My heart was racing madly as I am pushed down a hallway. I kept asking them to take me back, to let me go back and get my men. But they wouldn't listen to me. Nobody was listening to me.
My heart and mind were still back in the war zone. I couldn't comprehend what was really going on around me.
I am placed in a room when I swear I see an angel. The light from the window lit her up and damn I saw the most divine creature. Then my mind goes back to my men, my team my friends the ones who had been by my side since I joined the army when I was 18.
"Miss? My voice comes our coarse and rough. I clear my throat so she can understand me. No one is listening to me.
She looked up over the clipboard. Her crystal blue eyes sparkled, for a moment I forgot how to breathe. I couldn't blink or get my body to cooperate. My eyes couldn't look away.
"Hey, Mr. James." She spoke softly her lips where all I could focus on, they looked soft and plush, they were between coral and soft cherry colour with a sheen of a gloss. Just beautiful.
Focus man, your men need you.
"Get me out of here, can you get me a phone? I ask desperately, hoping it's not too late.
"Sir, you've been badly injured you need to stay here. Your in no shape to leave."
"I...I need to go back, my men need me."
"Sir, there are two other men that we're brought here with you."
"Who? Where is the rest??
"I'm not sure of the names but I can go check."
"Go check," I commanded like she was one of my men and she should just obey. She didn't seem to be flustered by my tone.
"Okay, I'll be right back." She walked out fidgeting with her pink nurses scrub . . . Damn! she has a beautiful body I can't help but stare at her luscious ass as she walked away. Mmmm, this is cause I haven't been in contact with a female, for over a year being stationed in Iraq.
It hadn't even dawned on me until she left that she didn't even flinch or cringe looking at me. I haven't seen myself but I can tell my face and body are messed up. I hurt everywhere.
I am lost looking out the window getting flashes of the last thing I remember the smoke, bullets...loud explosions.
I jump when I hear my name.
"Shit! My heart pounded so fast I could feel it in my chest so intensely.
"Sorry." She said softly. So, do you know an Axl and Carter?
"Yes! I said.
"Okay, they are here."
"Are they okay?
"Well they are stable and heading in the right direction but they are hurt pretty badly just as you are."
"What about the others??
"I'm sorry." She looked at the ground her eyes gave herself away. Tears ran down her face that she quickly brushes off.
"They're gone? I ask.
"Yes." She replies her voice came out in a whisper.
"All of them?? They can't all be gone. Freaking Hank, Shane, Paul with wives and kids back home. How can this be happening? why didn't I die? I have no one.
"This can't be right."
"I'm so sorry." She took a seat on the bed and places her hand on my wrapped hand.
I pulled my hand away, I don't need her pity or sorrow-filled eyes.
"Get out! I yelled...
"I said get the fuck out!!
She didn't budge she just sat there staring at me with giant tears welling up in her eyes.
"Briggs, you're here for a reason."
"You don't know anything."
"I may not, but I know that life is precious and you can either throw it away or live it for the ones that didn't get to."
"Life sucks steals and takes away everything great." I was shouting at her.
Still, she didn't flinch or quiver in fear.
She stood up and looked out the window.
"Say something damnit.? I said sharply.
"I get your hurting and going through hell but you should be thankful that you are still here."
"You don't know shit. You don't know loss or suffering." I hold my fist to my eyes covering my tears. Do not show weakness.
"You don't have to keep it together or act all tough this does suck and you will go through shit, but maybe watch how you treat people." I pull my balled-up fist away and just stare at her.
"GET OUT!!! I said through clenched teeth feeling my emotions hitting the surface.
She walked out...fuck!!!
I grabbed the first thing I could and knocked the IV stand over ripping put the IV from my arm. Blood started squirting out.
I grab for the call button...The nurse came back in. She rushed over when she saw the blood everywhere.
"Shit! She sounded scared but she worked quickly putting gloves on then ran around and found something to put over the vein to stop the bleeding.
She was gentle. She smelled fucking delicious. Likes cherries and Vanilla.
"Thank you." I laid back feeling stupid.
"Are you alright, did you pull that out on purpose??
"No, my temper got the better of me."
"Maybe bring it down a notch."
"Thanks captain obvious."
"Would you like to go for a walk? And by walk I mean I push you and we head somewhere?
"Can I go see my friends?
"I can see if they are up for visitors."
She stepped up and fluffed my pillow behind me her body was so close pressing against me. Her smell was making me go berserk under my gown. She moved away like she was nervous again.
"Sorry I didn't mean to enter your space I just wanted to make you comfortable."
"So walk or no?
"Not sure I can even move?
"Why don't we see if you can move?
She moved the blanket off me and I was tenting huge in my gown. She quickly covered me back up.
Her cheeks went bright red turning away from me she moved across the room
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"Hahaha, I just wasn't expecting that."
"Trust me you and me both." We both laughed.
"What's your name? He asks me.
"Guess I need to know your name so I can know who to call for."
"Are you just going to be yelling it?
"Hahah, I'm sorry." He ran his hands over his face. He suddenly stopped. He ran his hand slowly over his burnt face.
"Fuck! I'm a monster."
"No Briggs you're not." My eyes tear up. Keep it together.
"Why are you crying?? His eyes lock on mine.
"I'm sorry," I spoke quietly unsure of what to do for him.
"Don't look at me like that." He sounded pissed...angry.
I look away my heart hurt for him. I hurry out of the room feeling myself losing it. I couldn't keep it together.
I wanted to be there but I don't know what to do.
I let him be for some time then I pulled myself together and walked back in. He was asleep. Even in sleep, it didn't look peaceful. He has deep creases in his forehead, like he was dreaming in battle mode.
I take a seat and go over his chart and check his vitals.
His heart rate was rapidly increasing. His body was shaking and his head was moving back and forth.
I stand up and places my hand on his arm. His eyes shot open and he looked spooked.
"Where am I?? His chest was rising and falling so fast.
"You're in the hospital, I speak calmly.
"Is everyone ok? His voice shook with worry.
I shook my head. Scared that I wouldn't be able to speak.
"Fuck! He hanged his fist on the side table.
"Axl and Carter are here."
"I want to see them."
"Let's me see if they can have visitor."
His hand shot and grabbed mine.
"Am I dead?