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TWO SIDES TO THIS COIN

EMERY, TWO SIDES TO THIS COIN

I don’t understand what changes, but I know that something is different. It is like there are two of them living inside his body – maybe he has multiple personalities? Holy shit. Does he even know? Awesome. This just became so much more complicated. I can’t abandon him – what if those other men aren’t his friends? Oh God! They dragged him out of here! Physically dragged him! He must be a patient in the psychiatric ward or something… oh this poor man!

Nathaniel’s body language changes – even his physical form seems to modify slightly, when his eyes are black. He seems… bigger. More imposing. Threatening. I don’t feel frightened though – instead, he makes me want to stop running. No… such stupid thoughts… His breathing gets faster, and his gaze is so intense – I can feel him seeing beyond my physical form into parts of me I’ve never shared with anyone. It makes no sense, and I can’t explain it.

How can I fucking explain it when I don’t understand it myself?

But when he looks at me, I feel exposed. Completely naked and vulnerable before him – not physically but… spiritually? Emotionally? I don’t understand these feelings – they’re ridiculous, senseless and baseless. We’ve spoken barely ten words to one another on a handful of occasions yet I’m ready to declare him my… what?

Soulmate.

Yeah. Sure. Because that’s a real thing. But I don’t know what else ‘this’ is! It is as if I can’t get him physically close enough, and the thought of losing his touch sickens me. Fucking sickens me. Head injury. Has to be. Maybe I’m in a coma and my mind is having a great time misfiring all over the goddamn place? Or maybe he isn’t the one in the psych ward – I am. Well, if this is insanity for me – turns out it is fairly fucking awesome.

“Emery…” oh God… his voice causes goosebumps all over my body. The only part of me he is touching is my cheek, yet my nipples are hard, and my vagina is dripping wet in anticipation of his cock. He growls again, one hand around my waist the other in my hair at the back of my head. For a brief moment his lips hover over mine, as if asking me for permission.

“Nathaniel,” I moan, begging him to kiss me. I don’t know what is wrong with me because this is not how I usually behave. But I don’t care. Oh God, right now, I really don’t fucking care. He doesn’t hesitate a moment longer and his lips crush mine in a hard kiss. His tongue impatiently demands entry, and when I open my lips his growl turns into a groan. The hand on my waist drops to my ass and he pushes me against him. I can feel his erection, and when I start thinking about tasting him, I’m suddenly unable to focus on anything else.

I reach down between us and start fumbling with his belt. As soon as I make enough room, I reach into his pants. With a loud groan, Nathaniel breaks our kiss and steps away from me. Noooo! I’m panting with want, and the throbbing between my legs is making me dizzy. No way he doesn’t want me – I can see the evidence of that with my own two eyes. Maybe he isn’t into one-night stands? I know some men aren’t – I have yet to meet one, but I’m told they exist. Just like unicorns and Santa Claus. I’m healed enough to be released from the hospital, with minor restrictions – so that shouldn’t be a concern. What the hell is going on!

“Not here, love. You deserve so much better.” His voice is hoarse, and it is obvious he is fighting his urge to keep going. He’s right though, not here. I nod jerkily in agreement, struggling to get my body under control. I wonder if it is this hard for men? He holds out a hand to me. “Will you come with me, love?” I don’t think twice and put my hand in his. As we walk, he has my tiny bag of possessions in his other hand. I wonder where the rest of my stuff is? Probably still in the car at the bottom of that hill, is my guess. I really hope the car didn’t burn – I’m not worried about my few pieces of clothing, but I need my money. God willing it is still there.

No one stops us to ask about the bill, and not having any way to pay it anyways, I quietly follow Nathaniel out. I feel horrible about skipping, and silently vow one day to send a cheque when I can afford to. I’m not a freeloader, I’m just currently having a shit time. A really stinky, shitty time. Ugh! Of course, if I hadn’t been on the run, I wouldn’t have crashed, and ended up in this hospital where I met Nathaniel… Nathaniel…

A stranger in a strange land.

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