Chapter 11: All Too Well
I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But something about it felt like home somehow.
Rachel felt her heart stop. She looked over at Quinn, who appeared to be completely shocked from the girl that had appeared before them. Then Rachel turned to look at the girl that had completely shattered Quinn's heart.
Zoie and Rachel didn't really look alike; Rachel made this assumption right off the bat. Whereas Rachel thought of herself to be kind of plain, Zoie was supermodel material. Sure, they had the same hair color and eye color, and they were relatively the same height, but they looked nothing alike. Rachel felt completely inadequate when compared with this girl, and she wished Quinn had not let go of her hand the second they saw Zoie.
The girl's face lit up in recognition. She smiled. "It's been a while, Quinn."
"It has," Quinn agreed. Rachel looked over at Quinn, trying to assess how she felt about this sudden turn of events. Rachel knew that Quinn and Zoie hadn't crossed paths since they broke up. Yet Quinn's face remained emotionless.
"I've been meaning to call you," Zoie said, stepping closer to them.
"You have?" There it was. The faintest hint of emotion; of hope. Rachel felt like heart ache for Quinn as she heard the hope in her voice.
She nodded. "I have. I thought maybe we could try things again?"
"What?" both Rachel and Quinn said, almost simultaneously.
And I know it's long gone
And that magic's not here no more
And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all.
"I've been thinking that it's such a waste to throw away all that time together, Quinn," Zoie said. Quinn had never expected to hear these words again. She'd never even expected to see Zoie again. Yet there she was, saying those words, on the worst possible day. Quinn didn't know what to think. She could barely breathe.
"Oh," was all Quinn could find the words to say. This was what she had always wanted, right? Zoie coming back to her would fix everything. She would finally have her best friend back. Things could go back to the way they once were at the beginning of college. So why did she feel so conflicted?
"Unless you're with Rachel Berry like the papers are suggesting?" Zoie asked, looking between the two of them.
"Of course we're not together," Quinn said quickly. She knew it was what she was supposed to say, as Rachel still had a boyfriend in the eye of the media. Except when she glanced at Rachel, she saw a look of pain cross her face. Quinn's answer had hurt her.
"Yeah, we're not," she heard Rachel agree, but she couldn't focus on anything else but the hurt she had seen in her eyes.
"Good," Zoie said, smiling at the both of them. "I don't want your heart to be broken. Straight girls are always such heartbreakers."
If Quinn was in her right mind, she probably would've made some smart remark about how lesbians could also break hearts, but she wasn't. Quinn was lost in the haze that was Zoie. "Yeah."
"From what I've heard, though, it's Quinn who's quite the heartbreaker for straight girls," Rachel added, sounding a bit sharp. Quinn wanted to reprimand her for being mean to Zoie, but then she realized what she was thinking. Rachel was just defending her when she couldn't find the words to defend herself.
Zoie completely ignored Rachel's comment. "Quinn, do you know how long we've been friends?"
"Practically forever," Quinn found herself mumbling.
"Exactly. So when I think about it, I really don't want to give us up. I hate how we ended before. I mean, if we broke up we should've at least stayed friends, because we've always been friends."
"Yeah." Quinn knew exactly why they didn't stay friends, but she couldn't quite find the reasoning at the time.
"I just… I feel like I've been missing a part of me, and it wasn't until recently that I realized it's you."
Quinn felt like she had been stabbed in the heart. She glanced down just to make sure. Nope, it was just her emotions. "I miss you, Zoie."
"I miss you too, Quinn. So please, say we can try again?"
And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to.
Rachel felt like throwing up at the sound of those words.
There was no way Quinn would go back to her after everything Zoie had done to her. Yet Rachel could see that Quinn was considering it. It hurt her to think that Quinn, who had just said she wanted to try to make things work with Rachel, was now considering dropping everything to run back to a girl who had completely shattered her heart once before.
It made Rachel sick.
"I swear that this time I won't screw everything up," Rachel heard Zoie say. Rachel wanted to roll her eyes. If Finn had said something like that to her, she would have laughed at him. Sometimes people deserve second chances, but people like Zoie and Finn do not.
Which was why Rachel couldn't believe she was watching Quinn make a huge mistake.
"I don't know…" Quinn said, and Rachel wished she could help her. "You really fucked me up. I don't know if I can do it again."
Zoie sighed. "I miss my best friend. I miss talking to her, making messes in the kitchen with her, going on adventures in London with her. She has been such a huge part of my life for so long that I have literally been hurting without her. Everywhere I go, whether it's in London or Ohio, there's always some memory of us. I can't get away from them, and they are eating me alive." Rachel had to admit, Zoie did look sincere during this, and she almost felt a little sorry for the girl. Then Rachel remembered that this wasn't Quinn's fault, this was Zoie's. Zoie was the one who messed everything up, and even if Zoie was enduring all this pain that she said she was, Quinn was enduring even more. Quinn had to live with the memories and the fact that Zoie cheated on her. She had to make the choice between hating Zoie for what she did or remembering her as the best friend she had loved for so long.
Rachel was hurting just thinking about all the emotions that had to be going through Quinn's mind at the time. She just hoped that Quinn would be able to make the right decision.
"Please don't do this," Quinn begged. Rachel could see that her resistance was barely there, hanging on by thread. "You have no idea what I've been through."
She practically ignored what Quinn had said. "Do you want to throw away years of friendship just because of some silly little fight?" Zoie asked, stepping even closer and taking Quinn's hand, the hand that Rachel had been holding only minutes before.
Zoie's question was what tipped the deciding point. Rachel watched Quinn's attitude change.
"You're the one who threw it away, Zoie," Quinn stated, dropping Zoie's hand. Rachel felt immensely proud of Quinn's decision. Then Quinn took Rachel's hand and started pulling her away. "Come on, Rachel."
The two got halfway down the block before they heard it. Rachel had been practically glowing from happiness for Quinn, and then this just had to ruin it.
"Please?" was the faint call of they heard from Zoie. To the normal person, it probably would have been a heartbreaking call, as you could tell that her voice was cracking from the emotion of it all. Rachel was just annoyed by it. Quinn, however, let go.
She turned back around to face Zoie, and Rachel could see the tears in Quinn's eyes. Quinn looked from Zoie and then back to Rachel.
"I'm so sorry, Rachel," Quinn whispered, and Rachel was still trying to comprehend what Quinn could possibly be sorry for when Quinn took off down the street and ran straight into Zoie's arms.
Maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece
'Till you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there
I remember it all too well.