My Valerie

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“Amelie!” He yelled as he shook her lifeless body but she didn’t reply. Then rain was pouring heavily and he knew he had to let her go. “AMELIE!” He yelled again. Hoping that maybe she’d open those eyes and smile at him, at least one last time. “Amelie.”

“AMELIE PLEASE,” he said as he broke into a round of ugly sobs. A stream was running down his face as he held his mate’s cold, lifeless body in his arms.

“Elijah, she’s gone.” One of the men behind him said but he just shook his head. His Amelie couldn’t be gone. She couldn’t leave him, she couldn’t leave his son. She couldn’t leave them.

Someone held both his arms and tried pulling him away but he curled his body around hers. He couldn’t walk away and leave her. It should have been him, not her. “Elijah we need to bury her.” A man whispered as he shut his eyes and felt the saltiness of his tears. She wasn’t coming back.

The moment I kept calling Valerie’s name took me to that dark place. I kept repeating and yelling her name but she was just frozen against the tree. One second late and that arrow would have taken her life.

I never visited those memories. I hated it. I hated the fact that both my parents left me. That was the story my father told me of the moment my mom died and I always felt like I was there, he told me everything to the point where I could picture it in front of me. I was only nine at the time but I understood that she was never coming back and no one could ever take her place.

My mom was my everything. She gave me the best childhood anyone could as for. She was always there for me. She would go through the toughest of times just for me. We laughed together and played together all the time. She was my happiness.

Then one day. She was gone.

Both my parents were warriors. They were away very often, which is why I saw Laurie as my second mother. Whenever my parents were away, Laurie would come to look after me.

My mother’s love was bliss, it was my peace. After she was gone my father tried his best to look after me. He tried to be there for me while he dealt with his own loss. Losing a mate wasn’t easy but he had to do it for me and I respected him for that.

He tried to make it work but it was never the same without her. She was the one that completed our family. A year after losing my mom in an attack. I lost my father. I was only ten and they were both gone. I was left with no one, no family, nothing.

He suffered a huge amount of negative emotional load and it was associated with the feelings of anxiety, depression, and anger which accompanied grief. It got too much for him and he stopped caring about himself. He quit. Sadness killed him.

Losing them was the most difficult experience I’ve gone through. It altered me permanently. It was a wholly transformative event. I was never the same. Being happy was a sport. I was in constant distress and I was only a kid so it messed me up forever.

I was thrown from one foster home to another for being uncooperative. I had no support whatsoever so I learned to cope with it myself. Be cold. Be careless. Be ruthless. I decided to train on becoming a warrior at just fifteen since it didn’t require anything but strength, it didn’t require a heart. Which is what got me to my high position today.

I didn’t know how to care about people. Whoever you care about will leave you and I didn’t want to go through any of that again. Then Valerie came along.

The main reason I didn’t want a mate was because I couldn’t go through what my father went through. I watched it all happen to my father. He was happy and content and then one day he was never the same. Aside from that, my powerful position in the pack came next. A mate would be a weakness for me. To hurt me, you’d have to hurt my mate. I knew Lennon targeted her because she was mine.

Valerie is very honest, one can easily see that just by looking into her eyes. But I could never tell what’s going on in her mind.

Like what I went through as a kid wasn’t enough. The moon Goddess paired me with a girl who just loved getting herself in trouble. Valerie always put others first, which is why she was after trouble but I knew that I was in too deep to let her go, which is why I didn’t and I couldn’t. I already cared for her and deeply. It was a strange emotion, something I’ve never felt towards anyone in a while. Despite her crazy mouth and her constant arguing, I was protective of her and I didn't want to lose her because she was the only one that could break me. But she couldn’t accept that and thought I was a madman. Her words, not mine.

I was never one to express myself. I didn’t know how and she was the victim of it.

After what happened today I was angry. I didn’t want to talk to her for being so careless and for putting both me and her in that position.

Valerie looked distant when I pushed her into the house and left with Sienna. Hurt too. But I didn’t feel like explaining myself to her and she didn’t need an explanation from me, not after what she did.

Since Lennon was probably of no use. I took Sienna instead to question her. I needed answers and I knew she’d have some. Then she’ll be the Alphas baggage and not mine.

“Get in,” I said without sparing Sienna a glance. She was the main reason the whole thing happened.

“Where are we going?” She asked and I stayed silent as we both got in the car and I began driving.

“I knew you liked me better. I mean you’re way out of her league,” she said with a laugh and I held back from kicking her out. I don’t know how anyone could stand Sienna. She was crazy.

“Stop talking about Valerie,” I mumbled as I gripped the steering wheel tighter and saw my knuckles turn white. First I had to control my anger towards Valerie and then fucking Sienna.

As soon as I got to the abandoned building I got out and she followed suit with no questions asked. It’s exactly why she was perfect for giving me information, she was a lost cause. “Let’s play a game shall we?”

“What are we playing?” she asked and I just continued walking until we were inside a dark room.

“Sit,” I ordered and she did just that. “So. I’ll ask you a few questions, and you’ll give me the answers,” I said as I walked towards where she was sitting and stood tall in front of her.

“Oh so like a get to know me game?” She said and I ignored her. I wanted to make it fast, the less time I spent with her, the better.

“First. Why did you lie to your sister about Valerie?” I asked and she gulped.

“If that’s what this is about. I’m leaving,” she said and got up but I stopped her.

“I asked you a question.”

“Because she’s not the one for you. I am,” she blurted out and I held back from rolling my eyes. Certified crazy woman.

“You don’t decide who’s for me.” I pushed her back so she was sitting again.

“Then why did you sleep with me?”

“I never slept with you,” I said. That was true. I almost slept with her but I didn’t. I was trying to forget about Valerie and our kiss when I went to the office and Sienna appeared. Without thinking twice I dragged her to my office and well, I almost fucked her which was going to be the biggest mistake of my life had it happened.

I heard Valerie walk into her office and that’s when I snapped out of whatever trance I was in. Ever since I met Valerie I couldn’t be with anyone else. It felt wrong. Very wrong. Sienna was the first. My hands on her body and my lips on hers gave me the worst shivers and gut feeling in my life. Besides, I never slept with women, I fucked them and left.

“How long have you known about Lennon being mates with a rogue? You know that withholding that information puts you in the same place as them. You won’t have a place in this pack.” I said and began circling her.

“I knew when I saw them together a year ago,” she mumbled.

“Who is the witch?” I moved on to the next question.

“Witch?” She asked as if she didn’t know. But her heart told me she knew exactly what I was talking about.

“You know exactly who I am talking about. Who is the witch helping the traitors?”

“Why would I tell you,” she spat out. That was a new side of her, the clingy persona she put on in front of me was long gone.

“Because I can spare your life,” I said coldly and stood in front of her with my arms crossed and watched her think. I would never do that, but she didn’t have to know.

“Zelda. She’s Lucien’s wife. Married her after his mate was killed.”

“Good. And who’s Lucien to you?”

“He’s in charge of everything, like a rogue Alpha. I swear I’m not involved, I just know from Grace,” she blurted out like she was afraid of death. I could see her balling up her hands to try and hide the fact that she was sweating but I saw it.

“Then why were you so persistent about getting a job where I work? You kept coming back after every rejection.”

“It has nothing to do with them,” she said and I knew she wasn’t lying. She was after me because she’s crazy.

“What is their next plan?”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled and looked at her feet. I growled and pulled her up, holding both of her wrists in one crushing hold. She winced and looked straight into my eyes and I saw her lips slightly tremble.

“You killed Grace. How would I know?” She said through gritted teeth and I tightened my hold on her wrists.

“I know that you know. Fucking speak,” I growled and saw her flinch. That was probably a side of me she has never seen and never thought existed. But I had to do what I could to get information out of her and above that, I couldn’t tolerate traitors.

“Lennon said something about leaving soon to start their plans at the base. They want to strike the Blue moon pack first and then ours. He said something about the palace but I swear I don’t know anything else. This is all I promise,” she rambled and looked everywhere but at me. The base. Sienna had useful information after all.

I let go of her wrists and pushed her back to the chair before leaving her there. They would find her if I told them to. I just had to inform the Alpha about her and she’d be in a cell in no time. I wanted to kill her to be able to feel some form of satisfaction but that would get me in trouble so I just left here there.

I walked into the house and my eyes widened. Valerie was sitting on the kitchen island wearing the hoodie I gave her with a cup of water in her hand resting on her thigh as she stared at me. All my plans in staying mad at her and giving her the silent treatment were out of the window by then.

“Did you sleep with her again?” she asked with a frown.

“What?” I asked and walked closer to her. That’s when I realized her red eyes.

“You know, Sienna.” She bit her lip and looked away. I was confused. She was acting very different from her usual self.

“Valerie. Allie. No, I never slept with her,” I said and took the cup from her hands to place it on the counter. I lifted my hands up and hesitantly tried to cup her face but she moved back.

“Then why did you leave me to go with her?”

“I took her to question her. I needed answers and she was the perfect person to do that. I didn’t sleep with her and I never slept with her,” I said and she just gave me a small smile before dropping her head on my chest making me stand still without moving a muscle. She was acting very weird.

“I want to leave. I’m tired of whatever this is,” she whispered.


“What do you mean you want to leave?” He asked and I pulled away to find him looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“You keep pushing me away and I’ve reached my breaking point. I want to know why you’re like this and what keeps triggering you. I want to know what you feel. I want you to tell me. I want to see you. It’s been months Adrien and I don’t know a thing, I just know that there is something that happened and that’s why you’re like this. I don’t think I deserve this, I don’t deserve being kept in the dark and yelled at constantly. You keep messing up my emotions and I don’t want to do it anymore.”

I was done. I was exhausted and tired of the constant reminder that he didn’t want me. He stared at me for a whole minute without saying anything and I just stared back waiting for him to say something.

“I'm sorry. It’s not that easy,” he whispered and placed his forehead on mine. If I wasn’t feeling horrible at that moment, it would have probably made me feel amazing.

“What’s not easy?” I asked and cupped his face without thinking.

“Why I’m like this. I don’t like talking about it, I don’t like going back there.” he paused. “I grew up with a fixed mindset that I didn’t want a mate. That made me think that I’ll just never have one and I never expected to find you. I was shocked because it’s something I never saw myself having. You came and I tried to convince myself that I didn’t want you. That I didn’t need you. But in reality, I fell for you and I can’t let you go now that I got you.”

I stared at him and dropped my hands from his face to my thighs. That was probably the most he’s let me in. He admitted that he fell for me. I didn’t know how to react, whether I should jump around or yell at him so I just stared at him like a fish with my mouth open.

“No one can destroy you but your own mindset.” I broke the silence and reached for his hands. He didn’t pull away but instead laced his fingers with mine and I’m sure my soul left my body. It felt amazing being that close to him. I was mad at him for leaving me earlier but his touch was what I needed right then. A mates touch was everything.

“You fell for me?” I asked and looked up at him. It was so sudden that I still didn’t believe what I heard.

“You heard me,” he said with a laugh and I smiled. That was probably the first time I’ve heard him laugh, even though it was just slightly.

“You’re still an asshole.”

“And you never learn not to call me that,” he whispered huskily in my ear, making me shudder. I pressed my legs together tightly when I felt weird tingles and pulled my hands away from his.

He looked at me and cupped my face before reaching his thumb to trace my lips. I parted my lips naturally, making him pull on my bottom lip slightly.

We stared at each other as if having a silent argument. I watched his pupils grow wider and felt the adrenaline rush, so much so that I’m pretty sure I forgot how to breathe.

He leaned in slowly and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest as the flutter in me intensified. Time stopped when his lips met mine. We had kissed before but I can tell you it was nothing like the moment we were having.

We’ve been building up to that for a long time and sweet lord… A fire literally ignited in me as his addictively hypnotizing scent invaded my space and his soft lips were against mine.

The warmth of his tongue conquered the depths of my mouth and I felt like I was in a dream. I feared that I was in a dream. His fingers as if having a mind of their own snuck under the hoodie I was wearing, his hoodie. His fingers skimmed over the skin on my stomach sending a rush of blood to every part of my body reminding me just how real it was.

A low growl came from the back of his throat as we both pulled away for air. I followed suit with a whimper and a moan that I had no control over, making the heat rise from my stomach to my chest before he slammed his lips back on mine hungrily.

He draped both his arms around my waist and I lifted my hands up to grip his head as if to keep him from escaping. I didn’t want it to end yet.

Sometime during our heated kiss, I had spread my legs open for him. He was standing caged between my legs and I didn’t feel like I was in my own body. Instead, I was lost in his. We were basically glued together, seeking union.

He pulled away and cupped my face as our chests were rising and falling rapidly because of our little heated session. I stared at his blue eyes trying not to get lost in them as I gave him a sheepish smile. “Wow.” Was all I could say through my deep breaths.

“Are you sure I’m the only man you’ve kissed?” He asked and I frowned before swatting his chest. Was that his way of complementing?

“I actually never told you that. You decided that,” I said and he shook his head with a smirk before wrapping my legs around him and hoisting me off the counter and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I can walk you know?” I asked and he stayed silent as he walked. He began walking up the stairs and I used my hands to push and create space between us just enough to look at him but I saw no emotion on his face. He was allowing me to go there?

“The forbidden chambers,” I mumbled when we reached upstairs and looked around as he placed me down and took my hands instead.

“No. My room,” he said and tugged my hand to pull me with him into a room but I stood rooted in my spot making him look back at me. I knew he didn’t want anyone up into his own space so I wasn’t sure if he was thinking straight when allowing me.

“Adrien are you sure?” I asked and he just huffed before pulling me harder. I guess that meant yes. He was letting me in slowly. Accepting me.

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