was no different, I would always belong to him. And nothing had ever felt better.