C H A P T E R - O N E
I tap my pen continuously against the wooden desk, drumming a made up tune. Some people shoot annoyed glances my way but don’t say a word, others continue to jot down notes as the teacher goes on, not giving me the time of day. I stretch my legs out under the desk and sink in my chair slightly, letting a loud sigh slip.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
The hour passed quicker than I expected it would, too lost in my own thoughts. Tilting my head up slightly, my tired eyes catch a glance at the time on the plain white clock perched high above mrs millers head. If I had read the time correctly there where 15 minutes left to the lesson. I’d always hated English. There was too much information that didn’t seem important enough to stick in my head.
Once I got a look at how long was left, time seemed to slow down. It was toying with me, it always does. Time never seemed to be in my favour. The moment I need it there isn’t enough left, by the time I don’t need it there’s too much to spare.
Once class it over I can do as I please, moms always pressing me about friends and school, all the things I can go out and do if I want. She encourages social activity but I won’t take it, and I know it’s going to cause me trouble one day. Despite all this, I know I’ll end up locked away by myself in my bedroom.
My tapping suddenly ceases as the teacher turns to throw me a warning look over her shoulder, he red hair glowing like fire. She’s had enough. Some of the students around me let a huff of relief go to now that I had stopped.
My tired eyes sweep around the classroom for the hundredth time this lesson, eying every single person. Observing was a natural habit of mine, I get it from mom, I think. I never jump into anything, I just like to sit and watch, learn from others as much as I can so I don’t have to learn from my own stupid mistakes.
No one looked particularly interested in what was being taught but they got on with what they where meant to anyway. I turn my head to the open window that displays a view of the football field. No one seemed to be out there. A soft breeze sweeps in through the window, fanning over my face. It’s too hot for school here. If we are going to sit around in stuffy classrooms all day they should at least get an air conditioner.
A few more minutes pass and the bell had rung sending a mass of students barreling out from each closed classroom door. Now the school halls are buzzing with activity,crammed with teenagers, people’s voices bouncing off the walls. One things for certain, everyone was more than willing to get home.
Before I could venture off through the halls, a hand pulls me back by my forearm. If I hadn’t known who it was I would have started off in a sprint for the doors, but this was a normal occurrence. I spin on my heel and raise an eyebrow.
Stephanie Miller. The last names a farmiliar one, her mom is both our English teacher, she’s sat us seperate on purpose too. Stephanie had always been a bit of a goodie too shoes, not that it was bad. It meant she never got in trouble, she had a lot of friends, likes to socialise as much as she can and she could be a suck up when she chose to be.
It meant she was the total opposite of me. And her mom makes it very clear that she wanted it to stay that way.
Steph was better looking than any other girl here, red hair but short, almost in a bob. Usually you would see red hair long and waivy, I guess she just likes to be a little bit different. She was pale to match and a set of bold freckles had been passed down from her mother, splatted across her pink cheeks. I’m surprised she hadn’t had a boyfriend yet. Maybe it’s because no one here can match her.
She waits patiently for the halls to clear so we could talk without having to scream at each other. Once it was nearly quiet she flashes a bright smile, ear to ear, and let’s go if my wrist to clasp her hands in front of her floral skirt. She dressed like a try hard 40 year old woman but she still made it work.
“So, are you coming this weekend?” She’s still smiling as she speaks with a glint in her emerald green eyes. She looked so hopeful.
But this weekend? No. Of course I could go but I didn’t want to. Steph had planned to drag me along with her other friends for a day out on the town, to which I turned down 6 times this week already. 7 now.
“Steph, I told you that I couldn’t already” I fake a sad smile. Her smile doesn’t fall but her eyes loose their sparkle. She knows I’m not going but she will askes, just in case I change my mind. Before I say anything else I bring my hand up to point at my teeth.
“Remember? I have an appointment- ” Stephanie’s face finally falls and she waves her hand in a dismissive way. It was the only excuse I had to get out of a hang out with a bunch of girls I didn’t really want to get to know.
“Dentist, I know” she looks at me and tilts her head to one side, like a wining puppy. “But they’re already perfect!” She excliams and I almost scoff at her complement “I just wish you could come” I felt like I had let her down again, I loved Steph but I didn’t really show it. I treated her like she was a lost puppy, left to follow me around if she wanted.
“I know but I can’t, maybe another time” lie. I always lie to her. I tell myself it’s just to protect her feelings. But then I know she’s just trying to help me out. I know it’s really just because I don’t want to go. Selfish, but that’s me.
She sighs again and runs a hand through her hair in exhaustion, tossing me an are you sure? Look. I nod simply and I decide to say goodbye before she could try and pursuade me to go with her. She hugs me goodbye, her face smooshed into the side of my shoulder. Like she thinks she’s never going to see me again. She removes herself from me and skips the opposite way, down the halls and to the English staff room where she waits for her mom to Finnish up with work.
I grab my bag straps and watch Steph disappear around the corner before I walk swiftly out the double glass doors. By this point I would have missed the bus I’m meant to take home everyday. I preferred to walk anyway.
less people the better.
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