I glance one more time at the silver watch wrapped around my wrist, thirty more minutes until my work here is done. Now, I'm not saying that because I hate my job or anything. On the contrary, I actually love working with my patients. Helping someone get back to being themselves and achieving a healthy mental lifestyle is what I live for and nothing brings me more joy than seeing my patients smile with the glim of hope in their eyes. However, I just don't fancy the noise that comes with working in New York. I get so frustrated whenever I enter the loud city. The Big Apple isn't the most serene place on the damn planet.
The taxis, the blinding lights, the never ending sirens echoing back and forth makes my temperature rise up a few degrees. I sometimes even wonder to myself why I chose to come to New York out of so many cities. I could've chosen to live anywhere but this noisy place. But, I know why I'm here, I owe it to them. At times I just wish that I could go back in time and change everything, especially the man I was back then. He ruined the one perfect life he could've ever asked for, and all because of what? A thrill. The thrill to become to become a hero in white.
It's funny, how the love for your career can blind you from the most important things in life. It's even funnier, how you keep telling yourself that you're doing it for your family, but what's hilarious is the guilt that comes haunting you after you have gotten what you've been looking for and loosing what has always been there, and realization mocks you because it was everything that really ever mattered to you and it has been right in front of you the whole time.
My eyes dart onto the wooden frame that engulfed a beautiful photograph. The occupants of the frozen memory smiled lovingly to the camera. I remember the day the picture was taken, I can still feel the way the cool breeze bounced against my skin and the gentleness of the sun's rays on my body. The deep blue sea in the background blends in so perfectly with the with the happiness radiating from the picture. Her small hand intertwined in mine and his small body clutching and cradling comfortably on my back. Long brown hair sprawled around her shoulders as captivating blue-green eyes poured into my own,it was everything I ever wanted. Happiness bubbles through me and fulfillment followed along naturally.
But, like the lonely fire of a candle in the midst of darkness, it only took a single breathe to make it vanish.
It is almost hard to believe that a wonderful summer in Malibu with my family wasn't the beginning to the stability we both promised to xxx. We had a truce. We both decided to make it work for Ethan. But,I guess things don't work out when promises are broken.
That year Christmas lost its spark.
“Excuse me Doctor Carter?” A high pitched voice interrupts my wandering thoughts and I am almost glad that it did. My mind always strays to the one place it's not supposed to go to. Yet, I guess it always finds a way to penetrate those limited dark corners. Guilt has its way with people.
I lift my gaze to find the owner of a overpowdered face smiling broadly at me, her head peeking into my office.
I absently nod as some sort of affirmation for her presence but my insides cringe at the mere sight. I don't mean to sound like a jaded woman hater, but woman who throw themselves at men remain unappreciated by me. With a spiritless sigh, I wait for her final act of the day as I straighten my posture in my seat and turn the photograph away from view.
Nurse Marla enters my office and closes the door behind her,her arms battered with a stake of files which she offloads on my desk. Her painted red lips stretch with another wide smile, and judging by it's widening proportions, it's a smug one. She's clearly pleased with the work I purposely assigned her to do.
“So I take it that you're done with the patient files?”I ask her while pulling the pile towards me. Already knowing the answer to my question.
"I gather that you also went through Gaines file, the psychogenic hypercalcaemic case?"
"Yep. And just in the nick of time." She replies with bright eyes.
"Oh, Dr Carter, you know how efficient I am when given a task to complete. And now that we're done we can have some free time together." I resist the urge to curse as I watch her brown eyes slowly ignite with seduction. . Honestly, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I deliberately gave the task of checking patient file so that I could get a little breathing space.
Marla has been working in my department for the last seven months, but judging from the unprofessional way she behaves and the repelling tight uniform she walks around in, there's no hiding that she has interest in me. I guess she thinks I'll take the invitation, but I'm not one for torrid interludes, especially not this one.
"You can recheck them later if you want to."
I give her a knowing smile and work my way through one of the files. It seems like most of my patients are recovering pretty well including the young Peter Gaines who I'll finally be discharging in a few days. Of all the prediabetes cases, his case was one of the difficult I've had to work on. I smile at his progress and nod more as I flicker my index finger through the files. However, one file catches my attention, the one of the young girl wheeled in earlier today by the paramedics. Cuts on her arms and legs. I'd like to think that this was just an act of self-harm gone wrong, but I can read between the lines, and these cuts are too deep to be relief from emotional pain. Penelope Cleveland wanted to end her life today. From the discussion I had with her mother earlier, I could tell why her little hurt mind thought ending her life would be better than another minute of living the life she was living. But her mother seems to love her and care for her like nothing I've ever seen. By what I know of the woman, she would literally die for her daughter if she had to. I am so intrigued by how much she cares for her child. I've always thought that New York women were all about looking pretty and enjoying the thrill of the city. But looking at her waitress uniform and how messy her blonde her was, I could see how different she is. She probably just left her work the moment she heard her daughter was hurt. The determination in her green eyes told me she'll do anything to keep her daughter safe.
Kimberly Jacobson is it?
I scan through the file and find her name printed there in black and white. So strong and bold. For a split second I tried to compare her with Marla in front of me and I almost laugh at the comparison because it's simply not there.
I almost forgot that I had company with me; I catch a glimpse of sad brown eyes looking down at me. I internally curse myself for living her hanging like that.
“I'm so sorry Marla; I got a little lost back there."I apologies. "Everything is good, thank you Marla." I say dismissing her.
She almost squeals but holds her little victory to herself.
“You're welcome Doctor Carter, it was nothing really." In another life, I probably could've given this woman a chance, but that can only happened if try-hards were my type.
“So,"she begins while bending her upper body on my desk and pressing her huge busk on it making the remains of her breasts almost spill out of the tight piece of cloth wrapped around her body.
I shift uncomfortably in my chair.
“Will you drive me home today? My car broke down during lunch and I know you wouldn't leave a lady stranded alone on the road." She says seductively, I think?
"I'm sure Tanya can drive you. I still have work to do." I lie.
"Oh come on Dr Carter," her red manicured fingers trailed the edge of my desk as she walks to where I sat.
"You should know that you can't get rid of me that easily. Plus, I can be really persuasive."
At this point I'm trying every method in my head to dismiss her poor behavior without dragging her out of my office. I have respect for women and I wouldn't want to humiliate a woman by any means, but the way this one is shamelessly displaying her goods in front of me and literally trying to seduce me, I could easily drag her out by the leg.
But before I could tell her where her boundaries stood, a short nurse bursts into my office panting.
"Dr Carter there's a commotion in room 14, the room with your patient Penelope Cleveland."
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