My Valerie

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T W E N T Y 4


“What do you mean he’s dead? Just like that? No one killed him?” I yelled on the phone as I massaged my temples. I was back at home for a few hours when one of our patrollers called about a rogue.

“They are all at the base, where did he come from?” I asked.

“I don’t know, they might be coming back,” he said making me sigh.

“Send someone to check him for a cause of death,” I said before hanging up.

Training warriors, rogues going crazy, and Valerie being in the hospital for three weeks was all too much to handle at once and I was slowly losing it. My temper was uncontrollable.

Before leaving to go to the hospital, I looked around the house wondering how I used to live there alone without Valerie because it felt really quiet and uncomfortable. I didn’t like it.

“Mr. Grey.” One of the nurses greeted and quickly scurried away as I walked by her. I was sure they all hated me or were scared of me because I kept lashing out at them by accident.

A small but sad smile landed on my face as I walked into Valerie’s room. I could see visible changes in her appearance and her paleness was slowly fading away. Her back should have been healed completely but since her wolf was gone the process was slow. I just wished that it would be gone because she’d beat herself up for it if she saw it.

I was sitting down when I heard the familiar little footsteps running towards the room. I looked up and saw Angelina standing by the door and as soon as she saw me she grinned and ran up to me.

“Hi, little one.” I smiled and placed her on my lap.

“Hi,” she said and stared at Valerie with her head pressed against my chest. Angelina was growing on me and we were best friends according to her. Whenever she came I forgot just how fucked up everything was.

“When will she wake up so we can play?” She asked with a sigh and slumped her shoulders. All we told her was that Valerie was extremely tired and she was sleeping like bears did in winter. I knew that once Valerie was awake she would scold me for letting Angelina think she was a bear which made me look forward to that day.

“When she’s had enough sleep she’ll wake up,” I said and patted her back. “Do you wanna sit with her?” I asked.

“I can?” She asked and looked at me with a big smile on her face as I nodded before slowly placing her on the side of the mattress.

“What do you want to tell her?” I asked and she looked at me strangely before taking a deep breath and looking at her sister with a pout.

“That I miss her and I want her to wake up?” She said and looked at me making me smile with a nod. Me too AJ, I thought to myself.

“Angelina!” I heard Luna Maxine’s voice before I saw the shock on her face when she saw Angelina on the bed.

“It’s okay, I put her there,” I said and quickly stood up to bow my head slightly and show respect.

“Oh, Adrien! I didn’t see you I thought she did that by herself,” she said and gave me a quick hug.

“How is she today?” She asked as she looked at Valerie.

“She’s the same. I mean her body is getting better but she’s still unresponsive,” I said and pressed my lips into a thin line feeling my heart ache. I didn't like being asked because the answer was always the same. I just wanted the answer to be different, to tell them she was awake, or that she's moved.

“She’ll wake up soon, I know it.” She smiled and walked over to Angelina. At the time I wished I had her positivity. “Archer told me about the rogue. Did the patrollers get back at you?” She asked.

“No. I just asked them to check for a cause of death but I haven’t heard back.”

“Well Archer and I were talking and we realized something. They weren’t just individual rogues working together, they were a pack which means they had to be bonded together in some way. But since they aren’t a real pack then their bond is not like ours. They did something, a spell, or a blood bond to connect each other. So the death of Lucien and Zelda might have weakened or affected some of them. That rogue’s death might have been linked to Lucien’s death, but I’m not sure why it took them three weeks to notice,” she said and I stared at her dumbfoundedly.

It made sense why she was a Luna. She thought like one. I would have never thought about it that way and she was most likely correct.

“So that explains sudden death,” I mumbled and she nodded. “So they are coming back in small groups. He couldn’t have been alone there must have been others.”

“I was thinking they might have felt the weakness so they hid somewhere. Archer talked to Mason who is at the base. He said he noticed them becoming weaker but the number of them was still the same,” she said with a sigh as she sat down on the bed and I sat on the chair.

“We need Isabelle to explain things. I think they are weak now but not forever. They will gain their strength back. Their bond must be broken but they are still working together,” I said and she nodded before turning to look at Angelina who was in her own little world.

“We should go back home.” She smiled at her daughter and picked her up.

“But mommy I wanna stay with Ree,” Angelina whined and wiggled in Luna’s hands to get down.

“We’ll come tomorrow okay?” She said and Angelina nodded with a huff.

“Bye Adrien,” she said and waved at me making me chuckle.

“Bye AJ,” I said before sitting beside Valerie and the room fell back into silence.

“I miss you more than anything,” I mumbled and pressed my forehead against hers.

“I know that we had an awful start and I know that I hurt you so much. I used to think having a mate was a curse and I despised the thought of it. Then one day you literally skipped into my office and stared at me with those pretty green eyes of yours. You were so ready and dressed up and I just kicked you out.” I chuckled, replaying that day. I could never forget the look on her face and how sweet her scent was to me.

“I was wrong though. A mate is anything but a curse. You were a blessing sent my way and I knew that for quite a while after we met. Strangely. I miss arguing with you,” I said with a sigh. “We all miss you. I need you to wake up and come back to me. I’m starting to envy people that I see happy.”

“I hate it here without you. I just want to hear your voice and see you smile again,” I said as I gently caressed her face. “And if we’re ever under attack I don’t want you like this, I want you safe at home.” I squeezed her hands. I knew we'd be under attack, it wasn't an if. It was when.

I sat with her just savoring the feeling of having her beside me after a long dreadful day of work when she squeezed my hand back, really softly. I shot up and sat straight as I looked at her and my heart pounded in my chest and I felt the blood rushing through my veins.

“Valerie?” I called and kept looking at her face waiting to see those green eyes and praying that I wasn’t imagining.


I could hear Adrien and I could feel his gentle touches. I heard Angelina’s voice, my mom’s voice. I heard it all but I just couldn’t move. I was awake but I felt trapped in my own body.

I kept trying to move my hands but I felt nothing. I hadn’t even realized that I succeeded, not until Adrien got up and called my name.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he whispered as he caressed my face. I was struggling trying to force myself up and it seemed he could sense that. I felt like screaming and thrashing around but my body refused to move.

All of a sudden I was blinded by bright white light which made me shut my eyes that same second. I took a deep breath and felt my whole body ache as Adrien moved his body to block the light. “Oh Go- Shit,” he muttered. “Valerie precious, hey look at me,” he whispered as he stroked my hair.

I squinted my eyes before slowly blinking and opening them. Adrien was looking down at me with his deep blue eyes that I had missed so much. It gave me a sense of warmth amidst chaos. He searched my face before locking his gaze with mine. “Hi,” he whispered as he took a deep breath and his eyes turned red with tears.

“Hi,” I tried to say back as I moved my arms so I could hold his hand that was on my face but my throat was so dry that my words were inaudible.

“Here,” he said and handed me a bottle of water and helped me drink it. When he pulled it away I smiled at him softly, “hi,” I said making him laugh softly as he shook his head with tears filling up his eyes.

“You’re here… Awake,” he said and put the bed into a sitting position before pulling me into his arms. He hugged me and buried his head in the crook of my neck and I did the same. “I would never leave you,” I said, my voice muffled by his shirt.

His fingers gently dug into the back of my head and into my hair as he breathed me in and gave me the tightest gentle hug he could muster. “Fuck. I missed you,” he said before pulling away and placing his forehead against mine, gracing me with his warmth.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he laced his fingers with mine and held my hands against his chest.

“Like I was run over by a truck,” I said making him frown slightly. Every part of my body ached and my back felt sore. My thoughts were still pretty jumbled up and I was a bit confused but I was glad to see Adrien.

“I’ll go get the doctor. You stay here and don’t close your eyes okay?” He said as he gave my hands a squeeze and practically ran out of the room making me laugh quietly.

I looked around the room and at the tubes sticking into my arm. I wondered why I needed them but quickly forgot about them when Adrien walked back in with Phoenix and another doctor.

“Miss Hale! Good to see you awake. I’m doctor Lewis,” the doctor said as he walked towards me.

“Val!” Phoenix quietly shrieked with a big smile as she stood on the other side of the bed trying to be as professional as she could. “Hi,” I mumbled with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, holding her papers and pen.

“Sore,” I said and she and doctor Lewis both nodded. “That’s normal you’ll feel better soon.”

“This is really good news, your mate over there was starting to go insane without you.” Doctor Lewis said and I shifted my gaze to Adrien who was standing at the foot of the bed. He just shook his head in disbelief before Phonix spoke. “I think he scared every nurse in this building.”

“That’s not true,” Adrien mumbled making them laugh while I lay there, lost and confused.

“You yelled at Amy for bringing you food. And then at Phoenix when she told you to go home for a bit.” Doctor Lewis said with a raised eyebrow and my eyes widened as I shifted my gaze back to Adrien who just shrugged.

“All right. I’m going to do a quick check-up while Phoenix checks your vitals. You were out for three weeks, so your body is a bit weak at the moment, but you’ll recover pretty fast,” he said, and I furrowed my brows.

Three weeks!? Check my vitals? Why did they need to check my vitals? I was a werewolf, it should all be fine. Being out for three weeks itself was not normal. “Three weeks?” I mumbled.

Adrien walked over to my side and took my hands in his, “three weeks,” he repeated and I just looked at him. Bewildered.

“I’m confused, what the hell is going on?” I asked and quickly sat up which immediately made me feel dizzy.

“Miss Hale you need to go easy on yourself,” Doctor Lewis said and I glared at him before looking back at Adrien.

“What’s going on Adrien? Why was I out for three weeks and why do I feel horrible and why do they need to check my vitals!?” I rambled with my voice slightly raised as I moved closer to his side.

“Shh Valerie it’s okay. You took a pretty hard fall, you’re just shaken up. Let them check you now,” he said as he moved his thumb in circles on my palm.

I knew something was wrong but I was too tired and I couldn’t quite figure it out. But I knew they weren’t telling me something because they acted strangely, and I felt strange. Like I didn’t know myself.

As soon as Phoenix and doctor Lewis left me and Adrien alone after making sure that everything was okay I turned to look at him.

“What are you not telling me?” I asked with furrowed brows.

“You need to rest so we can go home tomorrow,” he said and helped me lay down and pulled the covers over me. Totally ignoring my question and not once looking at me in the eyes.

“Adrien?” I called but he still refused to look me in the eye. I pressed my lips into a thin line before laying on my side and holding back my tears as I faced away from him.

First, he acted so loving then he suddenly wasn’t able to simply look at me. I was exhausted and I was not in the mood to fight so I just shut my eyes and hoped that when I woke up things wouldn’t be so horrible.

“I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.” I heard him whisper as he stroked my hair but I acted like I was asleep. I felt the bed dip slightly and I knew that he was lying beside me. “I love you.”

I had no idea if he meant for me to hear him or if he thought I was asleep, but it just made my heart ache more because I had no idea what was going on and I couldn’t think straight. Slowly, my eyelids became heavy and exhaustion pulled me into a deep sleep, away from everything.

I jolted up from my sleep and found myself panting and sweating. I quickly sat up as my heart pounded against my ribcage and the room began spinning. I looked to my right and found Adrien sleeping soundly beside me before I buried my head into my hands tried to calm my racing heart. Everything came back to me.

When I woke up the day before I somehow didn’t think about what happened to me. Lucien, Zelda, and her insignia. I had no idea how I forgot. It was the reason I was out for three weeks.

“Alaska…” I muttered as my eyes widened and I felt my heart drop to my stomach as the realization hit me. “No… No-no,” I panicked as I got off the bed and tried to walk to the bathroom in my room using things on my way to help me steady myself.

It couldn’t be, I didn’t believe it. I was just tired that’s why I felt different. I refused to believe it.

Tears prickled my eyes as I made it to the bathroom and held onto the sink for dear life. I took deep breaths and gripped the sink a little too hard that my knuckles turned white.

I looked up at the mirror and saw my reflection. My face was red and blotchy and my hair no that messy which meant someone was taking care of it, but I looked horrible.

My gown had an opening on the back so I slowly turned around and tried to look at my back but I couldn’t see anything because I couldn’t turn my head around that much. “Alaska,” I called. I just needed to hear her whimper or growl or anything. Just something to tell me she was there but there was nothing… Just me and my thoughts.

“Valerie.” I heard Adrien’s voice and looked up to find him standing by the door and looking at me.

I stared at him before a sob escaped my lips and the tears fell out of my eyes uncontrollably. I let go of the sink and let myself fall to the floor which alarmed Adrien and he quickly rushed to my side and picked me up. He sat me onto his lap and held my head against his shoulders as I cried loudly, not even caring that anyone could hear me.

“I lost my wolf!” I cried out and fisted his shirt as my body shook uncontrollably. “That’s why I feel like shit and not like myself.”

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said and tightened his arms around me but I just cried more.

“Shh,” he said as he rubbed my back and heard my cries. I was broken, shattered. I was robbed of my wolf and my gift. I felt like part of my heart and my soul were gone. I was Alaska and Alaska was me. We were one thing and I’d known to have her for most of my life.

“I'm so sorry. It’s okay Valerie, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out, it’s okay,” he kept repeating as he ran his fingers through my hair, trying to soothe me.

"I can't," I cried out again. I continued crying for what felt like hours and he just listened and tried to sooth me.

My sobs quieted down and I lay quietly on him just savoring his warmth and trying to even out my breaths. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked quietly as I squeezed his arms and took a deep breath to not burst into another round of sobs.

“I couldn’t,” he said and wiped my cheeks. “I can’t see you cry. I can’t see you hurting. We’ll figure it out once you’re better.”

Adrien picked me up and carried me back into my room and put me on the bed, “I’m not a werewolf anymore,” I whispered and pulled my knees up to my chest. I felt empty, I felt lost. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest.

“No. You are. I don’t believe that Alaska is gone. I know she’s somewhere in there. She’s just gone into hiding because what you went through was extreme.”

I lifted my gaze up and met his eyes. “Kai? Can Kai feel her?” I asked with hopefulness lacing my voice that soon left once I saw him shaking his head slowly.

“Can we go home?” I asked. I wanted to leave that place, I didn’t want to spend any more days there. Not even one. I wanted to grieve in my own room and not see anyone.

“You need to get discharged first and your parents and Stella should be here soon,” he said. At least I had my family and friends with me. If I was alone I wouldn’t have made it. I bit my lip and let more tears fall down my cheeks, I couldn't hold them back.

Adrien looked away from me and that was when I got a good look at his face. He had dark circles around his eyes. He also had a full beard and his hair looked like a mess. He looked just as exhausted as I was and I knew he was putting up a front for me. What he and his wolf went through with me gone couldn’t have been easy. We needed each other more than ever before. We shared our vulnerabilities which wasn't good. It wasn't the right time for us to be weak but it seemed the moon Goddess made it her mission to make us suffer.

Hey! Hope you liked it and I'm sorry for the late update. Please like and comment ♡♡ Let me know what you think Xx

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